Frank [Franklin D.] Kimball’s birthday 36 years old to-day– Party at his mother’s¹ in his honor. Mrs. Kimball not very well. Daisie went to dine at Ellen’s with Arthur, and meantime my husband called– and made arrangements to return later. That prevented doing any writing as I must give him some special attention when he is here. It is my only opportunity to have him with me. He came about dusk it was a lovely evening and we had a pleasant interview talked of poetry of songs of music of the Temple of love when Daisie came it was growing late and we retired for the night feeling at least I did that the time had been a season of delightful interchange of sentiment and poetic expression. one long to be remembered. [p. 115] {p. 117}

Today is another charming one. We had breakfast together and before that even Aunt Zina brought Arthur Maitland Stenhouse to see me– while talking with them a party of strangers came and the breakfast was spoiled with waiting. Afterwards I showed him some old letters, one from his first wife² to [Nehemiah] Park Woods. Also a lock of his sister Catharine [Chapin Woods]’s hair very precious to him from his manner. He left about one o’clock. Daisie called on Miss [Flora] Finleyson and then went to the matinee and to the theatre with Nett and Harry [Henry A. L. Culmer] opera I went to the dress makers and passed my dear old home and garden– then home to write Hephzibah and so on Very weary and low-spirited [p. 116] {p. 118}

This morning visitors the very first thing and business calls. Fixed things so as to go to the Woman Suffrage Convention in the afternoon. A very poor showing. Daisie took Miss Flora Finleyson opera singer out riding. Afterwards had an organ recital at the Tabernacle Miss Finleyson sang 2 pieces and Mr. [Thomas] Radcliffe played two pieces on the organ.³ I attended the Convention and acted as Chaplain Mrs. Kimball presided, there were only a few delegates present– Prof. Alexander spoke after the reports had been made. Maria Dougall gave an account of the Washington trip. Went over to Mrs. Phebe Beattie’s after to a kind of informal entertainment, then to the Tabernacle then home. My husband came to see me this evening– such a nice <visit> [p. 117] {p. 119}

The Conference opened this morning in the big Tabernacle and I was there– Pres. Woodruff opened the meeting himself the singing was very grand & first one and then another of the Seventies were called up to speak– quite a number of ladies lunched with me Pres. Wells came and had his lunch afterwards.

In the afternoon the speakers were A. [Abram] H. Cannon, A. [Anthon] H. Lund M. [Marriner] W. Merrill and a few words from the First Presidency. The evening was the Y.L.M.I.A.⁴ Conference and my husband had been here and had his supper and visited with some ladies, and then he stayed the evening with me visiting and we had a nice interview without interruption of any kind Daisie & Minnie were both out– [p. 118] {p. 120}

This was such a busy day I could not go to meeting It was withal a sad day for me but utterly impossible to do what I wished as it kept me going to wait upon people– dinner time came and Sister [Ann Seetree] Tate was the only visitor. More of the Twelve had been speaking, H. [Heber] J. Grant John W. Taylor, John Henry Smith and F. [Francis] M. Lyman. many of the folks commented upon the remarks made the weather was very windy. In the afternoon Moses Thatcher and Lorenzo Snow spoke to the people– Moses making a sort of confession. In the evening Sister Finch came to visit the Esquire and after she went away we had a very nice time together and then he went to the Priesthood meeting at the Taber<nacle–> [p. 119] {p. 121}

This is the 60th anniversary of the organization of the Church and must be an eventful time in its history. The morning was a pleasant one and Pres. Woodruff spoke to the people also Franklin D. Richards, the house was very much crowded and at noon we had quite a party come to lunch. In the afternoon the crowd was so great that an Overflow meeting was held in the Assembly Hall. George Q. Cannon occupied most of the afternoon Pres. Woodruff closing with a short sermon exhorting the people and so on. He is well and hearty though 83 years old and his voice is still strong. Caroline [Raleigh] came to see the Esquire & spent the evening and after that he stayed all night. Others had interviews for counsel etc. [p. 120] {p. 122}

This morning I had to rush a little notwithstanding my inclination to linger with my husband, but a Woman’s Conference of the Relief Society calls for united effort and Sisters Young and Richards called for me and we went in good time to be on hand for the opening. The meeting was rather a well attended one there being many in the galleries as well as the body of the house Sister Zina spoke eloquently and Sister Bathsheba a few words and some President reported. In the afternoon more reports verbal, speech by Aunt Zina & Sister Richards– Sarah Kimball and I read reports from far off places that had come by letter. no letter from Belle or Mell or Verona [p. 121] {p. 123}

