I suppose Belle’s rent commences today. She is very tired and contriving how to arrange things with only Sep to help her and the weather so hot and oppressive for them. Dot is with me most of the time and I go up as often as I can. Mr. Sears is coming soon wants Belle to meet him in Ogden– She cannot possibly go but will see him here, which in my opinion is a very much better plan. I feel sorry that she cannot get a suitable place nearer to me, which would on many accounts be very much more pleasant and desirable, besides having been away so long she has not so many acquaintances & therefore needs me more.– [p. 243] {p. 240}

Mr. Sears is here and Belle has been in Mr. Pilcher is over the way and we would be glad if he thought more of his society, but he seems to cling wholly to Belle in spite of everything else and we cannot help it. He reads some but is not sufficiently occupied to help him or us. He will go up there tonight I think to be out of the way of election noise He will be safe enough there if he would keep in but he will not I fear, however I cannot help such things & must not worry over them– [p. 244] {p. 241}

Today is the election day for county and some territorial officers and there is such an excitement. The Liberals, Democrats & Republicans are all voting making three parties, and we feel anxious of course At evening bonfires were kindled all down the principal streets and such shouting and hurrahing and such a noise it was really almost deafening– to me it was a sort of pandemonium and I felt the old indignation come back. such as we experienced in former persecutions. Emma is here with me and fast asleep– we have no idea yet who has won but the liberals feel sure of it. [p. 245] {p. 242}

This morning I lay trying to rest and recruit after the excitement of last night. I tried to sleep in vain. Lyde called and Lucy [Rice] Clark of Farmington and Sister [Mary Ann Price] Hyde of Sanpete and so many more and the proofs were to be read the 2nd time and paper to be made up. Sep & Lyde had lunch here and so many callers & finally Lucile come & we went up to Belle’s on M. Street and I stayed and dined & Belle and I walked out together and then I came home alone & there was such terrific lightning, and sat here alone writing & thinking [p. 246] {p. 243}

Today Belle & family [p. 247] {p. 244}

This is one of the eventful days of my long and eventful life. Forty one years ago today Mell was born, whether an unlucky fate set in to cast a dark shadow over me or not who can tell at any rate I came near death but lived on and in five weeks my husband and protector¹ who seemed well and strong then passed away from earth and I was left like one in a dream– But O, such a sad awakening. Everything was changed from gentle tenderness to hard coldness. Selfishness on every hand and no bright ray to shine on my pathway at all. Life seemed hardly worth struggling for except for the babies– [p. 260] {p. 245}

Today Belle’s children decorated our graves, and Belle went up later and carried some choice flowers and laid them reverently upon the turf that covers the sacred remains of our dear ones Louie would have been 29 today, it scarcely seems possible– and how vividly it all comes back, the morning of her birth, the terrible ordeal, when life hung on such a slender thread, and the turmoil and confusion when all were huddled into one small room– I scarce remember the sorrow in the joy that followed. I lay all day like one in stupor hovering between life and death. I went up to the graveyard towards evening without a <flower but with a broken heart> [p. 269] {p. 246}

This morning Mell arrived in Ogden after an absence of three years. I am trying to get up there to meet her but fear I shall be late tomorrow. It will give her time to rest and to visit with Annie and the children. Belle is very tired and almost sick her lot seems a hard one. I cannot do much to help her in any way and nothing for her personally. She is on very good terms with Zine Whitney for which I feel particularly grateful as it is pleasant to have friends near one’s own age with whom to associate. [p. 270] {p. 247}

All day I tried to get off but it was in the afternoon before I could go. The day seemed too short for the work I had in hand Yesterday Mell sent a lady with whom she had traveled to call on me and I took her to the top of the Temple, through the grounds and to see the Tabernacle and the President’s grave etc. gave her a copy of Representative Women of Deseret–² and had quite a pleasant visit with her.

Reached Annie’s about dinner time found Mell looking extremely well and very glad of course to see me– We had quite a social evening– Annie & Mell are both good in conversation [p. 271] {p. 248}

Today we have been visiting talking over everything and had a fine dinner, John Q. ordered a carriage to take us to the train and Annie went with us. Mell was not sick on the way down and we got home all right, Belle was here a few minutes after also Mr. Sears. Mell chose my room to sleep in instead of the parlor, she was quite exhausted and went to bed rather early. How very strange it seems to be here in this old ruin, the home of the family so many years ago and all mine who are living coming back to me here– Such wonderful changes in our lives here upon earth & we know not <how or why> [p. 272] {p. 249}

The girls are beginning to come in to see Mell– I expect we shall have plenty of company. She seems very glad to see all our family and my friends. I do hope she will enjoy the visit and not be disappointed and nothing unpleasant happen to make more trouble than we have already. So much comes upon me all at once and with the care of the past years upon my mind it seems more than I can bear and keep my senses– times are bad, no money coming in and all seems at a stand still. I am very thankful to have my children with me once again– that is a remuneration for some losses– but O how can I hide my great grief always– [p. 273] {p. 250}