This is Emmie [Sears]’s birthday also June’s and the anniversary of Brigham Young’s. It is the Conference of the Y.LM.M.I.A¹ of Salt Lake and June returned from New York City yesterday to attend. Belle & Daisie both went off this morning. Mr. Sears called for a moment– John Q. and Annie went to the depot. I stayed with the children. After dinner we came to the depot & I left for home. I felt more than words can express when Belle went away, the doubt that we should ever see each other again, and the many changes that might take place. Daisie’s cold is not any better, she seems low-spirited too. Kate & May called & Emma [Kofod] tells me there were many yesterday came to see me. [p. 176] {p. 178}

This morning we had hoped to begin house cleaning but could not, all day trying to get copy ready and make preparations for house cleaning. Br. [George L.] Simpson will attend to the white-washing and [Charles F.] Martini do the carpets. I am very weary and cannot overcome all my melancholy. Have had two letters from my husband but neither of them contained much that was satisfactory. I mailed my letter today it will reach him tomorrow evening. a very unsatisfactory letter too, but might have been worse. A storm is brewing and we hear of high waters and floods etc. One cannot endure scarce to read of the perils by sea and by land. Gennie [Genevieve] Whitney Talbot has a daughter born it is named Florence. Zine has gone to Provo [p. 177] {p. 179}

been whitewashing, carpets taken up and every preparation for thorough housecleaning. Mrs. [Ann Selman] Parsons called and brought Mrs. Bailey. I bought a new parlor carpet today, feel it was a great effort– Brussells– the colors all subdued mixed pattern. The house is so old and not being my own home it does not seem as if I could put my own hard earnings into it– no one knows but those who do brain work how hard the struggle; and I have no pleasure in adornments at the present. I have lost heart and can see only the clouds. Father in heaven help me to be passive in thy hands, and to have mighty faith to intercede for grace and blessings. Summer is here and roses and all the sweet delights of field & vale, in which I have taken such pleasure in the past. [p. 178] {p. 180}

Today Daisie has worked very hard and been trying to get ready to go to Ogden, The office carpet is down it is made of two old ones and the office is clean at least. The dining room and back office are being renovated, everything moved and cleaned. I feel so weary and I do not like Daisie to do so much, she was ready in time and I went with her to the depot, saw Mrs. [Esther Weissbrodt] Francis of Morgan on the train. This evening I wrote to my husband my last letter to him had been very unsatisfactory and I wanted to do better– it will be a surprise to him getting two letters in succession from me. He has been more constant and regular in writing that I have been, but he has more time to himself in the evenings when in the Temple– [p. 179] {p. 181}

<Letter from little Em in San Francisco> This Daisie’s birthday, how well I remember the scenes and the time– and the joy afterwards when it was over, and the danger past. It was a lovely day and so it is now 22 years after. It scarcely seems possible and so many changes since & births and deaths and marriages in my family. I have seen sorrowful days since as well as before, not much of joy has entered into my life except in my children. Daisie is with Annie and I cannot possibly go up tho’ I know they will expect me. I hope it may be a happy day. I pray that a blessing may be upon them, and the dear children one and all I have bought her a present– a silver cream spoon– it will be something she can keep always. Lonely tonight went down to the old home, and wept like a child. [p. 180] {p. 182}

A day of annoyances and hurry. This was the day of the meeting and visit at the Cannon Farm. Could not get ready for the morning meeting Martini here at work & I waited too for Dr. Pratt. Br. Penrose called to see me a moment and Ort was here for an hour or more– Drove to the Farm with Dr. Pratt, had such a pleasant time and drive medlarks [meadowlarks] singing so sweetly, went over the old roads where Louie & I had been so often. Sad remembrances yet sweet. Meeting was in progress. I was invited immediately to speak but asked that local sisters speak first. Afterwards spoke had a lovely time & delicious dinner, Pres. Woodruff came and had dinner Dr. Pratt brought me home. [p. 181] {p. 183}

Today I rose early as my bedroom had to be finished and went out to see Aunt Zina, she was on her way to attend the funeral of her nephew’s child² over Brighton. Zina [Card] has gone South to Provo, Nephi & Manti– today is meeting day in the 14th Ward but it is just impossible for me to go though I do greatly desire it. I can hardly do what is needed at home Went up to June’s saw Lena she gave me some lovely climbing roses. Had a letter from little Emmie Daisie came home from Ogden at evening. It seems good to have some one for companionship and to be able to have them with good common sense and judgment not so lonely now [p. 182] {p. 184}