This is the anniversary of one of the sad memories, the day of the month on which my darling Emma died. Now I almost rejoice at the death of any one in their purity and feel that on the other side there are no trials no temptations to be overcome and no fear of falling away from the faith of the Gospel. So many sad things have happened to me in April and my life altogether has been so checkered that I wonder I have courage to live at all. My once happy family life is totally destroyed with this and that but more particularly on account of the sale of my dear old home, from that I can never recover my whole existence was bound up in it– [p. 122] {p. 124}

Last evening I went down to the dear old place. What memories crowded upon me I felt the great sobs well up in my throat and my tears fell like rain when I gazed upon my former home now taken from me strangers fill the rooms once ours only and I have not the privilege of entering there. Yesterday morning my husband went away to Manti to fill his position in the holy temple– I did not see him to bid him good bye but he will write to me I think. Strange indeed that after all my younger years have been past in comparative seclusion that when I am past three score even he should seem so devoted. Would I could have kept his letters but these are the days of the crusade– Letter from Belle today– gave me great comfort– [p. 123] {p. 125}

Have hurried up my work and prepared copy so I could go to Ogden this evening succeeded in getting off at last and found all well, rested myself a little on the train, found Annie in the midst of house cleaning and all well, sat up late talking and did not have a very good night either; we had talked so much on such a variety of subjects I had become so thoroughly excited and so much of the past rose up before me, was more than I could well endure, I had seen so many strangers before coming and there were so many exciting things that my soul was wrought up. such days these are O such days [p. 124] {p. 126}

This is the anniversary of Belle’s marriage to Septimus and also of Emmie’s funeral. two such important events April has been a strange month for me always. It was in April I left my New England home for the great West and so many events of importance connected with the Church have transpired during this month. Mrs. Jane B. [Ballantyne] Taylor’s birthday and a party of ladies invited to honor it at the residence of her daughter Mrs. Annie [Taylor] Hyde. Sixteen of as [us] sat down to supper with her making 17 in all at table. We had a meeting after wards and Aunt Presendia [Huntington Kimball] presided, and Sister Hyde spoke in tongues aunt Zina interpreted.⁵ I have been thinking of Belle all day long and my heart goes out to her instinctively. God bless and keep her safe from all harm [p. 125] {p. 127}

Today I have sought with all my might to get ready to go to Ogden, but it seemed impossible, had some very interesting strangers in the morning and then Sister Minerva W. Snow came after me to go to the Penitentiary with her to see Br. [Jens C. A.] Weibye and so I prepared bade adieu to the ladies & went to the Marshal’s office to get a pass for both of us, to see him and also Br. Jos. Horne We had a nice ride except for dust and succeeded in all that our pass entitled us to. Br. Weibye looked very bad but Br. Horne looked well & seemed very cheerful. In the evening I could not succeed in catching the train for Ogden but came home and did some writing and arranged to go in the morning. [p. 126] {p. 128}

This is Emeline’s birthday 33 today went up there last night, made a short call came home over the hill. Went to Ogden on the morning train, found all well, drove out for awhile in the afternoon– called on Sister Jane S. Richards. Stayed all night had a nice evening with Annie John Q. and the children. Emma [Weaver] the girl was out and Annie in the middle of housecleaning. I cannot help very much felt too ill lay on the lounge thro’ the afternoon. Would be almost glad to lie down forever felt so weak and feeble. Children all well & Annie trying to carry all the care and anxiety of the housekeeping on her own shoulders. went to bed feeling very unable to keep up. [p. 127] {p. 129}

This is David H. Cannon’s birthday. He is almost always associated with John W. Young’s’ 19 today stayed at Annie’s all day long, did not feel able even to come home, was inclined to stay and leave all to its own fate. Children very sweet to me and Annie all attention but one likes to be independent if sick especially. I came down on the train with lots of people I knew when in hopes there would not be any, found all well and lots of work as well as letters waiting for me. So much to do always, O, so much. felt very ill could not keep up pain almost unbearable in my head & ear, took away all my strength and I had to lie down most of the time. [p. 128] {p. 130}

This is my Brother Hiram [Clark]’s birthday, his many friends will remember him with love and gifts no doubt. He has a very lovely family at home and wealth and every luxury to make his life desirable. It is not a fine day drizzling soft rain and for me hard work and very little to brighten the days. I have lain on the lounge nearly all day in agony. Sister Staines called and I let her in for awhile and gave her Belle’s address, she is going to San Francisco and also Mrs. C. W. Stayner and others. yesterday some other Mormon people went it is all right and they may recruit, but such women as Sister Staines and Sister Stayner do it to kill time [p. 129] {p. 131}

