Such a day of confusion Verona is not well and I have so little time to help her in making things agreeable and pleasant. I am nervous and my work is all behind-hand and when I would like to do her good I am not able because my attention is always called in another direction. How strangely things happen in this world, there have been times when I could have enjoyed this visit with Verona and baby and would have been able to do her good but now, all seems so changed & I am bound by a hundred promises and ties that keep me from doing that which I would like for my darling ones. [p. 237] {p. 237}

So busy Mrs. [Christiana Millis] Foote of South Bend. Ind. & Georgie Clawson Foote and two children with her called also. Then a whole lot of strangers tho’ they seemed to be very much interested. Mr. [J. H. E.] Webster came in and brought Dr. Williams who is having the History of Utah written by Ort. He is a very clever man I think. Sister Minerva Snow came to see me & first one and then another embarrassing to have so many at once and have to talk before them all. The day was hot but the evening was much cooler and one feels more like writing. I have so many things on hand & none of them finished. I begin to feel I must accomplish something to leave on record. Frank [J. Cannon] came in and invited Daisie & Verona up there tomorrow and I think they will go– [p. 238] {p. 238} spent the night with my husband in his room.

Today I have been busy writing notes etc. sent one to Sarah Kienke one to Sister [Martha Youlton] Greenhalgh and a letter to Septimus my eldest grandson to St. Louis and one to Sister S. A. [Sarah Ann Sweetland] Rawle of Morgan and to Sister Mary E. Taylor of Harrisville and several copies of the paper to different ones. Charlie Johnson called and Daisie sung for him several songs. I went to dine at Joseph Wells. He and his wife Annie are in their new home– The Esquire and all his wives were there Martha, Lydia Ann, Susan, Hannah & myself– had a very good dinner enjoyed the afternoon very much indeed. Talulah Young brought baby Hillard a silver spoon engraved “Louie.” Daisie & Verona dined with the girls at their old home Louisa [Free Wells]’s girls. Mr. & Mrs. [John and Sophronia Yates] Dull called this evening. [p. 239] {p. 239}

Election day for County officers and the People’s Party have adopted the Workingmen’s ticket as against the Liberals. It will be a sharp fight. Mrs. Mary J. Holmes called and spent a couple of hours this morning, she has been in Egypt since I saw her last. While she was here the Reve W. M. Lane of the Episcopal Church came in and Miss Gertrude Dull. We had such a pleasant time with Mrs. Holmes I think her much improved since she went abroad. Verona did not get off today as she expected & Nett[,] Em. Ellerbeck and others have been in to see her. Sister Richards came and talked of our trip to Iron Co. Daisie went to the theatre tonight and Verona & I stayed here alone late she went to bed and I heard the carousal begin, saw the fires lighting the streets, and the shouting and cannons & drums of the liberals were deafening. [p. 240] {p. 240}

Today has been all hurry and bustle, Verona determined to go home and I felt I must go part of the way with her. We took the afternoon train at 5 p.m. and at Ogden saw Annie and the children <in the carriage>, procured berths for us and left there about 20 minutes to seven. Baby Helen was very good and seemed so sweet tho’ she coughed considerably I could not help thinking of the time when I went part of the way with my darling Louie, it seemed so sad to be going off with her alone and not knowing when we should meet again. She was very independent and that made me more sorrowful. At last the car was quiet and we concluded to retire, I held the sweet baby while Verona pu[rc]hased food etc. for the night. [p. 241] {p. 241}

About 2 in the morning we were awakened to dress & prepare to change cars. I helped Verona and baby all I could and at 3 A.M. she went on the other train. I went on into the sleeper with her and bade her good bye as I did Louie three years before. I ascertained that she would have to change again at 2 the next A.M. which made me feel still worse. The parting was very sad and I felt it keenly. Went into the hotel parlor at Pocatello waited there for breakfast and at 10 A.M. hot as could be, left for Ogden. Changed cars there but did not see any one and came down home arriving at 7 p.m. or after. Prepared copy for the girls wrote nearly all night and made some arrangements for going away– South. [p. 242] {p. 242}

