This is the first day of lovely Autumn, when the leaves droop and wither and fall to the ground. It is termed the melancholy season, and represents yet many gay & complete things, the harvest and the golden grain and luscious fruits and these are all pleasant subjects and happy in their bearing.

It is a day of days to me my first born Eugene Henri [Harris] was born on this day 1844– forty six years ago– how far away it does seem when looking back over the past. Annie & I rode around to see the display of the Labor Unions and then I called on Sister Richards and then took the train for home– met David [J.] Williams & wife¹ on the train. Miss Pegan came to bid me Good bye and her friend Mrs. Wilson with her. Mrs. Boyden called too– [p. 268] {p. 268}

<Letter from my husband today–> This morning Mr. Woodmancy of Cincinnati came to see me, and soon after Mrs. Amelia [Folsom] Young– she has been away East for some time and has not long since returned. Afterwards Mrs. Boyden came– I have been very busy with the mailing and Ort has been in twice Budd [Horace G. Whitney] to invite me to dine there tomorrow. I had a letter from my husband with the morning mail– Mrs. [Priscilla Paul] Jennings called and Emma [Jennings Carlisle]’s baby–² It has been a very full day and also very hot. Sarah Jane Cannon came too and we talked a little. Ed. H. Anderson and wife–³ he is going away on a mission to Denmark to preside over the Scandinavian Missions. Tonight I am here alone the wind sighing outside as tho it really were Autumn– [p. 269] {p. 269}

This morning a letter from my husband asking me to come down this week, and then callers, Mr. [Edward W.] Tullidge, with a whole string of complaints about the Church and so forth– Mrs. Heise called to see Daisie– and it seemed impossible to get through my work & go to dinner at Budd’s at 2. p.m. However I started off at last and arrived after all were seated at table– Helen & Mary Whitney, Mary Jane Groo and Johnna [Joanna Robertson] Whitney and Latie Groo and Ort. Whitney and Ella [Eliza Whitney] Decker & Geo. Pyper– A very pleasant gathering and a sumptuous dinner, Maille [Marion Beatie Whitney] did the honors as hostess admirably, the house is a very nice one and they seem so happy– came home at evening and commenced writing on the story of Hephzibah which had to be elaborated somewhat. [p. 270] {p. 270}

This morning went off by the Western train to Eldorado from there in carriage to Hunter to attend a meeting of the Relief Society. Sisters Horne Smith & Taylor all went and we each spoke– dined with the Pres. of R.S. Charlotte Nielson [Charlotte Johnson Nielsen] and had supper at Sister Evans her Counselor Went back to Eldorado in the carriage about 4 miles & took the train for home. Rode up from depot with Br. [Joseph] & Sister Horne– found among my mail a letter from Belle all well over there– May called and brought me a bouquet of china astors– I am very weary and have been finishing up my mailing and trying to write even more but am too weary– the City seems quiet to night and I am here alone both Emma & Eliza in bed I shall read awhile for I cannot work– [p. 271] {p. 271}

This morning felt very ill & could not sit up– Letter came from Daisie and one from Aunt Zina, I was too ill to read them– between 12 & 1– o’clock I had a sensation of some thing strange and told Eliza to call some one quickly– Rosa Lambert came– my color was dark and my lips were black– my hands very dark and the blood settled under the nails Elders. Geo. Lambert Tom. McIntyre and Sjodah [Janne M. Sjodahl] came and administered to me, afterwards Drs. Pratt & [Ellis Reynolds] Shipp both came– they put me in a warm mustard bath and that did me good– Gershom came and administered to me, and afterwards Ort and Br. Penrose came in but he had been having me prayed for in the Circle at the Historian’s Office Dr. Pratt & Penrose spent the evening and then I tried to reade a little– had so much noise [p. 272] {p. 272}