This morning tried very hard to rest, rose rather late and made some changes in the room, went to meeting in the afternoon, saw Hannah Wells on the way to meeting. She is in poor health & afraid of heart failure. Br. Jacob Gates preached he is very old, one of the company with whom I traveled up to Nauvoo he was returning from a mission to the Eastern States and had his wife Mary Snow [Gates] with him. After he finished speaking Br. Stevenson gave us a sermon and then there was an anthem. Daisie has finished the books and pictures and the house looks very nice indeed. Wrote to Sister [Ellen Whittaker] Lunt Cedar City Sister [Flora Sabin] Wrathall Grantsville & Sister Bomford Ogden to night, feel very tired [p. 183] {p. 185}

This is a warm dusty windy day. Josie is very cross making up the paper, as she almost invariably is. Daisie is packing away her winter clothing. She had a letter from her mother, they are well and baby is growing fast. Ort has been in twice today and some one all day long. Nina Leverish [Selina Winter Leverich] came unexpectedly as we had quite given her up. Ellen had just gone. I am so weary of the confusion of people in whom I have no interest running in and out. Martha started for Manti with baby Mary. I have been trying to arrange a little more but quite unsatisfactory. Br. James Needham is dead and Robert Campbell. Tonight is an awful warm wind and dust blowing. Ort spent the evening Daisie and he went over some old songs together quite pleasant [p. 184] {p. 186}

This morning Emma the girl who lives with us and her Aunt Clara went to Plain City on a visit. Daisie had to wait upon me and attend to the household duties. It has been a fatiguing day altogether and Daisie worked so hard she quite upset me. No letters from any of our own loved ones, and only interruptions in the way of people calling for the papers and they were not ready. There are really so many unpleasant things in this life to be encountered that one gets disconsolate almost. Daisie has gone to the theatre tonight with [Charlie] Johnson. I went ove[r] to see Aunt Zina, she fully intends going to Canada wrote to Jane S. Richards about the Conference at Grantsville. [p. 185] {p. 187}

<John Q. came down to see me today.> Sometime about midnight I awakened with sensations of stifling and cold chills as if death had taken hold of me, I rose walked about the room, rubbed my limbs with alcohol, but was obliged to waken Daisie, and then Rosie our next-door neighbor, and they put my feet in hot water, then rubbed me well gave me lavender and cayeanne pepper, and after three hours I laid down once more. During the day I had calls from Sister Kimball, Howard, Stephenson and last of all from Sister Richards of Ogden, who spent the evening with me and slept here all night. Br. [Royal A.] Barney is dead, the Dr. Elvira has been divorced. He never treated her like a wife and Esther B. [Bathsheba Wright] Fletcher is almost as bad. We talked over a great many things and had a nice visit [p. 186] {p. 188}

This morning Sister J. S. Richards and myself went up to see Aunt Zina but she had already gone to Springville, came back, Sister [Augusta Joyce] Crocheron called and I went with her to the President Br. Woodruff to ask his approval of a book for children she wants to publish; he was very kind and considerate in the matter and she felt satisfied. Several other sisters came during the afternoon and I made some progress with my clearing up. This evening Dr. Pratt called to see me, Sister Howard, Sarah Jane Cannon & others. Daisie went to the theatre to see [blank space] with Nina Leverish and husband.³ Sent letter to my husband and also a telegram– [p. 187] {p. 189}

Today Sister Pixton started for Manti– to work in the Temple for my husband which she promised to do when in the Logan Temple in the fall of 1887. or more She is quite a wealthy woman now tho’ once in poverty– her husband was prosperous in the latter part of his life and accumulated a great deal of property. I have been so very busy trying to get the paper out on time. Sister Howard has gone to attend the Conference at Grantsville– no one else, they wanted Sister Richards but on account of sickness in the family she could not go. I am very low-spirited, so many expenses and so few returns– Daisie is not so very well and she is expecting Libbie Pegan– [p. 188] {p. 190}

Rush and hurry as it usually is on a Saturday trying to accomplish so much more than it is possible to do. Went off to Annie’s on afternoon train and tried hard to forget everything at home which is not <a> very easy matter. Met with so many of the sisters during the day explained matters to them about the Suffrage celebration we intended to have sometime near the fourth of July, went over to Sister Jane Richards in Ogden and had some conversation with her about Brigham City affairs and she gave me her opinion about the changes to be made there– thought Phebe Woodruff Snow ought to be President. and it was Pres. Woodruff’s mind. [p. 189] {p. 191}

