I rested in the morning and in the afternoon went to the Tabernacle and heard Abram H. Cannon, was much interested and came home and went to dinner at 323 2nd St. Lydia Ann had just returned from Manti and told me much that had transpired while she was there, Kate & May came down with me to call on Belle who has been quite ill. Zine and Dot went to Edith L. Shirtliff [Shurtleff]’s funeral in the morning– she was Zine’s cousin’s¹ daughter. In the evening Dot went to meeting and I did some proof reading and then went up to Belle’s to spend the night she is a little better now. [p. 335] {p. 285}

Belle’s birthday, she is not able to be up but intends to go to dinner if she can. Chloe [Young Benedict] has been to see her and brought her a souvenir spoon, May a pretty handkerchief– I gave her gloves and lace– I had to work all day but at evening I went up– We had quite a plasant evening though Belle was very tired and the worry was almost too much–

In the afternoon we had a meeting about a party for the Hospital, Grace [Hardie] Young was one of the ladies called in to consult– Mrs. Salisbury was here this morning and we had some talk about the World’s Fair– [p. 336] {p. 286}

Today has been such a busy one. had a meeting of ladies at three p.m. to talk about a Hospital ball and set about particulars, sent for Charles Burton the manager of the theatre to get a date etc. date fixed for Nov. 20– decided on some things Went off to Ogden on the 6. o’clock train, found Annie well– baby not so well– house all span clean new curtains and several other things– had a nice evening with Annie slept with the little girls– talked over everything we could of what had taken place since my last visit, and had lunch in the parlor about midnight– Sweetie played on the organ for me very sweetly [p. 337] {p. 287}

Annie and I walked to the depot and missed the train, went back and had coffee etc. and came back for the 12.15 train, we were in time for that, Annie came on the train with me and stayed until the time for starting, came home about two p.m. and at three we had another meeting about the party– in the evening went up to Belle’s to dinner. Mr. [James] Woodmancy was there & I spent the evening. Had quite a pleasant time with the company. Sep went to the theatre and took Allie [Margaret Alley] Davis & Dot went to the Choral with Johnnie Spencer. I went to bed in unusually good time [p. 338] {p. 288}

Henry Grow an old acquaintance is dead and also Catharine [Catherine Haskell] Woodbury whom I knew when a child. Came down from Belle’s early and went off to Fast Meeting– it was quite a full meeting. Nett had her baby blessed today. named Kenneth Alley [Culmer]– May was there with her. Went over to see Abbie a few minutes and then home to see after other things– arranged for the printing of the tickets Cal & baby called awhile– Lyde introduced me to the Reverend Mr. [David N.] Utter I was much disappointed in him. Tonight Gilmore’s Band Concert in the Tabernacle and a chorus of trained voices by [Evan] Stephens [p. 339] {p. 289}

Slept late had a disagreeable night, poor woman waiting when I came in to the office, Sister Lunt² and Naigle [Naegle]³ both going to Mexico called to see about their papers also Sister Libbie [Elizabeth Laker] Noall who is going to the Sandwich Islands wanted some instruction– Belle, Zine, Mr. Woodmancy were all here at once. Mrs. Dickinson called claims to be of the Hadl[e]y⁴ Dickinsons, lives in the City. Went up to Belle’s to dinner– Gilmore’s Concert tonight and last night. It seems to be quite a success. I have accomplished very little today or yesterday or even this week, I feel it very much, but I am worried– [p. 340] {p. 290}

This is Mell’s wedding day and I have been so busy and Belle preparing to go away– Zine picked a box of chrysanthemums and sent off to Mell, they were very beautiful and it would be a sweet reminder to her. I am so glad of Zine that my girls take to her so kindly and she to them. It is very pleasant for me and for the family and we are drawn nearer through it. I could not get time to write a word to Mell; it is seventeen years I think for it was in 1874– and Winnie would have been sixteen in October the 16th. How many things have happened since then and how changed does all the world seem. [p. 341] {p. 291}