This morning felt much better Dr. Shipp came early to see me– Nette & Hannah– then June, Dr. Pratt and May after wards Ort. Nettie Culmer stayed all the afternoon yesterday. I meant to go to Ogden first <one &> then another hindered me until I was likely to be late. Emma went to the depot with me and I was just in time to get on board. Arrived in Ogden found Annie and the children at home, had dinner with them all and spent the evening pleasantly with Annie going over current events, the news of the city, gossip of the family and Church matters. The Cannons & the Wells’s & the various events now transpiring. We talked of new books and magazines and of the Primary Associations & Church Schools etc. [p. 273] {p. 273}

The day was cool and fair, there were some callers and baby was not very well. Geo. Q. and Louise went to Sunday School and we had a very nice dinner– went riding away out to some farming district through green lanes and where thrift and energy were apparent on every hand in orchards vine yards and meadows where the new moon [mown] hay was sweet with fragrance and the golden grain was heavy in sheafs and bundles. In the evening we sat in the parlor reading and chatting I read some fairy tales to the children and at a late hour we had lunch as usual and after some further visiting and renewing of affectionate relations retired for the night. [p. 274] {p. 274}

This morning I did not hurry but we had the carriage and went over to Sister Jane S. Richards, who wanted to talk to me of some meetings in the country. Came down on noonday train. W. [William] W. Cluff Pres of Summit Stake was on board and Sister Litha [Tilitha Free] Smith, and we talked all the way down. Litha had been summoned by telegram to her niece Ella Empey who was alarmingly ill. Arrived at home learned that Sister Ella Young Empey was dead. Had to prepare copy and several people called to see me having learned of my late illness. I feel very grateful to my Heavenly Father for his blessings unto me in keeping me through so many changing scenes. Life is full of changes and there is much loneliness. [p. 275] {p. 275}

Last evening Abbie came to see me and gave me a lb. of grapes, such delicious ones. I went to see Sister Smith & inquire about the Oneida Stake Conference, Abbie went with me to the Whitney Corner. Today I have had so many callers. strangers and friends. Ort has been in and read me a poem entitled “The Sin of Success,” he can write very grandly and also feelingly. In the evening I went up to Lydia Ann’s and Susan’s & stayed until ten o’clock. Sat in May’s room and visited. May & Louis [Robison Wells] came down to the cars with me afterwards I sat and wrote until a late hour. I am finishing the Story of Hephzibah in the Woman’s Exponent, it is quite exciting to me no one would ever think so except those who are as sensitive as I am. It is almost impossible to go over thrilling events with composure– [p. 276] {p. 276}

Today is a day of days to me– my Emmie [Emeline W. Wells] was born thirty seven years ago, how well I remember it, and how dreadful it seems that I should be left alone in this crazy old house after all these years, so many are gone, and yet they are better off. Annie came in good time and brought Margaret & Daniel. We went to the cemetery and took flowers and strewed them on our graves. Had a carriage, drove through the Park afterwards and then I went with Annie to the depot. In the evening went to the Wedding Reception with of M. [Milford] B. Shipp Jr. and Eda Dehlin,⁴ wore my pongee dress, and took for a present an illustrated book of poems, “Mary Queen of Scotts.” Dr. Barney came home with me and stayed until Three in the morning [p. 277] {p. 277}

Today has been dull after the gaiety of the wedding party– Sat at the desk all day long– In the afternoon Dr. Barney took me for a ride to Ex Mayor [Francis] Armstrongs and to Lyde & Emeline’s and then to call on Sisters Staines & Powell– It is the Relief Society Conference but I could not attend. At noon Sisters Raleigh Stevenson and Douglas had lunch here. Sister Douglas [Agnes Cross Douglass] who is from Payson wanted to talk to me about the condition of the Society there and we had a confidential conversation. Sister Howard came and gave me some details of the Conference. In the evening I prepared copy for the finishing of the paper. Letters from Sisters Sarah G. Richards Mary Ann Hyde, E. [Emily] Crane Watson and others but none from my own loved ones far away [p. 278] {p. 278}

This morning I felt very miserable, but had to rise as we were finishing off the paper. Reading proofs is not very easy on one’s nerves and people coming and going, all the time. Ort and Lydia Ann were here before I was up and then Ort came again later. Such a tiresome day, no nice variety only hard work and head-ache. too busy to get out on the street or for a walk. May & Nett were in a little while and Sister [Adelaide Whitely] Ridges who has recently returned from England.