Tried to rest all I possibly could during the day and went out riding with John Q. & Annie in the afternoon had such a pleasant ride all round the outskirts of the City and up on to the new lands now offered for sale, where improvements are being made– such a pleasant time of day tho’ somewhat warm and dusty In the evening we had a quiet time with the children and after they had retired we had quite a pleasant chat over interesting matters and a late supper in the parlor and altogether the day was a restful one to me and helps to make a little change in the life of one accustomed to a large family, now left alone [p. 190] {p. 192}

This morning came down on the D. & R. G. train with John Q. and brought Margaret with us. Came up in the car from depot and coming in found Daisie suffering very great pain, felt greatly exercised and seeing Daisie alarmed telephoned for Dr. Pratt immediately. She came after some delay and pronounced it local peritonitis, worked with her the livelong day. At evening she was a little better poor little Margaret slept alone on the lounge in the parlor– as good as a child could be made no ado whatever. Scarcely knew what I ought to do for Daisie, felt so troubled but hope she will soon be better– wish she had faith in the administration of the Elders– how glad I should be & satisfied. [p. 191] {p. 193}

Daisie is a little better but not so much, she seems quite ill yet and I feel as if I should hardly like to leave her at home again while I went to Ogden or elsewhere. We have had a letter saying perhaps Verona & baby were coming to visit us but we hardly think it can be true. It would be a difficult journey for a young and inexperienced mother to undertake alone– and hardly seems possible that Mell would let her. Court for the County is being held in Osburn [Idaho] and both Will [Woods] & Barry [Hillard] have to be over there, so Mell & Verona have gone too and it is wretched boarding at a hotel not much like their own homes. [p. 192] {p. 194}

This is Nina Winters birthday now Mrs. Leverish, she is here visiting the city from Georgetown Idaho– She lived about 15 or 16 years with Mell; she has made quite a prosperous marriage I believe. Was always a very good girl and her mother⁴ a very nice woman her father⁵ once Bishop of the 5th ward of this City. Daisie is better has been out to day with Nina & Ellen & has done a little shopping. She looks quite ill however and is very weak & pale. Nina would like her to go home with her but we have not the means and as Verona & Libbie are both expected of course she could not leave at the present time any way. The weather is getting excessively hot and many people are going off into the cañons [p. 193] {p. 195}

This is Brents birthday, dear little fellow how I would like to see him, he is so bright– I sent him a plaid suit by his mamma when she went home.

Belle arrived from St. Louis this morning Mr. Sears went on down to Salt Lake City we had a pleasant day– and evening. Belle had a great deal to tell us. Dear little Sep was quite content and working away too at his business. She had enjoyed herself with him while Mr. Sears had been in Washington on his business errand. The journey had been a safe one and that’s a great deal in this day and age. John Q. was not at home having gone to Denver & Kansas City [p. 194] {p. 196}

<Telegram from Barry telling me Verona had started started on Tuesday the 17th.> We visited all morning and I left on the 11 o’clock train for home– came and found lots of things needing my attention– hunted up everything and was off again– on the 1/2 past four D. & R. G.– Annie came down for me we had dinner & then went for a ride, the first Belle had in Ogden. She seemed to enjoy it all very much, some preparations had been made for the Carnival the great Park, Lester Park was filled with Tents for the accommodation of strangers. It looked very charming. Afterwards we went with Belle to the train– it was very very late Annie & I both went in the car with her. She wanted very much to stay when she knew Verona was <coming> [p. 195] {p. 197}

Daisie & I came by the morning train. She had a letter stating Libbie Pegan would arrive that evening. We were making ready all day long and Daisie quite anxious. Afternoon Daisie went to meet the train came back saying train was delayed. After a time went again and I went out to make a few purchases and when I returned Verona & baby had arrived from Idaho– she had traveled alone and come quite unexpectedly for we felt sure she could not reach here before tomorrow. Directly after Libbie came with Daisie and there was such a hubbub. In our small house so many visitors seemed hard to dispose of. Daisie & Libbie took the <parlor Verona baby & I the Northeast room> [p. 196] {p. 198}

Such a muddle Daisie and Libbie went to church and Verona stayed with me baby seems quite sick has a very severe cold. Events crowd very thickly upon us and we seem scarcely prepared for so many changes. Baby is very beautiful has dark eyes and the appearance of dark hair, is exceptionally bright and intelligent looking. Verona Seems to adore it and spends much time making its food with great care. It is such an undertaking to raise babies on a bottle, but she thrives well notwithstanding her cough and cold. Several of our folks have been in to see Verona today and have met Miss Pegan who seems to take well with strangers. [p. 197] {p. 199}