This morning made further preparations. Daisie had gone to Park City yesterday; so I was quite alone except the servants. Sister Jane S. Richards with whom I was to travel came and also Susie [Susan Woodruff] Scholes Pres. Woodruff’s daughter & Sister Jane [Maria Shearer] Snow from Panguitch. There were so many hindrances and so much to get ready before starting on such a long journey. We went off at last by the 4 o’clock train and had a pleasant ride on the cars saw Sister Pitchforth at Nephi, and soon after we went to bed, but not to sleep– The train was very unsteady and there was no such thing as resting. Sister Richards talked all night and we kept each other company¹ [p. 243] {p. 243}

After a restless night we reached Milford two hours late and found carriage and horses waiting. Our companion and driver was Br. Mayhew [H.] Dalley who is the Principal of the Stake Academy at Cedar City. We breakfasted at the hotel and started immediately on our journey, reaching Minersville about 11 o’clock where we fed our horses, and lunched at Br. [James R.] McKnight’s. Called on Sister [Mary Rollins] Lightner & saw several others, pursued our way in the afternoon, a tiresome road, flat and uninteresting until we neared our destination when the red mountains made a pleasing variety. At Rush Lake we had fresh horses sent out for us and at nine p.m. we arrived in Cedar City and went to Br. & Sister [Richard R. and Jane Cusson] Birkbeck’s and several sisters were <there to meet us.> [p. 244] {p. 244}

The next morning we held meeting at Cedar with the Relief Society, it is a very picturesque place and we enjoyed the few hours we stayed very much indeed. Drove on after lunch to Parowan and encountered a fearful storm of wind dust, stopped at Summit for a few minutes, to see the [Mayhew H. and Lenora MacFarland] Dalleys, and tried to reach in time for our appointment but alas, the wind and dust kept us at bay, and when we arrived it seemed impossible to make ourselves presentable. At last we walked into the meeting house and for a time listened to the exercises of the children. It was a beautiful sight to see so many intelligent faces, and hear their sweet voices in song and praise and prayer. [p. 245] {p. 245}

Sister Richards and I had a nice room at Sister [Phoebe Forrester] Benson’s and I sat up writing until nearly morning. We went to the Conference at 10. A.M. and we both spoke a short time in the forenoon. At noon we went to Morgan Richards where we dined with many of the brethren and sisters. In the afternoon I spoke at some length upon the higher education and advancement of women, and equal rights of citizenship. After meeting we went to administer to a sick woman, and then to Sister Mitchell’s to supper. Afterwards drove over to Paragoonah with Br. Rufus Clark, & held meeting there, slept at Sister [Eliza Anderson] Barton’s had a very nice bed and slept comfortable. [p. 246] {p. 246}

Next morning went on to Beaver with Br. [Edward] Ward of Parowan, he was excellent company, his daughter Claude [Claudia Ward] was with him. We rested at Buckhorn Springs where the Eyre’s live and the girls sung for us. We then pursued our journey arriving in Beaver about 4. p.m. drove directly to Pres. J. [John] R. Murdocks and rested there, had supper and went to the meeting of which the appointment had been given out. We had an excellent meeting, full house and attentive hearers. Here again I occupied the most of the time, and felt blest in so doing. We slept at Br. Murdocks and, had a very handsome sleeping room. Sister [Mary Bigler] Tanner a daughter of Jacob Bigler’s was there with a sick baby and her husband² [p. 247] {p. 247}

Drove from Beaver to Minersville today– Frederic Eddie Bennett and Sister Lucinda [Morgan] Houd [Howd] in company she is the Pres. of the R.S.³ of Beaver Stake, the two Presidents of the first and second ward also came, R. W. [Ruth Welton] Tyler and M. J. [Jane Walton] Bickley– We had the most pleasant ride we have had at all. Just rain enough to make the roads good and the sun not very bright, so we did not suffer from heat. Dined at Mother [Elizabeth Van Benthusen] Gilbert’s and Mary E. Lightner’s and went from there to meeting. Sister Rebecca [Hopkins] Eyre’s presiding, quite a nice congregation and a good feeling– enjoyed speaking to them very much indeed, Sister Richards waked the people up about sustaining the Exponent. After meeting we had a buggy to take us to Milford & Freddie Gillies was our driver. A heavy wind storm seemed inevitable. [p. 248] {p. 248}