This evening went to the Deseret Hospital, saw Dr. Pratt and Br. Penrose. Met Ort & Zine on the car going to the Theater. Had a gift for the Hospital from Judge [Joseph] Rosborough of 15.00. Came home and read a little while, and attended to a few items of work. [p. 279] {p. 279}

This is a busy day had to get up very early for me, and go to the News Office. Succeeded in getting the paper out and kept busy all day with one thing or another. Towards afternoon went down town and did some errands. No news from Belle Mell Daisie or Verona which seems so bad. No letters that are very pleasing. In the afternoon rushed off to Ogden arrived there found John Q. and Annie in waiting for me– had such a delicious dinner and very pleasant evening alone with Annie– lunch in the parlor about eleven. Children all fast asleep and everything so peaceful and quiet. Mrs. [Olive Browning] Wallace & children had been in and spent a little time and Mr. [Joseph B.] Wallace called for her. We talked over so many things and she seemed in such good spirits only worried about Belle. [p. 280] {p. 280}

This is little Eugene’s birthday he is eight years old. Such a bright boy and so very handsome a fine singer too– how I would love to see him– he will have a good time today no doubt. Annie has sent him a present and so must I– such a sweet pet. It is a most lovely day– Annie & I have been loitering in the parlor– and enjoying the visit together. Late in the day after a fine dinner we went for a ride. John Q. took us up to the pretty view by the river back of the city and we did enjoy the scenery. These are the mellow Autumn days, so full of sentiment and the rich colors on the mountains when the sunset veils them with its rich blue & purple are glorious to behold. The evening we spent in happy converse in the parlor without interruption [p. 281] {p. 281}

Annie & John Q. came with me to the train at 1/2 past eleven, and I arrived home just before one o’clock. Sister C. C. Raleigh called and then Mr. Leyson of Butte Montana– then Matilda [Colborn] Pomeroy and Rosina [Colborn] Godbe and later Lydia Ann and so on; I tried to do some mailing but it was very difficult indeed. I did do some however and in the evening called upon Talula Young [Wood] to invite her to visit Annie in Ogden– I am making some preparations to go to Sanpete and attend the Sisters Conference and visit my husband at Manti in the mean time. Had a letter from Belle today, she told me of Eugene’s birthday in prospective– she intended to take him to the seashore– I am here alone tonight and so weary– yet so grateful for <a shelter> [p. 282] {p. 282}

This morning prepared copy and began mailing. Had ever so many hindrances and yet persevered; Nett, May, Lydia Ann, Talula, Mrs. Boyden & Rule have all been to see me– Rule & Jote [Josephine Beatie Wells] have a daughter born yesterday morning– they talk of calling it Libbie Beattie [Elizabeth Wells]– Dr. Pratt & Penrose have been in. Mamie Cannon– she is to be married on the 1st of October– I am trying to get ready to go to Manti and attend the Conference of the Relief Society Y.L. & P.A.⁵ of that Stake. Wrote to Sister M. Rouche & M. Pitchforth & to my darling Belle last night. Wrote to Annie tonight and prepared copy etc.– I went up to Lydia Ann’s this evening on the electric cars. no letters today from my loved ones. [p. 283] {p. 283}

This is the day of days for me– I had such a lovely letter from my husband & he said so many pleasant things, that in days past would have filled me with the most infinite pleasure, but now it is only like dead sea apples.⁶ Yet to have the acknowledgemnt from him that he makes in that letter is something to be recorded in the tablets of memory. How strange that everything comes too late, when the desire to possess it has gone. O Lord let me have that humility and grace that will find favor with thee and help me to pass through all that is needful to obtain the blessings I most ardently desire for myself and my loved ones. Father in Heaven help me now in my sorest need. Sent a gold ring to Eugene for a birthday present– [p. 284] {p. 284}

