<Zine Whitney was confined with a girl– to be called Helen> It was 1/2 past one when I reached home and Annie was quite nervous waiting for me. It is election day. and so much depends upon the results. I do feel so interested in political movements The sisters are not called upon to get in this movement but if they were we should certainly be sure of success, if the Lord intended Utah to be admitted then the women would have had the suffrage for that would have secured it. I have been very busy indeed. Aunt Zina & Sister Horne have been in to see me. [p. 237] {p. 238}

Sister Pitchforth & Sister Sarah M. Kimball called at the office we had a pleasant interview went with Sister Pitchforth to see Aunt Eliza found her quite bright and talkative. The days are excessively tedious hot and dusty and such weary work in the office listening to the opinions of so many and getting very little light on those matters which are of such importance at the present state of affairs. Life seems made up of difficulties and it takes a vast amount of patience to overcome and surmount them one after another. [p. 238] {p. 239}

Last evening Annie went up to see her father and he was not at home. today I have been much occupied and have been mailing, but at evening when Annie came up for me I drove to June’s and while she went in I drove round with June and we talked a little of general matters. he seems to think Br. Woodruff will nominate Jos. F. Smith as President of the Church and that things will soon assume this shape. I am not so confident It would not surprise me to see John W. Young declare himself the man. [p. 239] {p. 240}

Today I have been busy and worked hard, have invited some of my friends to spend an evening at my house once again, the dear old home where we have had so many precious interviews and seasons of happy rejoicing. Such times as these are O how hard it is for us all but especially for women in the order of plural marriage young and inexperienced how my heart aches for them. I have written so much and have also walked about until I am thoroughly exhausted, I feel too weary to sleep even [p. 240] {p. 241}

I stayed in the office until I was tired then went down home where Annie Talulah and the children were to see how they were getting along with the preparations for the evening’s entertainment. The stove was smoking dreadfully but otherwise all was going on swimmingly. The dear old house how I do love it. Sister Pitchforth arrived first. afterwards came Aunt Zina Sister Horne & Cornel Maria Dougall Sisters Barratt & Jennings, Sisters Grant & Ivins Howard Shipp and Goddard, Clawson Lydia Ann & Susan Wells Dr. Barney, Sister Howe [p. 241] {p. 242} Dr. Pratt, Sarah M. Kimball, Sister Stevenson Bathsheba W. Smith;–¹ then there were Sister E. S. Taylor, Mary A. Freeze & Lula Greene Richards that were invited but did not come.

We had ice cream & cakes & candies, homemade-wine, iced tea & lemonade. A small bouquet of flowers and tied with a knot of white ribbon for each one, also a card with a sentiment expressed suitable to the person.

The next day Saturday we were meditating upon the manifestations of power and blessing we had experiemced in the little gathering it was a sweet time. [p. 242] {p. 243}

Very weary and staid all day with Annie we went for a ride towards evening and it quite refreshed our spirits. I had intended to go up home & clear up but it seems almost impossible to accomplish all one would like to do. Orson F. Whitney the Bishop of the 18th Ward preached an extra good sermon today, he is a great favorite with the people. The birds sang sweetly around the fountain today and I could have written a poem, if I had been by myself but I am not like to be at present [p. 243] {p. 244}

This morning hurry and bustle preparations for Hospital meeting, had to walk, car went just ahead, but at last arrived heated and tired, breathless almost, found the ladies around the room anxiously waiting, Sister Zina presided and after business was over, we had refreshments served to all the ladies in honor of the Dr [Romania B. Pratt]’s birthday. She is 48 today looks still young and charming, she is very happy and that is almost beauty. The evening was an uncomfortable one with heat & dust and Annie was not at all well. So goes the time along. [p. 244] {p. 245}

This would have been Louisa [Free Wells]’s birthday, but there seems no sign of its being observed. Of course the girls will go up to the graveyard. Daisie is beginning to make preparations to go to Boston to study music at the New England Conservatory– It will be a very nice thing for her and as she has a fine voice it will pay better than some of these expenses do to cultivate where there is no talent whatever. I have had many calls today one from the Correspondent of the St. Louis Globe Democrat promised to introduce him to Aunt Eliza [p. 245] {p. 246}

Daisie went down to Annie’s to spend the day and I worked very hard in the Office such busy times with mailing and no help. Strangers come and hinder away lots of time too. Sister Sarah M. Kimball came in & we had some conversation about Nauvoo & Vilate [Murray Kimball] and so on. There has been several fearful railroad accidents East and horrible deaths. O my heart is so sad I would love to have some pleasant dreams of Louie, but all seems dreary to me, and dreams are desponding as well as my waking thoughts [p. 246] {p. 247}

