Geo. Q. stayed all night with me as he showed signs of incipient croup. It was my first night in the house. I slept very little but was not afraid. sat up reading and thinking all things over, until three A.M. What changes what horrors there have been. May the letter George Q. Cannon wrote to John Q. be fulfilled to the utmost is my prayer.¹ If so we shall be blest indeed. The day has been rather tedious. Sister Howard, Dr. Pratt and others have called in. My husband came to call also. He had some private conversation with Annie I spent the evening and part of the night in his room as I could not stay until daylight while we are under the ban of the Law. [p. 85] {p. 88}

Went down late thus escaping some disagreeable calls. Have had some pleasant people in however. Went down to the house and found such vandalism going on outside A young woman came who wanted to rent it. The poster is up in front Westerfield & Crismon. O how sad some one had taken up my rosebushes and carried them away. I have been very low-spirited today for what reason I know not. Ort came and gave me a pair of kid gloves. Sister Sarah G. [Griffith] Richards sent me a pair of white kid gloves. Lydia Ann has been in to see me, and this evening I made a call at the Juvenile Office then came up to Mells to stay over night [p. 86] {p. 89}

Today is very stormy and disagreeable. Meeting in the 14th Ward this afternoon. Lydia Ann & I have talked about a party for Sister [Rachel Ivins] Grant on her birthday. Have been writing and preparing copy for the paper as well as waiting on every one who has been in. Sent off papers to Belle. Do not yet feel at all settled in the new place, “Behind the Wall.” Have heard the Esquire was not well. Wind and storm so fierce Annie came up and Verona and I drove down, blew fiercely Will came home from Idaho looking very well indeed. Mell seemed delighted to see him. Annie bought a handsome book for Talulah [blank space] I gave her “Through The Year.” Very nicely bound. I went down with Annie so late in the storm. John Q. had been out with Pirate in [p. 87] {p. 90} the worst part of the wind & pelting snow.

Talulah is 27. today I stayed at Annie’s all day in the parlor, writing an article for the Deseret News about the International Council.² At evening we had a nice visit. Geo. Q. Louise and Margaret all recited pieces. John Q. went to the Ward meeting. It was a very miserable day as far as weather was concerned. But I had a sort of rest or at least change and that was what I needed very much: finished my letter to Belle which had been commenced on my birthday and wrote to Susan B. Anthony. on an important matter. We sat up late talking and had a nice lunch in the parlor– Dear Annie so sweet and tender of me. [p. 88] {p. 91}

Drove up town with Herman stormed a little. Was wanted very great deal before I came but set to work immediately. Had forgotten it was the day of Hospital Board Meeting. Prepared my report Bishop Clawson could not attend on account of business with the Legislature. We went and talked over matters, went over the house and visited the patients. Dr. Pratt brought me home in her buggy. O how the past comes up to me as it draws near the time when my heart was so wrought upon last year. I cannot scarcely endure it. In the evening went up to Mell’s and had a nice dinner. I cannot feel as though she were going away so very soon. Have decided to have a party for Sister <Grant> [p. 89] {p. 92}

Have been sending out a lot of invitations to the sisters today to come tomorrow to Sister Grant’s. How much anxiety I have taken on myself even about this party. I do not mean to do the same again. It does seem sort of ridiculous. Lydia Ann too is doing a large share. It is stormy again too– bad weather. I have been past the house today Ellen went down and brought away the brass hooks on the up-stairs doors and the little hooks that the rods slip into on the stairs, There is not much left now, but it saddens me to see how desolate the place looks. Went up to Mell’s and slept wrote some and talked some, had a dreadful night and felt very bad in the midnight hours. did not sleep until 4. [p. 90] {p. 93}

All day reading proof and finishing copy. Ladies coming in on their way and teasing me to go. Aunt Zina gave me as a birthday gift a heavy frame for her picture and I received one or two congratulatory letters I went out in the buggy a little while with Annie I was very low in spirits. dressed in my black silk and Annie took me in the buggy to the party at about 6 or 1/2 past. I had sent over some oranges previously as it was a pic-nic– Found a large company assembled. Br. Erastus Snow, Daniel H. Wells Franklin D. Richards, F. [Francis] M. Lyman, H. J. Grant and many ladies, after I came Brigham Young and John Henry Smith– Br. Geo. Goddard [p. 91] {p. 94}