Slept very little sat up until three this morning and rose at half-past five– packed two or three things in my satchel and shawl strap and started off for the train. Arrived in good time and though I felt sick and weary was glad to be on the way to see my husband. Sister [Catherine Haskell] Woodbury was on the train an old friend and two or three more people that I knew; the morning was lovely and I could have enjoyed it had my mind been at rest. At last we reached Nephi and Sister Pitchforth came to see me, and brought me fruit and took me to have a cup of tea to Sister [Eliza Hibbard] Hawkins. Finally Chester was reached & there the buggy was waiting for me, a pleasant drive and we passed Ephraim, stopped a moment to see the [Canute] Petersons’ & then on to Manti, met my husband & was made most welcome [p. 285] {p. 285}

In the morning early after an almost sleepless night occupied in talking over the past Sister Jesson drove me over to Mayfield to attend the Relief Society Conference– On the way I felt very much depressed and had to alight from the carriage to get my breath– when we got to Mayfield went to Sister [Matilda Nielsen] Olsen’s Pres of the R.S. and had a cup of tea before going in to the meeting. ⁷|The sisters were assembled and meeting in operation, everything in order. At noon several of the ladies came to Pres. Olson’s to dinner and we had a pleasant gathering. In the afternoon I occupied considerable time and felt much blessed in addressing the audience. Sister Hyde was very appreciative of my sentiments and it was very satisfactory. In the evening the parlor was full of men & women who came to listen on the subject of suffrage. [p. 286] {p. 286}

This morning is the Young Ladies Conference Miss Stena [Christine] Willardson presiding I had a good opportunity to bear my testimony and to speak to the young people. Felt specially impressed in speaking upon the spiritual education of the youth of Zion– At noon there was a large company and Sister Olsen took great pains to wait upon the visitors. Afternoon was the Primary and many children assembled and I was much interested as I always am in the young. After the meeting adjourned I went to see and administer to a very sick woman Sister Jensen sorely afflicted and then I rode to Manti with Miss Sophia Dorius– the ride was exceedingly pleasant and the scenery fine in the extreme So glad to get back to my husband & be enfolded in his loving arms. [p. 287] {p. 287}

We did not rise until prayers and breakfast were over and then we rose reluctantly & breakfasted together in the great dining room– had lunch after and went to meeting in the same carriage– We were together all day long & enjoyed our social intercourse to the extreme. The evening was exceedingly pleasant as we had singing and sweet interchange of thought & feeling– and finally when the great parlor was vacated– we had more close companionship with each other and the moon and stars held no vestal power– the Temple in the moon light was like a celestial Temple illuminated from on high– we had a most enchanted night– very little sleep but such exalted emotions & aspirations that we were lifted up to the regions beyond and soared as it were in the realms <of light> [p. 288] {p. 288}

Today by my husband’s solicitation I stayed over to see the Temple once more and be with him alone in that sweet communion we enjoy so closely together. After breakfast we drove to the magnificent building and wandered through its most beautiful rooms and gardens of enchantment. Then in his room the great elegant sleeping apartment we sat and conversed upon our most sacred themes. We read over again some of our correspondence and explained things to each other and we talked of the past the present and the future– and our hearts were strung to the highest pitch of emotional excitement. We had an exceptionally fine time and if so let us not turn our backs upon our own dear selves, even if it is not worth while making a record of– [p. 289] {p. 289}

It is forty years today since Bishop Newell K Whitney died. I left my husband in bed, took a cup of tea in the parlor and came in the buggy with Sister Jesson to Chester and took the train for home. Arriving at Nephi Sister Pitchforth made me very welcome, I dined there and she came to the train with me. Reached home about 4 p.m. found it had been raining heavily. Lots of mail waiting. Aunt Zina had not yet returned from Canada. I felt rather anxious about her coming as the Conference is so near. Had to prepare copy and answer letters immediately. No special news nothing of importance has good the taken place– I am so weary and cannot rest must go off to see Annie– [p. 290] {p. 290}