This morning Sister Richards and myself breakfasted at Provo and after that the time seemed short until we reached home; the rain last night had refreshed the grass and foliage and nature looked its loveliest as we flew rapidly along. Arrived at home, each went her separate way, so very strange no one to greet me of all mine own. Letters and papers in abundance awaiting me but none from my own dear ones. Sister Richards came in afterwards and said she had had news from Ogden. Maybel [Mabel C. Richards] was worse, I felt very sorry for her. Strangers in abundance flocked in to make inquiries. A letter from Will stated that the diphtheria was in Osburn [Idaho] and Verona & baby had stopped off at Wardner [Idaho]. It was sorrowful to me– Nett May & Lydia Ann also C. C. Raleigh have been in and many others– [p. 249] {p. 249}

This morning I commenced work in earnest, soon after my husband came and some ladies, who wished to see him, they had the parlor for consultation. Then some ladies from Denver called upon me and we had such a pleasant chat. They had heard of me through Mrs. Walmesly who called on me in May– One of them sung and another one played for me, the song was one of my darling Louie’s and I had never heard it since she sung it until now. Later in the day I had several callers strangers and so forth & in the evening my husband who spent the time in going over poems with me, and the History of Rome illustrated. We had such a cosy evening no interruptions. retired late. [p. 250] {p. 250}

The morning was dark and cloudy, and we were late in rising, but passed a quiet forenoon together. Last night we talked much of the past, my own past particularly, and its painful experiences. I am busy making up the paper, and the day is dark and gloomy, the rain falls in soft sprinkles every now and then. I’ve been thinking so much of Verona and her baby, and how sad I felt when I left her. No news today of any of my loved ones. June is very ill, Malaria Jim [James] E. Caine is dead. His father⁴ is expected from Washington to attend the funeral. Daisie has not returned from Park City. A gloomy evening for me, so accustomed to company and music etc. Diphtheria is in the 20th Ward. [p. 251] {p. 251}

This morning I rose early could not sleep for some reason, paper went to press. and I read the copy off. Went out to do some errands and shortly after some strangers came, then Sister Howard and soon Ort came with pale face and nervous excitement– saying he had bad news– [first and last names redacted] had shot himself– How terrible I went as soon as possible to his mother,⁵ and was there with her several hours. Her grief was quiet but deep and hard to suffer. Her thoughts were most for Latie [Vilate Whitney Groo]. She bore up wonderfully herself– Ria [Maria Young] Dougall’s little girl (Terese [Teresa Dougall]) died between one & two this morning of gastric fever a beautiful child About ten at night the sexton brought [first name redacted] home, it was a sad thing [p. 252] {p. 252} and yet a comfort.

This morning I went to see Sister Horne finished a letter to Verona and wrote one to Belle & Annie, after wards called on Sister Smith sent a note to Sister E. S. Taylor by a messenger– went to the Post Office for my mail. Then went down to Mary Jane’s and was there when Br. Groo and Vilate arrived. It was a terrible ordeal for the afflicted ones. Agonizing in the extreme. Eliza [Lyons Groo] and two of her daughters⁶ were there also her boy John [L. Groo] and Rose [Rosita Groo] and two children and Samuel Groo and two Woolley boys⁷ sons-in-law of Eliza’s It has been a fine day. Mr. Groo wants John Nicholson to speak and he wants the Esquire, and Bishop Whitney, came home very late. Daisie did not <come home much to my annoyance> [p. 253] {p. 253}

This morning Br. Nicholson came in to speak to me he is a fine man with a philosophical mind, he is not well at all and is going to Soda Springs to rest for a week or so. I sent for a Basket of flowers for [first and last names redacted]– and made every preparation to go to the funeral, had to leave all at home (mailing, etc.) and Daisie did not come. Bishop O. F. Whitney and my husband both spoke at the funeral and it was very comforting indeed, I rode up to the graveyard with Ort and Zine and Helen– such a sad scene and it was Mell’s birthday 40 years since she was born, & O, how many changes since then. Deaths, and privations, loneliness and neglects and all the trying ordeals that fall to the lot of mortals. Daisie came from Park City tonight. [p. 254] {p. 254}