<Came down early.> It was a wonderful gathering for these times. Bishop [Millen] Atwood Nelson Empey and George H. Taylor were the other brethren and, the ladies were Sisters Grant the hostess in whose honor we assembled. Sister E. H. Goddard, Ann [Olpin] Woolley, M. I. Horne, Z. D. H. Young, E. Howard B. W. Smith, H. M. [Hannah Free] Wells M. G. [Martha Givens] Wells, L. A. [Lydia Ann Alley] Wells, Jane S. Richards Relief [Cram] Atwood, Lucy [Stringham] Grant, Henriette Grant [Rosetta Henrietta Grant Marshall] [blank space] and I think I was the last one of the ladies. Emily D. P. [Dow Partridge] Young This is Mr. Sears birthday. Brigham [B. Young] sung last night “A poor wayfaring man of grief.” and at the close Doxology. Speeches were made by D. [Daniel] H. Wells, F. [Franklin] D. Richards, Geo. Goddard, M. Atwood, B. Young [Brigham Young Jr.], F. M. Lyman John Henry Smith and H. [Heber] J. Grant. Went up to Mell’s late. [p. 92] {p. 95}

Came down late went to the News Office first. Have had a nervous day. Nothing in particular but mud. The old Emperor of Germany William died this morning at 8.30– He was 91. years old. It will no doubt make a great change in the country there if not in all Europe. It is a very wonderful thing on account of prophecy. Sarah Jane Cannon gave me yesterday an elegant French china cup and saucer and Sister Stevenson a handsome white silk handkerchief, today I received from Belle’s children an elegant hair ornament of pure amber. Stayed late at my house writing. Very lonely indeed, no one to speak to only thoughts of the past [p. 93] {p. 96}

Another busy day and at evening the sisters were in my Office several at least gathered there <six of us> and we were counseling and querying over Credentials to go to the International Council– for the ladies of our people who are now in Washington. Mrs. Margaret [Nightingale] Caine wife of the Delegate from Utah, Mrs. Emily S. [Sophia Tanner] Richards wife of Hon. F. [Franklin] S. Richards Attorney for the Church in Washington and Mrs. Luella [Cobb] Young wife of John W. Young, and Mrs. Nettie [Jeanette] Young Snell– These ladies are all capable and good looking but I have no faith whatever in their getting an opportunity to speak in the way that is expected. It is quite improbable– However it may be accomplished with [p. 94] {p. 97} money and wire pulling.

We were very late last night 1/2 past 12. midnight breaking up. One can see a great deal of humbug when it comes to official signatures. Now that Aunt Eliza is dead and the Central organization of the Relief Society broken up– there is so much talk about who is who, and what is proper and correct and so on, that it is laughable if one was inclined to be humorous on such a subject. Aunt Zina was to meet me at 4 o’clock or after the meeting in the Tabernacle, but failed & Annie came for me to go to the farm. We drove over to Mrs. Beattie’s and <found> she had gone to Farmington. So I went down with Annie leaving the credentials in the office etc. [p. 95] {p. 98}

All day fussing over these credentials. Sisters Jane S. Richards and E. Howard returned from Tooele where they had been attending the Conference of the R.S.Y.L. & P.A.³ of that Stake. Sister Richards went with me to the Historian’s Office to see her husband⁴ as he had been the active party in getting the sisters to prepare Credentials and therefore we looked to him, to know how to arrange the matter in harmony with all parties, interested in the representation to be made in the Council of Women at the Capitol. After much consideration the copy was returned to me with more explicit instructions and I went to work again to effect the matter in hand. [p. 96] {p. 99}

Today is Frankie Wells birthday. How changed everything is since she was a child. Then she was looked upon as the chief among the girls and especially on her birthdays, she gave presents to the others. It is not well to dwell upon unpleasant remembrances but I recall at this moment one of her birthdays in particular when she gave to each of the little girls a yellow calico dress, (she was very fond of yellow) and mine were all left out. I felt it intensely and wondered at it more on account of Emma [Whitney Wells] who could not in any justice be counted out.

All day I have been steadily working except a few hours my husband spent here. [p. 97] {p. 100}

At 4 o’clock yesterday my husband with his son Joseph S. and his intended wife Anna Sears went to Logan where they will be married today. She is a sweet amiable young woman and a good Latter Day Saint. She is sister to Belle’s husband. The marriage is a love marriage and yet they are both firmly rooted and grounded in the principles of the Gospel. Annie joins with the girls in buying a china tea set and silver spoons and I have purchased a silver cream spoon with a monogram S. W.⁵ on it. Still working away at the Credentials and trying to get them to suit all. Went for Br. [John M.] Whittaker to put them in type writing. He brought them at 10. o’clock. [p. 98] {p. 101}

Today is the Sister’s Conference. Aunt Zina has been here all the morning, and has signed the papers. Dr. Pratt came and we went to Sister Kimballs. She signed and then the Dr. Then we took them round for Sister Horne who signed also Bathsheba <Smith> and E. S. Taylor then M. Y. Dougall then Elizabeth Howard then myself last & Jane S. Richards above Sister B. W. Smith– Sisters Howard and Aunt Zina to help with the ribbons and the seals and we finished at last and Br. F. D. Richards carried them off, and next morning took them to the depot and they went on their way. I went to the reception which was quite an elaborate affair [p. 99] {p. 102}