[Frederick] Hopt is to be executed today. It is a terrible thing to think of. No one is to be admitted except those entitled to the privilege, or to the right more properly speaking. The crowds were gathered around the undertaker’s at evening when we drove towards home it seemed quite disgusting. We had a pleasant evening in one way, letters from Belle & Miss Scholes [Marian E. Scoles] and quite good news Charlie Earle’s [Justus Charles Earl] birthday born in 1854 & therefore 33 yet not married. It seems too long to be single yet several of our girls are single at that age & more– [p. 247] {p. 248}

This evening my husband whom I am scarce permitted to peep at has gone to spend the evening at Mell’s. He has already been there to dine with them Daisie will sing & play for him; He is very fond of this sort of thing. I am so glad he can go there even if he cannot come where I am.² I pray daily that he may be protected from his enemies. He is indeed very feeble and so much in need of comfort and society of his own family, how cruel to separate him from them. [p. 248] {p. 249}

Ort and June and half a dozen more of the boys have been in today expressing their opinions on the matters now pending. June came back afterwards and talked to me about the old home going and my tears were trickling down my face and my throat full of sobs, and yet I mastered my emotions sufficiently to make some sort of defense and come to the point even though it nearly killed me, he was kindly and I’m sure it hurt him very much as much as possible for him, O this fine sentiment that cuts into my very life. [p. 249] {p. 250}

<Feramorz Little died this morning> Went up home & washed up my dishes looked over some letters and clothing picked up my dirty clothes ready for the laundry and watered my dear Louie’s flowers & shrubs, admired my dear old garden with its shrubbrey, where the little ones have played so much in days gone by, and reveled in the memories sad and sweet of all the glorious past now gone beyond recall. Those trees if they could speak would tell of struggles sighs and tears and prayers innumerable for patience & fortitude [p. 250] {p. 251}

Annie came early last evening br[o]ught Louise & Margaret & we rode through the park and down the drive and took in all the beauty of the scenery around us. The sunset gorgeous in its splendor, the Eastern mountains purple pink and blue a glamour over them like to enchantment. I came up early this morning. Br. Littles funeral at 4 p.m. today. Some of our folks attended it my husband was there. His will is quite impartial I am told I feel very glad of that certainly, it looks more just and equitable [p. 251] {p. 252}

<Daisie spent the day with Annie> Such a hot day. Sister [Sarah Griffith] Richards spent part of the day in the office We talked quite freely upon Church matters she has her own opinions and so have I. mine are a little different to most other women. In the morning I went out of my way to avoid meeting my husband only think of it and in the afternoon again finally towards evening I came so close I was obliged to speak it was unavoidable, he wanted me to come up that evening and I said yes and thought I could arrange it, but was disappointed and had to give it up. [p. 252] {p. 253}

Today the folks went out to the Lake all the girls and boys and grandchildren and their father, Annie only took George Q. however and George Rupp the hired man came up for me and we went to the depot and there Annie took the reins and drove home. She was kind of weary and neither of us slept very well on account of some misunderstanding with John Q. It seems as if everything that ought to be cheerful is turned to depression and we can no longer feel as we did in days gone by. [p. 253] {p. 254}

This is my darling Mell’s birthday and I have only given her a black satin fan which troubles me very much indeed, as it is a bad omen to give black on any day of this sort. I was to have gone into the country but could not on account of my paper being nearly ready. Expect to see my husband this evening and then to drive down very late.

I went and found him waiting and expectant we had a little time so short it seemed when there is so much to say after such a long separation, and he is so deaf it is very awkward [p. 254] {p. 255}

<Inez [Earl Godbe] birthday sent her a handsome card. she is 36> Today I have been pondering over all that we talked of last night and can scarcely comprehend the situation of matters, the urgency necessary to make us sacrifice our homes not knowing where we shall find an abiding place. Lots of callers and very little time for meditation. Helen is still very sick though somewhat improved. Scarlet fever very near to Annies and she is really uneasy about its spreading. Margaret is delicate and would scarcely be strong enough to endure such a sickness as that Mrs. Sharp paid me quite a visit this evening [p. 255] {p. 256}

Geo. Q. was taken with the croup in the middle of the night and even the servant girl was away from home, had to call up Br. Wilbraham and send for Elder Woodbury to administer to him meantime we had used all the means at hand and prayed over him ourselves too. He grew better and early we sent for John Q. as soon as we thought he would be up. I have felt worried today but almost sure he was improving. Have had several visitors and Daisie has been in to see me. I went home quite early. [p. 256] {p. 257}

This is a day of rest but there seems not much for us. John Q. was obliged to go up town to see H. B. Clawson before he started for California and I came up with him and immediately there was a call from Br. & Sister [Julius] Debrincke who are going away East very soon. I went up to Mell’s to dinner and spent the afternoon quite agreeably. Mell took me for a ride in the park and through the drive and then home. I gave Daisie a hat of Louie’s the brown one and her coat violet cashmere with satin trimmings & [p. 257] {p. 258} cord and tassels. I have given her a ring of Louie’s with two pearls and a ruby setting. a blue silk neck handkerchief, two under shirts and two paper fans one red and one blue. gave Mell the white silk handkerchief. gave Daisie a book of Louie’s “Women In Music” and Mell one of Emma’s “Shakespeare’s Heroines”

Spent a miserable day hot and uncomfortable. Mr. John Tullidge the painter and artist buried his little boy³ today who was drowned in Jordan on Saturday afternoon. Came home early with Annie Daisie came down to see me at the house. I gave her [p. 258] {p. 259} my grey and blue bonnet I bought in Washington.