Today it is forty five years since Irene Haskell Pomeroy had her first baby [Francella Pomeroy Robson] born in Nauvoo. What a grand woman she would have been in this age! I mourn that she did not live to accept the principles of equal rights– her daughters live and ought to honor her by stepping forward and making their mother known in Israel through them. She was a thorough Latter day Saint and worthy a place among the very noblest of the women of Zion. I must go tomorrow to Farmington. Called on Sarah M. Kimball today to see what her plans were and let her know my intention to keep good my word about going to Farmington to organize a Suffrage Ass’n. I am very weary, have been up to see the folks at Lydia Ann’s and at Nett’s. [p. 291] {p. 291}

Today I hurried and worried and flurried to get ready & go off to the afternoon train to Farmington. Sister Kimball was at the depot when I arrived and we went up together– She has very peculiar notions concerning the conditions of women– rather revolutionary, more so than mine. We arrived in good time were met at the depot and taken in a carriage to the meeting house, where we found the people assembled. Very soon we had the meeting in progress– Mrs. Kimball presiding and the officers were nominated for Davis Co. Addresses were made and instructions given and all being over we departed to the Children’s Primary Fair in the Court House and looked over the representation. Took train for home and arrived very late and completely worn out– [p. 292] {p. 292}

Such another weary day no one can imagine. Reading of proofs answering questions &c. Strangers and friends calling so much to do– and all so unsatisfactory. News of Sister Martha B. [Bowker] Young’s death– went up to see and learn particulars. Sarah M. Kimball came in and we called together. She had died suddenly and without suffering as many do. The Lion House seems so changed since the death of Brigham Young and especially since Aunt Eliza [Roxcy Snow] passed away. I can scarcely comprehend why the wives of the great man should let everything go down because he has passed away– but so it is. Poor Aunt Martha she was good and true to the principles of the Everlasting Gospel– [p. 293] {p. 293}

Hurried myself all day to get off to Ogden by the afternoon train, and succeeded at last– had not seen Annie since going to Manti and felt quite anxious to know how she was getting along. Christine the girl had left and she was managing alone with Rachel to come in and wash up etc. Sweetie had started to school– and Annie was so tired and really I enjoyed helping her all she would allow me. We had a pleasant evening & talked over so many things and looked at the magazines and newspapers of the present time, and retired ever so late– raining heavily and chilly too– but we were in comfortable quarters and well and with pleasant surroundings. John Q. was at his editorial post and we were alone. [p. 294] {p. 294}

We rose early and fixed the children for Sunday school– George Q. and Sweetie– I helped Annie as much as she would allow– Mrs. Clark who lives across the way came over with her niece and Annie engaged her to work. She will come tomorrow morning. I am so glad. Telephoned to Sister Jane S. Richards today and learned that her daughter Josephine [Richards] West was dangerously ill & so she could not come over or have me come there. Spent the day with Annie & the children. John Q. took us for a ride in the afternoon had a very sociable evening in the parlor together and sat up talking until it was very late– so tired– [p. 295] {p. 295}

Martia the girl came this morning– I left on the 1/2 past eleven train– found all right when I came home as I had expected I would; some mail awaiting but nothing important. Have a poem under way that I am anxious to finish for the first of October but find it quite impossible, therefore must leave it until the 15th when I hope to make it complete.⁸ Conference is near at hand and the Official Declaration recently published in the Deseret News⁹ will be presented for the acceptance of the people– and there are some who will be very much tried over the affair; but we must wait and see what the Lord has in store for us– we do not always know what is for our best good here & hereafter– [p. 296] {p. 296}

The wedding cards are out for Mamie [Mary Alice Hoagland Cannon] & Louis [Lewis M.] Cannon and Hugh J. Cannon & May Wilkin [Maria May Wilcken]– the day is set for the first of October but the reception is to be on the 2d.– I have an invitation and have selected presents for both each a book– I shall go up & take care of Annie’s children for her to come to the wedding. I much prefer doing so– Mamie is a very promising young woman and I hope she will be happy. The two are cousins and I do not think it the happiest conditions, but we have to accept such things as they come along, and cannot always be too particular, as love is very mysterious and we do not know how to account for all the flights of the winged messenger;– the last day of the beautiful month of September– [p. 297] {p. 297}