Last evening Belle made all preparations and this morning soon after breakfast started off. Sep went to the station to see her off but we all remained at home– it seemed very lonely. I went to meeting in the afternoon and Br. [George G.] Bywater was preaching– after wards Angus M. Cannon spoke a few words and I came on up to Belle’s and had dinner and spent the evening here– the children are lonesome I know but they are very good about it. I feel it keenly, it is all owing to man’s selfishness. Belle’s feelings would prompt her to stay with the children but she is between two ways and scarce knows which is most <her duty–>⁵ [p. 342] {p. 292}

Very late getting down to the Office and yet so much to do– have been getting Lula Greene Richards biographical sketch ready for the Young Woman’s Journal.⁶ And have only recently finished the article of Vilate Kimball– I try very hard to do some creditable work, but it is awkward for me to have so much anxiety & still do these things. It makes it very wearing on me, my mind keeps wrought up to such a tension all the time, that it is hard to be composed and collect my wandering thoughts in and concentrate them upon subjects to elaborate. Then I have so many calls upon my time & questions to answer [p. 343] {p. 293}

We had a <Hospital> meeting here today in reference to a party for the benefit of the Hospital We each expressed our views freely and devised some definite plans to work to. I felt it would be a great undertaking for me under the circumstances with already more work than it is possible for one pair of hands and one brain to do, and yet I must take my portion of the work of preparation. I was so busy I could not stay to dine with the ladies after the meeting but came on home to do my work and get up to the children at Belle’s. Dot goes to Choral and there needs to be some one besides children in a house like that. though really the youngest ones are very good– [p. 344] {p. 294}

Met here in my parlor to talk over the party we are intending to give for the benefit of the Hospital– some have one idea and some an opposite one– between all we may at last arrive at something definite. The general tone of conversation everywhere at the present time is about the testimony of the First Presidency before the Courts.⁷ It does seem very hard upon young women who have entered into plural marriage relations for principle– but our Father knows what is best for us all and loves his daughters and has a wise purpose in all that He allows to transpire [p. 345] {p. 295}

Most of the brethren seem unwilling to give an opinion upon this matter of testimony in fact they seem more confused over it than in regard to the manifesto and it is more puzzling. President Woodruff has preached in Logan and in Brigham City lately and spoken out very plainly on the subject. I firmly believe that the principle has been taken from us and we shall not have it again until there is a purer generation to enter into it. It is the only wise conclusion. the division in politics is another trial to many and hard to comprehend [p. 346] {p. 296}

There is a meeting at Mrs. Jennings to report progress and as she was absent from home I had to report progress. <act as Chairman> The young girls were quite enthusiastic about the sale of tickets and it looks now as though we were really going to have a benefit worth while.⁸ The University Ball coming on the same day will be something of a hindrance but we hope to get them to postpone it, if not we cannot have Olsen [Magnus Olson]’s Band & the caller who goes with it. When I came home talked with Clawson about the indebtedness and tried to impress upon him the necessity of paying up. [p. 347] {p. 297}

This morning I saw Pres. Angus M. Cannon and asked him to please mention the party for the Deseret Hospital in the Priesthood meeting and request the Bishops to mention it in their wards throughout the Stake. He wanted me to write it– so I did and while doing so– Miss Kate Field called and stayed a few minutes. I felt very much annoyed because of what she had said in her lecture at the theatre– and could not feel justified without telling her so, but she was very resentful and did not think she had done wrong.⁹ It made me feel quite nervous all day after– once I had a most sincere friendship for her– and it does seem strange to have one’s dearest friends turn enemies [p. 348] {p. 298}

At the Tabernacle Br. Penrose preached, it was a sermon for the unbelievers mostly yet calculated to do good to all, and I felt better for going to meeting. Kate & May sat near me, and we walked along together and I went up to Belle’s to the children who are left kind of lonely– Dot is young to have the responsibility of the house. Lucile is very thoughtless while Dot is the very opposite. There were some callers in the evening but they all retired early and I sat writing and meditating; how strange it seems to be in a new house, and all around so different to what I have been accustomed to– so many years I lived in my own house this is like a visit– [p. 349] {p. 299}