This is an anniversary too the birth of Inez Earl Godbe she is quite a beautiful woman– I remember well when she was born, 38 years ago just before I was married to my present husband. I was teaching then in the 12th, ward in this City in the log school-house. Today I have been very busy mailing, letters from Aunt Zina & my sister Ellen [Woodward Fuller] and others. Went with Daisie down town had selected a napkin ring for Mell yesterday and had it engraved. Daisie bought olive fork and tea strainer in silver– She went down to Mary Jane’s and I came home alone. Ort. came in on his way from the train and spoke of taking the girls to Provo Daisie and Libbie [Pegan] for an out. Wrote to Sister Pitchforth tonight and Sister Rebecca Standring Ort has been in to comfort me. [p. 255] {p. 255}

Today has been busy and O so very warm. I have been getting on a little with my mailing and some copy too, Daisie is looking for Libbie to come and has been writing letters to John [Critchlow], her father and mother. At evening Daisie and I went up to June’s & then over the hill to her old home and saw Emeline and Lyde– came home on the cars and read some in the book by Harry Drummond “The Greatest thing in the World.” She will probably not be here very much longer and it will be lonely then– but I shall go back to the old ways of amusing myself with reading, and writing and composing of which I have done but little since she came, and none while Verona was here. [p. 256] {p. 256}

Today while in the midst of hurry my husband came and we had quite a pleasant interview and he told me he should go away on Monday next to Manti Several people came in to see me and meantime had the opportunity of seeing him. We arranged everything for him to come when he could to stay here. Ort has been in again several times, no news from our loved but absent ones. Suppose Mell is on her way home by this time will go by way of Portland. In the evening Daisie and I went down to the depot thinking to meet Libbie– Daisie twice and I once but she did not come. Then we went and telephoned to Park City and got no satisfaction and then we went down to the Post Office to see if there was a letter from her. [p. 257] {p. 257}

This morning Libbie came and the proposed visit to Provo was settled upon– Daisie and Libbie went out shopping and then came in and had lunch and soon came Dr. Williams & Ort and they packed off– When they were gone I began to make ready for Ogden but so many things came up to hinder me that it was not possible to take the five o’clock train, and I felt quite upset– Went to the 1/2 past seven train and then was delayed about an hour in the depot and after we were on board. Arrived at Annie’s at 10 p.m. We sat up late talking over all the affairs of the family & the present situation of the Church and then had lunch and separated for the night. Annie seems quite happy & contented– [p. 258] {p. 258}

This morning I breakfasted with Annie and the children, afterwards had a talk with Sister Jane Richards through the telephone. John Q. got up and Annie ordered the carriage and we drove to the train. The Union Pacific was not ready so I went on the D. & R. G. and we pulled out & then backed up and so on several times until learning there was a cause for the delay I got off and went up to see Mrs. Richards, she came part way to the train and I came on down home arriving safe at home about one o’clock. Daisie Libbie and Ort were here & having lunch when I came in. Then the girls went to the Lake. I learned my husband had been here all night and had just left when I came. The two girls after coming from the Lake went to the Theatre with Dr. Gregor. Libbie’s beau [p. 259] {p. 259}

This morning I felt very weary because of having had a restless nervous night, however as I had slept in the parlor on account of Libbie being here, it was necessary I should get up. After awhile Mary Jane, Lati, & Ort came and had lunch with us, and then Dr. Gregor called with the carriage to take the girls out riding; and they were out for some time, then Libbie started for the 5 o’clock train. Mrs. S. M. [Sarah M. Terry] White called on me to ask advice about acting as business manager for the “Young Ladies’ Journal,” and Eva Young came to see my husband on Temple work. He met the daughter of an old friend at the door of the Tabernacle and this evening has gone to call upon her at the Walker House. I have had a very peculiar day, and am somewhat strangely impressed to night– [p. 260] {p. 260}

Felt very low-spirited, Daisie is preparing to go home, bought her a new trunk today and commenced packing tonight. It makes me feel very sober indeed and I scarcely know how to interpret all my feelings and peculiar emotions. Abbie called this morning and told me that my husband was disappointed in going to the Walker House last night and so did not come to see me as I expected. The boys kept the buggy and he had no way of going to make the call nor to come here either, as he is not able to walk this far even. Tonight Daisie went to theatre to see the “Old Homestead” and I was alone so went up to Lydia Ann’s. It is kind of sad to think of Daisie going away after having her here so long. My husband left for Manti this morning and I had not seen him to say good<bye> [p. 261] {p. 261} except at Martha’s on Sunday afternoon.