This is the birthday of Sister Hannah T. King a very dear friend of mine who died in September 1886 I have often dreamed of her since her death. I called on her daughter Mrs. C. [Claudius] V. Spencer [Louisa King Spencer] today and went across to my dear old place. How sad it seems to be separated from my home and its surroundings. My heart is almost broken. I gave Jode [Joseph S. Wells] & Annie [Sears Wells] a silver cream spoon oxydized– it was a very handsome thing. So many memories have been recalled by this day I can scarcely keep my senses. I went down to Annie’s at evening and took with me a wedding present for her; only think of eight years ago how happy we were then. How sad we are now! [p. 100] {p. 103}

This morning I gave the Sugar tongs I had bought to Annie at the breakfast table. The monogram showed C. & W.⁶ I felt somewhat embarrassed as nothing was said although Annie had bought a present for John Q. What a sad day it does seem! Everything <is> so changed! A wedding day indeed how dreadful I worked all day long have had lots of people in and some strangers. It is Sister E. H. Goddards birthday she is Seventy one I think. How long I have known her! I went and purchased a little book for her. a trifle and yet I love her very much and I went down there with it and handed it to her myself. then drove down to Annie’s. [p. 101] {p. 104}

Stayed all day at the Farm. We were in the parlor all day long. I was busy doing some writing or trying. I have to prepare some Credentials to go down to the National Woman Suffrage Convention at Washington to be held on the 3 & 4 of April. I have rather more faith in the Mormon Sisters being allowed to make a report there than at the International Council.

I have so many things on my mind to do that it seems hard to choose between them. Q. went to Sunday School this morn. came home feeling very unwell. Sore throat and so on. John Q. went to Ward Meeting and Annie & I were alone and talked over many things of the times in which we are living and of the past scenes. [p. 102] {p. 105}

<sent a letter to Emily S. Richards tonight to Washington D.C.> Came up and found Aunt Zina & Sister Jane S. Richards had been after me both yesterday and this morning. I went to work and prepared the Credentials and Br. Whittaker called and after having had them approved he took them away to copy in type writing. I feel even better satisfied with them than with the others as I have had more my own way. I am sorry not to be able to do all myself as I please but it is not possible. I took them up to the Office Sister Jane S. Richards was with me and we did nicely. The Ribbons & gold colored stamps were very pretty. [p. 103] {p. 106}

Yesterday I ought to have kept an engagement with the 8th Ward Primary Ass’n but could not on account of my work. Still I feel I have accomplished something Sister Jane S. Richards has been here and we have finished the Credentials and they are signed and we have so much done. I took them to Aunt Zina and she has gone to Logan but Phebe signed for her and we have had Sisters Horne Kimball & Pratt also and they are nearly ready I have had a fire in the North East Room all day and have been engaged in writing and doing what seemed most necessary. Erastus W. Snow died today. Minerva’s oldest boy. How sad it seems I know how sad and yet her husband⁷ was <there> [p. 104] {p. 107}

Herbert Whitney Sears was born on this day seventeen years ago he would have been that age today had he lived. A most remarkable and precocious child he was. How stormy on his birthday. Well the credentials went off today so it seems. I have been with Sister Howard to Sister Snow’s but could not go in on account of my sensitiveness about death. My feelings are too tender for any words to express my condition. I am so glad the credentials are gone. Lydia Ann tells me that Ort has asked for May [Mary M. Wells] and then not come to see her about any reconciliation [p. 105] {p. 108}

This is another memorable day Carrie Granger’s birthday and also Mrs. Elizabeth [Hughes] Paul’s who is 55 today. I was invited to a party in the 10th Ward with several other sisters but the day is unfavorable for me in more ways than one. It is my revise and also the funeral of Br. E. W. Snow Minerva’s son. Pres. A. [Arthur] K. Thurber of Sevier Stake is dead– He was an exile for his belief and practise. Sister Howard came up and went to the funeral in the 18th. Ward Chapel and afterwards to the 10th Ward reunion I went up late.⁸ Annie had been to Mrs. [Mary Ellen Richards] Webbers Kettle Drum⁹ and to Netts dinner for her sisters later. I went home with her late. Drove down by moonlight– [p. 106] {p. 109}

I think this is Annie Sears [Wells] birthday she is 21. I guess. I am not sure however. I went down in the wind storm with Verona and purchased a gift for Harry Culmer a Parian Marble bust of Goethe– It is such a disagreeable day dust and wind and my head aches. Mell went to the Club and gave a topic on Theatres of England. I did not see her and at night went down to Annie’s Sister Sarah Jane [Jenne] Cannon gave me a Calla Lilly this week very beautiful one indeed. It is nice to be remembered by one’s friends but I am not at all fond of inquisitive people who pry into affairs which do not concern <them> [p. 107] {p. 110}