Today Adeline came up and was here quite awhile– spoke of many old things talked of the Godbe’s–¹⁰ said tomorrow would be Jessie [Justus Jesse Earl]’s birthday– She still clings fondly to his memory. I do not think she is as bitter against our people as she was formerly. I have had so many people coming in and have been very much worried and upset. in fact I feel very nervous about Belle’s being away from home. I do wish she would come and attend to the house and the children. it is such a worriment to me. I can scarcely endure such a strain upon my nerves. [p. 350] {p. 300}

A fine day and all is quiet as usual, I suppose Adeline will keep the day– formerly we used to go there to dinner, how changed everything is since then, and how much has transpired that we could never have predicted. Lula Richards has been in a great deal of late and seems more interested than usual in literary work. Sister Sarah G. Richards has recovered much to my astonishment. She is a very eccentric person and has lived wonderfully considering her delicate health and loneliness. She is a great reader and very spiritual minded– [p. 351] {p. 301}

A very good day but very tiresome nevertheless, and Mrs. Dickinson came to whom I feel under some obligations to be polite on account of Louis [Robison Wells] & the Esquire etc. I went with her to June’s and then to Emeline & Lyde– she seemed to enjoy the call very much indeed and was particularly friendly; the case of sore throat at Sister Moyle’s is very serious and I fear it will develop into diphtheria yet– I went up early to Belle’s but I find they care very little for my society and advice– I cannot do them much good. The time for the party is drawing very near– we have nearly made all the preparations. [p. 352] {p. 302}

<Went to a party at Sister Eardley’s in honor of her mother–¹¹> This morning the Committee met at the theatre and everything was finally settled– the girls are working at the programmes and the decorations and have done all in their power to make it a success. I think it must be in the end for if faith and works combined can make it so it cannot fail. Dot is not very well and with the family on her hands she has more than her share but the party will be over soon and I shall not ask her to help after that with any thing more if I can help it. I feel sorry she has had so much to do– she has been quite successful however and that is encouraging my mailing hangs on & on [p. 353] {p. 303}

This is Sister Horne’s birthday she is seventy three years old a great age to live and be well and strong in mind and body. I gave her Sir Edwin Arnold’s “Light of the World” handsomely bound– the girls have their booths for flowers and candy all arranged beautifully and everything seems so pleasant, I have not been feeling well at all– my mind is so affected I wonder sometimes if I really am all right, the most depressing doubts and griefs oppress me and I feel weighed down into the very earth with the oppression that broods over and around me– I know not what is for the best– my heart is sad indeed. [p. 354] {p. 304}

I went to the party–¹² sat in the candy stall and helped wherever I could– all turned out fine– music of the best quality– dancing beautiful– everybody gay and no disappointments. Geo. Q. and Angus M. Cannon were there– and a beautiful assembly of young girls and women in exquisite costumes– flowers sold well & candy too and lemonade not so well as we had expected– today the children had a party to help out the Benefit, the day is not very fine, but there are quite a number of children gathered and having a nice time. Dot, Lucile & Eugene are there. I wanted Emmie to go but she preferred Wonderland–¹³ [p. 355] {p. 305}

We are just about worn out with the party and its work– I did not attempt getting up until after twelve Aunt Zina called– I went down home and tried to get ready for Minnie [Rasmine Christensen] coming– made her bedroom more tidy Elise came and helped with the dining room– At evening I went up to Belle’s again. Dot was not feeling well– Sep was out and the folks were all kind of upset over the flag for diphtheria next door– Emily Whitney is very sick with sore throat and Racie is better Margaret [Whitney] has the croup– Zine has her hands full– Sanford [Sandford W. Hedges] too has diphtheria. Scott [Daniel H. Wells III] has come from New York– with Luella [Cobb] Young– [p. 356] {p. 306}

This morning is gloomy Em. home from school because there is diphtheria next door and it makes one feel very gloomy. Belle wrote rather gloomily too and that adds to the impression. Mrs. Mary Neff Hall is dead of childbed fever, she used to set type on our paper– leaves three little ones, the youngest two weeks old. Her husband¹⁴ is a consumptive– used to keep the Valley House now runs the White House– there have been terrific storms in the East of late, frightful. Minnie came this afternoon it seemed quite good to have some one to wait upon me in my own house again. she will stay there alone while I sleep at Belle’s Dot went to Opera practise tonight– [p. 357] {p. 307}