Went up very early have had lots of visitors. Sent a postal card to Belle today. Had a letter from her yesterday. The heat is almost overpowering. Took Daisie and Ellen Hitchens [Hitchings] to get ice cream. Sent out some letters to lady friends one to Sister Minerva W. Snow in Mexico. Inez Earle Godbe has been up to see me brought little Allie [Alice] and baby.⁴ She told me her mother⁵ had been very sick indeed nearly dead Louise <Troutwine> was sick and Annie took her away [p. 259] {p. 260}

<Today attended the annual meeting in the 21st Ward Primary> Yester This morning we heard that Bahl child [John Balli] was dead, and Annie has been much worried Last night she took Louise away to her Aunts. I went with John Q. to see her this morning, she was feeling better. Saw my husband on the street he wanted me to come up to his room this evening and I promised to do so. Dr. Pratt went with me to diagnose Louise’s case, she said there is nothing serious about it, she drove down to the house with me. & up to Mell’s to bid Daisie good bye but she was not there. [p. 260] {p. 261}

Last night Daisie drove down to bid Annie Good bye while I went up there. I went home and was there a little while then went up to see my husband according to appointment. I staid late we conversed upon many subjects some of them especially unpleasant to me. Today Daisie left for Boston. I dined up there with the family Will & Mell Daisie and young Mr. Critchelow⁶ Ellen Hitchens & Salina Winters & little Percival Verona was not at home I felt very sad indeed and during the entire day tears flowed freely. [p. 261] {p. 262}

This morning Ort came when I first went up into the Office and we had quite a long talk on all sorts of subjects then some strangers came Mr. & Mrs. [Herman J. and Cora] Garland from Iowa but formerly from Mass. They stayed & conversed with me for hours. In the afternoon I took them to see Aunt Eliza, and they were quite pleased with her. Went down home after my day’s mailing in the office and watered my plants and went over my dear old home and garden, with such sad & sorrowful things [p. 262] {p. 263}

<Annie & the children and I went to the grave-yard> This morning went up home and attended to all my duties at the office, felt very sad only a year ago I was so happy and thought of no shadow crossing my pathway like this. O how little we can guess of the future. Had a letter from Belle today one for her father enclosed I sent him a bouquet of lovely flowers tied with white ribbon and a card telling him it was our darlings⁷ birthday.

Miss [Frances] Lord called upon me, she had a letter of introduction from May Wright Sewall. She invited me to dine with her at the Walker house [p. 263] {p. 264}

This morning was dull and rainy cold enough for a fire in the dining room. I sat in the parlor and wrote & read afterwards and Annie went outside to tack up her vines. She fell and hurt her face awfully, and turned quite faint. Then we had dinner and J. Q. went to Ward meeting and Annie took all the children and went up with me to my dear old place, and I dressed in my black silk velvet and went to the Walker House to spend the evening with Miss Lord. We had such a nice time talking of all the <literary> people we both knew [p. 264] {p. 265}

This <today> is ten years since Brigham Young’s death, always remembered by this people. I had many callers in the morning and at noon went over to the house across the way and learned that Hannah [Wells] Abbie [Wells Young Chapin] & the children⁸ had arrived Saturday night and that Abbie was seriously ill. Lydia Ann Kate & Louis have gone to Logan. News too of the removal or taking down of the rock barn and a large manufacturing establishment is to be put there. John Q. came up for me late– [p. 265] {p. 266}

Today busy as ever Father [Samuel] Neslen is dead, also Edward Hanham Dr. Pratt came and said there would be a change soon in the Gardo House, Angus had been given notice to quit and others might soon be notified Mary Schwartz [Smith] is to go and live with Edna [Lambson Smith] if Jos. F. keeps out of the way this may do especially as it is now more than three years, by considerable.

Sister Howard came in the wind blew a perfect gale two or three runaways, Sister [Elizabeth Davis] Roundy & Sarah Jane [Jenne] Cannon and several others came to see me, some on business others without [p. 266] {p. 267}

<Went up to Hannah’s last evening saw Abbie’s two little girls> This is the last day of a very unhappy summer, even wretched and full of sorrow there seems no respite a letter received today seems a foreboding of another persecution which may be in store. I have no courage to endure any more, I spoke to John Q. when I came home. He seemed at a loss to know what to say. I did not feel well at all had attended the Relief Society in the afternoon had a good meeting, Sister Goddard and Sister [Relief Cram] Atwood both seemed much pleased with my society as well as others of the sisters. [p. 267] {p. 268}