Have had a letter from Belle. Mary Ellen [Able] Kimball has been in with a letter from Mrs. A Clark of Pawtucket R. I. saying Emily Pfeilffer [Davis Pfeiffer] was dead I have not heard it before. I have been busy today and upset too for I was writing a letter to the Salt Lake Herald about the International Council and Annie went up for a Doctor to Geo. Q. still I did finish my article– went to Dr. [Joseph S.] Richards and inquired about Q.’s throat and sent off my manuscript about six in the evening. then as my husband had been in during the day soliciting an interview I went up to him to his room and had a sweet interview with him. until about one A.M. [p. 108] {p. 111}

It is one year ago today since I had all my teeth extracted and I was almost distracted before that with neuralgia I slept at Mell’s and had breakfast and about 12. or one Herman came to take me to the farm. Q. was not well, but I only remained a few minutes and drove over to Sister Winters where I was to dine with Nina & the family. Had an excellent dinner Mell & Will & Verona also Ellen were invited guests as well as myself– After dark John Q. came for me and we spent a pleasant evening in Annie’s parlor– talking etc. How many things there are transpiring now to make our lives sad It is nearing the time of my sadness last year Lula Greene Richards had a daughter¹⁰ born to day but [p. 109] {p. 112} only lived eight hours.

I have been sad and busy both[.] came up with Annie this morning. She stayed waiting upon me and doing errands. Little Q. was not well and we both felt very anxious about him. Annie is not very well and her circumstances are anything but agreeable at present. God is our only refuge now. It seems to me all human power had failed us. My darlings whom I treasured so what suffering they have had to endure. Life has been to them full of perplexity and sorrow. I worked very steadily at the mailing this afternoon and had lots of hindrances. Saw a notice of the Council in Washington,¹¹ feel very sorry I did not make an exertion to go down and to be present [p. 110] {p. 113}

It is Martha [Givens Harris] Wells birthday and I am so busy I scarcely know how to be detained a minute. finished the mailing and did some other necessary work. Went down town and selected a present for Martha and for Kate whose birthday comes tomorrow In the evening went up to the 12th Ward house and saw my husband there much to my astonishment– also saw Emily [Wells Grant] and baby.¹² Gave Martha a purse and little book of Remembrance– stayed only a few minutes, went round to Mells and spent the evening– Verona and myself sat up and talked long after the others were in bed. She told me some of her experiences with unpleasant occurrences in the house [p. 111] {p. 114}

This morning early went up to see Lula Greene Richards and staid an hour or more in her room conversing with her and then went to see Sister Sarah G. Richards and talked with her a couple of hours or more. She told me many things concerning her English home and the associations of her life before Mormonism came. I went to the Relief Society meeting in the 13th Ward and spoke for about 20. minutes to the sisters. Today’s telegrams state that Mrs. F. S. Richards spoke in the International Council at Washington– Kate’s birthday and she has had presents from Belle a Chinese crape scarf lovely red. Gold ring Mell Annie an olive wood & silk fan & hand glass from me. [p. 112] {p. 115}

Sent off little books as Easter Gifts to Sisters [Emily Leywood] Monk, [Lucretia Howard] Arrowsmith, [Minerva Woods] Kelting & [Linda Coombs] Penniman I have been especially busy but felt worried about Annie as I heard she was sick with sore throat. I walked down past my dear precious garden, how sad it is to think of its being in other hands. Ort was here some hours this afternoon. Miss Cook came Sister Jane S. Richards, Sister Minerva W. Snow and others Ort had a long talk with me about his love affair with May and their disagreement etc. I advised him to have a reconciliation at all events, but do not know what it will amount to. Went down to Annie’s at night and found her weary and no better– throat still sore. We had a pleasant evening talking over things but she did not feel well enough to be <cheerful–> [p. 113] {p. 116}

This morning came up very late and found no mail except business and newspapers– Kate has been over talking up the same subject that interests the family at present. She says they do not expect to move this Spring now. Her father had made some statements of his affairs to her etc. Very curiously to me she wanted to confide in me about Ort & May whereas I know more than any one else of the affair and it was at my suggestion that Ort first made overtures to her. That is the way of the world so strange that we none of us know each other’s hearts. Poor Kate so sensitive about being an old maid when I feel she should be proud of her independence [p. 114] {p. 117}

This is an awful day. Wind blowing fiercely and dust filling our mouths and eyes. Went to the 14th Ward meeting with dust in my face. Spoke to the sisters about 15 minutes. There was not a very good attendance but quite a good meeting. Came down to the Farm Annie is very ill but I felt I must come and see her I have been down every night recently. Dear sweet Annie she is so lonely and I am the only one to depend upon. O if I could only rest in mind and body and become invigorated how glad I should be. Children are all pretty well, brought down Easter Cards for all the family even Louise [p. 115] {p. 118}