This morning Minnie started to sew for Belle– Sep came home sick– he had been sleeping all night at the store too sick to come home– it seems dreadful to have sickness and the mother away from home– Eugene came home with his books from the school because of diphtheria next door– I went to the office– had lots of callers– wrote to Apostle George Teasdale in Mexico a letter long delayed Aunt Zina has been in twice today and three or four times yesterday– she is anxious about the Hospital and wants to know how the party turned out financially. It was better than we any of us expected about 700– dollars besides expenses– came up to Belle’s Sep sick in bed. [p. 358] {p. 308}

Sister Horne came in before I was up and after I went down we sat hours together in the parlor talking of many things when I reached the office I found Sister Richards had been there after me. Lula came too, we talked about the Press Association and publishing the Constitution etc. Miss Lizzie Smith of Bountiful was in also E. S. Taylor Aunt Zina and others. The day was a real November one dreary and drizzling, no especial news– Sister Stevensen came Julia [Clark] Taylor Abbie Wells, May and Nett also Lydia Ann– Sanford has diphtheria and is very ill– such a sad thing for them– Scott Ham [Daniel H. Wells Jr.]’s son is here from the East. He is staying with his Aunt Luella Young. I am still at Belle’s, expect to dine here tomorrow– [p. 359] {p. 309}

This morning was fine & warm too much so for this season of the year. I went to the depot to see Annie & the children as they were going to have Thanksgiving at the Cannon Farm, the train was late and I went back and waited had lunch in the old house alone with only Minnie who is staying with me to wait upon me. Today she cleaned the stoves and the parlor– and it did seem good to have some one to look after my <physical> comfort a little. John Q. and Annie & all the children were there at last and drove off to the farm so gay, and I came back alone to the dear old house & wept. By and bye Dot came with her sweet face & we came up together, Dot is sick Lucile Em Elise & Eugene all went <out Dot fell asleep & I was here alone writing & thinking.> [p. 360] {p. 310}

A murder occurred this morning of two of the city people Capt. Parker and a Sergeant on the force. Came Allbright, Sep came home and told us before I was up. really the city is in a terrible condition and surely the people will take the matter into serious consideration. Annie & the children came up from the farm and called a few minutes, it was only time to say a parting word ere they were gone. It was like a beautiful rainbow to have them for a glance– Such sweet children all were here to see them except Sep. and Lucile. In the evening I went up to Belle’s again to stay as usual. It is lonely for the children to be without mother. [p. 361] {p. 311}

Nette Culmer’s birthday. born while her father¹⁵ was out in Echo Caňon. She called in a few minutes. I can scarcely keep up my mind is worried and I long for Belle to come home and especially on Sep’s account. I have had one letter from her but do not feel as if I could answer unless to tell her how essential it seems to me for her to come home. Dot is not quite old enough to take charge. and to manage a house. Lucile is not very pliable and the diphtheria next door kept the children out of school. Minnie has been sewing at Belle’s for some days, and goes home to night for Sunday. [p. 362] {p. 312}

I came down late and after doing some writing went to the Tabernacle. Sent off a letter to Mell. John Morgan and the Rev. A. J. Bailey of Ogden spoke. the house was crowded and the children’s choir rendered the anthem. came up to Belle’s to dinner had turkey etc. then went home to do some more writing, came up later on. Dot went to see Florence Crismon Frank Craft was here in the parlor with Lucile. Zine is much better. and so are the children, the child that was sick at Mrs. Moyle’s has gone home to Wood’s Cross and the house will now be fumigated and disinfected. Dot and all are in bed early. [p. 363] {p. 313}

<Sep. & Allie called at the office together today> All day in perplexity deciding what bills to pay, and how to make money go far enough. Clawson came and said pay two thirds etc. Mrs. French from New York City called and asked many questions Others hindered me in my work. Letter from Susa that she could not come to the Press Club– made ready for twenty or so. only three came,¹⁶ but we held the meeting. had papers & letters read and had refreshments daintily served. I am astonished that so few take an interest in these things. Sister Fox Dr. Shipp and Sister Mc’Donald each did well. chocolate cakes, apples, banana| . . |s grapes etc. very dainty repast. [p. 364] {p. 314}