This has been another day of pain though I am a little betterr. Sister Emma [Smith] Woodruff came and invited me to her house to a meeting of the Relief Society tomorrow. It is stormy & I may not be able but hope I will perhaps it may do me good. and I need some sort of a fillip as Sister King used to say. The lilacs are growing and some of the trees are green– Spring comes but slowly and yet fast enough for me. O, my home it looks so dreadful and so neglected– heaven help me– my heart is sad at the thought of its being possessed by another. [p. 130] {p. 132}

All the morning kept busy and in the afternoon about one o’clock the carriage came to take Sister Zina and Sarah Kimball and myself to a Parlor meeting and party at Sister Emma Woodruffs a fine span of horses and a carriage, we had a nice ride except for the dust, and quite a full meeting. Sister Woodruff presided Aunt Zina spoke first of the three visitors I was the next and then Sister Kimball. After the meeting we had a sumptuous dinner and then ice cream afterwards. and Pres. Woodruff sat at the head of the table and looked like a young boy almost and yet he is 83 years old. We drove home in the same conveyance and went through the park on our way which was quite a pleasure. [p. 131] {p. 133}

Tooke little Louise out to several places today, it rained some but then we went on the car, we went to Martha’s saw Hebe [Heber M. Wells] and little Mary [Beatie Wells] and Jode [Joseph S. Wells]’s wife⁶ and baby Alice. Jode is building a new house next to his mother’s. a frame one– one story cosy though for the two young people and their baby– Nice to[o] for Martha to have Hebe & Jode so close and Emily [Wells Grant] if she can ever return out of her captivity with her little ones. We called at Emeline’s on our way back. Sweetie remembered the house as her Aunt Mells and how that July day when her mother⁷ was in San Francisco she fell in the fountain in the front yard & Percival [Woods] & Q. dreagged her out and carried her into the house. We came home in a regular dust storm– [p. 132] {p. 134}

Today took Sweetie out to show her around, went down to the old home, and saw the blessed garden, dear old currant bush where the children played so much and the delicious watery currants that made such nice sauce– everything there to me is sacred. O, how much I have learned and suffered in those trees and round about them. Now it is desecrated by strangers– we know them not and have no rights or privileges they are willing to respect. All is much the same as yet in the house, save the sign of furnished rooms. I do not think they will ever realize here the sales they now anticipate. John Q’s birthday Br. [George Q.] Cannon Mamie [Mary Alice Cannon] David and myself all went up on the 5 o’clock train took Sweetie had a fine dinner & a pleasant evening– [p. 133] {p. 135}

Last evening Br. Cannon talked very free and expressed some of his feelings in reference to questions, of importance in the Church. It was a regular treat to me who all my life time have been associated with the leading men of the Church and heard the opinions of the President and his Councilors & the Twelve Apostles. Br. Cannon’s views on the Word of Wisdom are quite different to those of most other people.⁸ It rained during the day but Annie Mamie & David went out to ride and see Frank [Cannon]’s children. We took the late train for home after dinner and at Layton Geo. Q. came on to the train, he had been there preaching and settling a difficulty. Lou [Lewis Mousley] Cannon met Mamie at the depot and I came up on the car– found the house alone Daisie came home soon after– [p. 134] {p. 136}

This is my brother Manson [Woodward]’s birthday and I presume he is having a grand time with his own family and friends, he is I think 69 today. tho’ I really am not quite sure still I think he must be. His health is very delicate indeed. I am working diligently to get the mail of paper ready and it does seem so hard on me for so little comes in of the right stamp. Rain again with thunder and lightning, and wind and all that renders it unpleasant. Daisie has such a cold she cannot go to the Choral tonight. She looks very sick too as well, and is very often low-spirited and melancholy even. It is sad for any young girl to give up to such despondency, and to a condition of mind that creates an unpleasant atmosphere and is not consistent with the blessings of life. [p. 135] {p. 137}

This is a rainy day again, & mud so much of it one can scarcely get around or accomplish anything, I am still trying to get Hephzibah corrected and revised just enough for the paper this time and the Poem Coquettish April finished.⁹ I have had a party of strangers and one or two besides and other hindrances a letter from Belle which I was very glad of and other matter that kept my time fully occupied and it seems as if we have not enough. A few days are soon gone that look beforehand as though we could accomplish so much before we begin. Daisie is a little better and is trying to get some of her correspondence off her hands; and I too but slowly, for my work has accumulated so much and I never seem able to get up again with it– [p. 136] {p. 138}