The time draws near for Daisie to go. She has been getting all her packing and errands done, and this evening Johnson came and helped Joe to lock her trunk. Arthur Critchlow came and took her a ride & she called on Dr. Bascombe and lunched there and then she went to pay Eliza Groo & Dr. Douglas Verona’s bills and came home so tired and had to finish packing. Such a change from no one and then so many to no one again. And how I am going to bear it I know not. I am in doubt and perplexity & know not how things will turn with me, but I know that tomorrow Daisie leaves me for good. Tonight I had a letter from Verona saying she was well and her trunk had come; it had been put off at Logan– [p. 262] {p. 262}

This morning is an anniversary sad indeed. Louie was born just as daylight peeped over the hills. Daisie left to go home and I went as far as Ogden. When we arrived Annie had gone with Q. & Daniel came to the city, so we contented ourselves as best we might and went out for a ride in the carriage taking Louise & Margaret with us. We telephoned Annie to come up on the half past one train, which she did and arrived just about 3 o’clock. We took a little ride and I came to the train bade Daisie Good Bye there and left her with Annie who would see her on the train. Came home very lonely and sat up writing until two in the morning– finished the manuscript of Hephzibah. Annie had literally covered Louie’s grave with flowers– [p. 263] {p. 263}

Today I worked hard over my proofs and wrote my editorial also letters to agents etc. At evening I went to the graveyard and my whole soul was full of agonizing grief. I stayed there some time and went round among the graves of those I had dearly loved– the sun was setting over the Great Salt Lake & the picture was one never to be forgotten by me as I came out from the silent city. After I came home Ort came in to see me and we read together The Greatest Thing in the World. by Henry Drummond– when he went away I wrote a letter to my husband– and then read awhile in the Romance of Two Worlds. I slept much better than for some nights before– my mind is much disturbed, and my spirits downcast– [p. 264] {p. 264}

I dreaded this day and yet in the morning I felt better than I had expected. The girls are busy with proofs and I am busy too correcting etc. A letter for Daisie from John and I have forwarded it to Murray. I think she is at home to night I do most sincerely hope so. The weather is very hot & I am not very well, Sister Minerva Snow has been to see me and is going to Manti tomorrow. I wrote to my Sister Ellen today, and to the post master at Logan– paper for Sept. l. is made up and will go to press tomorrow. Called on the Wells girls at my daughter Mell’s old home tonight and also at June’s, Came home met Ort and he came in and poured out his heart to me in tones of bitterness. Why is it that I am the recipient of so many confidences from others. [p. 265] {p. 265}

This morning was very dark & a storm impending it hung heavily over the City and it was scarcely possible to work in the type room. I called on Sister Horne a few minutes also saw one or two others. Read my revise copy off the press. Made preparations to go to Ogden– the storm came on furiously and I went off in it to the depot, the wind had been boisterous and the rain heavy. No word from Daisie. Arrived in Ogden and walked up to Annie’s. They were out in the carriage but soon came home– and Annie seemed delighted to see me. We sat up until about one o’clock talking and then I went to bed but slept very little. Annie has not heard much from Belle of late neither have I. It seems strange as she used to write so often– everything is changed. I presume she feels Sep’s being away very much– [p. 266] {p. 266}

George Q. and Sweetie went to Sunday School before I was up– John Q. went to a meeting at 10 A.M. Annie and I were there with Daniel and Margaret– had a very early dinner and after that went out for a ride– went over so much new ground– so many new houses are being built up there. Preparations are being made to celebrate September 1. as Labor Day in Ogden– The schools are starting at the same time both there and in Salt Lake. John Q. was at home in the evening and we all went to bed rather early– it is the last day of summer and it brings peculiar reflections very– one cannot help looking back and reflecting on the summer’s work– I see that I have not composed one poem and it grieves me.– [p. 267] {p. 267}