The weather is growing very sultry and it seems as if every one who could afford it really should go into the cañons or out in some lone valley by a river. I have so much work to do, and really one might say have no help at all as far as the paper is concerned, so you will comprehend the force of my comment upon help. I scarcely know how to get through the days if I only had means I might have help to do my work some of it at least and more leisure to write out my thoughts. and study subjects that are deep and difficult to the common mind, but as it is I must drudge on & on without much respite from toil & care. [p. 198] {p. 200}

Today the girls have been out making calls etc & several people have come in to see Verona and the baby the house has been in the utmost confusion and I have tried very hard to succeed with my paper and get it out shall most likely make up tomorrow Mary is off going to leave work soon and go out on the Weber for a summer vacation. Some strangers very curious to know about domestic relations here called upon us and made inquiries into our home life. The Marshals are still arresting men for unlawful cohabitation and sending men to prison on the slightest evidence– putting men’s lives in jeopardy and impoverishing their families and causing the innocent ones to suffer. [p. 199] {p. 201}

Another busy day and the baby not well at all, it seems hard work to get along with everything & keep cool and collected this weather. There is no prospect of a cooler atmosphere, and it makes one so unpleasantly nervous. If there was nothing to do it would be different. Hard indeed on the babies and mothers too Verona has purchased a very handsome baby carriage and will make use of it for a cradle as well. Daisie and Verona occupy my room and I sleep on the sofa in the parlor, it is so hot and sultry that one can scarcely sleep anywhere, so that it makes very little difference about places. [p. 200] {p. 202}

I am so in hopes Verona will enjoy her visit, Libbie has gone to Park City and we are by ourselves. Baby is being shortened has had some very pretty things bought to make and some ready made.⁶ She is a very beautiful and attractive child, eyes always sparkling and a smile on her sweet face all the time like a little glimpse of heaven. May our Heavenly Father grant she may grow up pure and free from any blemish of body or soul, and that no sickness may hinder her from developing into a beautiful girl and above all that her disposition may be as sweet and angelic as her countenance would indicate. We have had a tiresome day very indeed [p. 201] {p. 203}

The anniversary of the death of the Prophet & the Patriarch. Such a solemn day when one remembers the terrible tragedy that took place at Carthage jail– forty six years ago. We are having such hot weather and so much is going on all around us of a sad nature. Whirlwinds cyclones, hailstorms, lightnings, cloud bursts and other wars of the elements that one can scarcely feel safe at home or abroad. Meantime the work for the dead is going forward & the communication between the spirit world and those on this side the veil is being opened up and no doubt Satan is becoming enraged and will do his utmost as the Prince & power of the air to overcome the good that is being done. [p. 202] {p. 204}

This has been a trying day so much to do and the baby not well nor yet Verona and I have been so desirous of making them all happy and I fear have not succeeded. I have so much on my mind that I cannot throw off and that no one else can share. Sister Kimball is talking of a Lawn Fete and we have been holding meetings and having committees and preparing things generally to have it. There will be a great deal of work attached but withal I believe we shall be better satisfied if we give a little time and make some active exertion to accomplish it than if we pass the success of Wyoming by and never recognize it in the least. All these things seem a trouble in one sense but are necessary.⁷ [p. 203] {p. 205}

This morning Libbie & Daisie went to the Presbyterian Church together and stayed to the Sunday School. Verona stayed at home with me, we had a pleasant time and enjoyed it very much. Several people came in to see Verona & some to call upon me. I feel anxious to have the girls go to Ogden and shall do all in my power to help them off. The Carnival or Mardi Gras is to be held then and John Q. has already gone to Denver to see the great Rex I. and to take the part of Rex II and will travel incognito back with the royal party Everything is being done on a magnificent scale and Ogden is quite gay with ornamentation.⁸ Meantime Salt Lake is to have a 4th of July celebration. [p. 204] {p. 206}

Today we have expended all our energies in preparations for getting the girls off. Libbie goes to Park City and Daisie Verona and Baby to Ogden. Ellen was here and we had plenty of confusion, after lunch I went and ordered a conveyance to take the girls and Ellen went with Libbie on the car. Finally we accomplished our desires and everything was ready and off they started, I hurried with some other work I had in hand, all the time worried and finally telephoned Annie, who answered me that they were there and just going in to dinner. I felt somewhat relieved, the party are to arrive in Ogden tomorrow morning, so the girls will be there to see with Annie the opening– [p. 205] {p. 207}