<We went to see Emeline tonight Daisie sung for her 2 or three songs> This is Percival’s birthday and he would be twelve years old were he living. The rain is pouring down in torrents and the outlook is very gloomy indeed. Daisie want very much to go to the graveyard and take a few flowers I want to go too very much indeed. In the afternoon the clouds cleared away and Daisie went up alone on the street car. She says the cemetery looks lovely and fresh and water running through. Daisie went to the theatre with Charlie [Charles] Johnson tonight. The play was Alone In London. very sensational indeed. I finished Hephzibah Chap. nineteen and wrote some on my poem the last finishing lines, very fragmentary indeed I do not think it a very good effort– have had no <seclusion to write and read aloud> [p. 137] {p. 139}

<Some one picked up my gold spectacles in the office to-day.> This morning have had strangers, and Sister E. S. Taylor and Minerva W. Snow and several others, Aunt Zina was in two or three times and we talked over some of the Lion House Affairs and she became quite worked up over it all. She thinks like some others that the Youngs have been abused.¹⁰ I went up to the Lion House today to see Joseph F. Smith in reference to an article I had in type He manifested very liberal views towards women, and was very social. Daisie & I went to Musicale at P. [Parley] P. Pratt’s Junior in the evening, and there were two parlors full. Violins, Piano, Cornet, flute, guitar & zither. Singing dancing and suitable refreshments with champagne and black coffee– came home about one o’clock [p. 138] {p. 140}

Susan came in early this morning and was telling me about the house-cleaning and new carpets and curtains I paid for some views today 4.00 I regret it very much. I ought not to have agreed to it. I am so destitute of means I dare not use it and indeed I have not much to use Sent of[f] two letters one <to> Helen and the Mrs. Colins of who owes me a bill and has moved to Ashley Uintah◊◊◊ Mrs. Sarah M. Kimball came to see me this morning, a pleasant call took up an article for the Contributor, Aunt Zina came and said she was going to Logan after asking me to write, she could not come. Louie [Louise Boulton] Felt came in to see me she goes to Ogden tomorrow. May Wells Dr. Barney John Q. and lots more. Daisie has gone to a Sociable tonight. [p. 139] {p. 141}

I was much annoyed that Aunt Zina had gone to Morgan¹¹ after telling me to write as she did, but I felt that it was all right any way and I was not in fault therefore I rested¹² more content, but there are many things at home that require attention and it is a necessity that some one prepared to answer questions should be on the spot to defend our cause. I am here to reply to all questions of importance and to defend the principles of our faith to the very last. I feel that I am needed here that I have a testimony to bear that is of some importance. Went to Ogden to tell John Q. his father would surprise young Mormons and cause dissension and difficulties¹³ [p. 140] {p. 142}

All these days are full of agony to me each year I have to go thro’ the same each year. Each day brings remembrances fresh to the mind. I stayed in Ogden Geo. Q. went East this morning to see what can be done for our interest with Congress, he may have some, but he has many enemies, more than he knows of and more than any other one of the leading men of the Church I firmly believe. I feel his business is of the greatest importance or he would not have started on Sunday¹⁴ The day was rainy so we did not have a ride only the carriage to go to the depot and catch the train. Came home and found no one here could not get in Emma [Kofod] came soon after, Daisie late– sent me a note saying she would stay all night <at Dr. [Francis S.] Bascom’s> [p. 141] {p. 143}

This morning was trying to hurry the girls up with some of the copy and try to get the paper out– so many hindrances come in every shape. Daisie came home before noon in excellent spirits. It does seem as though work accumulated beyond everything– no more done now than when we were without a girl. Ellen is about moving into the house that Rose Wightman used to occupy. I have finished the twentieth chapter of Hephzibah and have decided that the story cannot be finished in the volume– I expect Sep now very soon and am in hopes Belle will come too. Verona is in very miserable health baby better and improving [p. 142] {p. 144}

This is another day of gloom– so much that is sorrowful comes up before me to cause a depression of spirits and of mind, really of late it has been dreadful for me to endure. My heart is broken and I know so much of sorrow that were I to give way to it I could be buried in the depths of sorrow all the time, but I struggle for the brighter and the better that I may do some little good while I live upon the earth. Dark clouds oppress me and every vision that presents itself seems more sorrowful than the last. I do not feel that I am good company for Daisie I am too much absorbed with my own grief at present. But soon there may be a change for the better [p. 143] {p. 145}

This year 17 years ago Leslie [A. Dunford] was born how well I remember it and the next morning June went off on his first mission to England. I was so different then in my own home, so much happier– year after year the dear little fellow expected me to give him a present when the day came round. I thought so much of him and fully expected to have him for my own– all that is past and he is gone, sleeps under the grasses and the flowers. Last year baby Verona was married on that day and started to come here. We thought of her all day Annie & I talked of her; this year Daisie and I sent a trifle to let her know we remembered her peculiarities [p. 144] {p. 146}