Annie came up with me and we found John Q. had arrived from Ogden by an early train. The Primary Associations are at the Park celebrating the birthday of Brigham Young. It has been a very hot day. There are a large number of visitors from the country come in to the Young Men’s Conference. Sister [Emily Leywood] Monk & her daughter May [Mary Jane Monk] and his little girl Phebe [Monk] came in from Spanish Fork and are with me. I went to the Marshall’s office with Sister Monk to get a permit for her to go to see Br. [Charles] Monk who is in the Penitentiary. I have had a most tiresome day. I am very weary feel almost worn out. hope to rest tonight in peace and be refreshed. [p. 177] {p. 180}

Sat up late last evening, reading proof and writing Verona had been to the Theatre with Mr. Olsen. Rose very early and came down town, went up to Lula [Louisa Lula Greene Richards] afterwards for proofs. Young Men’s Conference begins today. The city is crowded with strangers & people from the country. I read my revise, paper was out in the afternoon, so many in the Office worried me dreadfully. My husband came in for a short time just before the evening meeting, he goes away Monday morning. I shall see him again tomorrow. I have been down town this evening, the streets are over-crowded, and yet many are at the meeting in the Tabernacle. I was alone but busy at work and so tired. Annie went with Sister Monk to the Penitentiary to see Br. Monk who is serving a term for unlawful cohabitation or his <principles> [p. 178] {p. 181}

This morning I was too ill to rise, could not any way. Sister Monk and the girls fixed their own breakfast and went to meeting. I lay all morning on the bed. At noon I put on a wrapper my husband came and stayed about an hour. We had a pleasant time and I felt much better but not able to sit up. Stayed alone all the afternoon. There was a fearful wind and dust storm. O. F. Whitney gave his lecture today on Home Literature¹ I wanted very much to hear it, but I was too ill to go at all. I ate some dinner about six and felt much better. The rest will do me good. Have not seen Annie today nor any of mine. Seems so lonesome. How strange things come about, so different from what we anticipate [p. 179] {p. 182}

My husband went away today to Manti early train. Ort was here very early talking of the Conference. Several other people came quite early and we had visitors all day. Went down to the Hospital meeting and took Sister Monk with me to go through the House. Came back early and tried to help some with the mailing. Verona came and began the folding and wrapping. Wrote a letter to Emmie [Emily Wells Grant] & a card to Sister [Mary Ann Farnes] House of Grantsville, and tried to visit some with Sister Monk. Towards evening rain came on went with Annie to invite some of her company for tomorrow Prissie [Priscilla Jennings] Riter and Maille [Marion Beatie Whitney] & Clint [Clarissa Young Spencer]. She bought some things and Talulah went down home with her to stay all night. [p. 180] {p. 183}

To day is Daisie’s birthday and early in the morning Ort came in again and Sister Howard afterwards Sister Snow Olsen Hinckley² and other sisters, had quite a time of visiting Sister H. C. [Harriet Cook] Young from the Lion House & also M. B. [Martha Bowker] Young from the same place. We keep hearing of the destruction done by the wind on Sunday in different parts of the City. Wrote to Sister House today about Grantsville Conference. There are preparations being made for a Territorial Fair and also for the Exposition of Utah products in a car to be sent East on purpose to advertise the Territory. Annie came up late & said her company was a success in all respects. [p. 181] {p. 184}

The wind blew a gale again John Q. came down from Ogden and called in to see me, he has not decided yet about staying in Ogden permanently. Annie came in and dressed for Prissie [Jennings] Riter’s <tea-> party, After that was over she came back to the Office and stayed until the theatre was out then I went home with her it was midnight when we reached the farm.

Sister Monk May & Phebe all went to the Theatre to see the “Old Homestead.” I gave them their tickets. The day has been a very tiresome one to me, and I am anxious about Belle not having heard from her <for> so long. Verona has been helping me with the mailing. I am in the midst of a poem that it seems impossible to finish. [p. 182] {p. 185}

This morning we were very late getting started from the farm. It was noon when we reached the City. Mrs. Nettie Snell who has been spending the Winter in Washington called in to see me today, she was a delegate to the International Council.

Sister Taylor came to see me today, it has been windy and disagreeable; my head has ached very much and I am much depressed in spirits. Felt very lonely and sorrowful, thinking of my loved ones and how my home had been bereft. Came up to Mell’s as the sun was setting. Cal Wells Hedges had a son³ born at midnight. There are many changes going on in the affairs of the Church, and various opinions concerning the future of Utah. [p. 183] {p. 186}

I have been working hard all day preparing copy writing letters and so on, have had lots of strangers and some of our own people calling. It takes up lots of time, and sometimes wearies me beyond telling. I made one or two calls on my friends and wrote a little on my poem. There never seems time for such things nowadays Was up at Martha [Harris Wells]’s today with Annie, she is expecting to move to Ogden and how lonely it will be for me. Even now it is all I can endure with my little flock so scattered. some here and some there and me so forlorn. My Louie how shall I ever get over her sad loss. So closely was her life interwoven into mine. [p. 184] {p. 187}

Today is Hannah [Free Wells]’s birthday. She is 59. I gave her a little present a book—it was not much but a remembrance. It has been a beautiful day rather too warm but withal quite pleasant. Busy hardly time to breathe went down to Annie’s at evening, and tried to do as much as possible to make her feel well. She is worried and annoyed over the idea of moving and leaving her house to which after all she has become so attached. It is a pleasant place and the trees are growing nicely now and the birds sing beautifully in the morning. There is a fine view of the city and of the mountains East and she has made it a pretty home nest. [p. 185] {p. 188}

I came up and went to the Tabernacle, had not been lately and enjoyed the services very much. Went up to Mells afterwards and spent the evening there. John Q. has come down and is at Annie’s I have not seen him however, but when he is there I am more content I have so much writing that seems to hang on my hands and down there, we always have so much to talk of & to take up our time that I accomplish nothing. It is the same at Mell’s almost and I believe I am growing less inclined to work at night and that is putting me behind with my work. So the days go. [p. 186] {p. 189}

Another busy morning and day too for that matter, a letter came inviting me to attend the Conference at Gunnison and to visit Manti on my way. I shall see my husband. Sister [Mary Ann Price] Hyde was very good to invite me just now when he is there alone. She thinks to give me some opportunity to see him and also to help her out with the Conference Well I will try to go. My work must be done however all the same and the mailing will have to be left until I come home again. Annie is writing a series of articles on the Women of Utah⁴ and she will furnish some copy [p. 187] {p. 190}

Hurry and bustle from morning until evening. I have been so hard at work trying to get copy ready reading proof and making the most of my time. I have received a letter from Aunt Zina in which she addresses me as the Cor. Sec. of the Relief Society everywhere in all its branches. Evidently my work will be more extensive in the future than it has been. Responsibilities come thick and fast upon the women of Zion. Those who will must take up the burdens and carry them. Sister Sarah M. Kimball has been in to see me and I told her about Aunt Zina’s letter and showed it to her, but she is a very strange woman. Seems to want everything to be as she sees fit. [p. 188] {p. 191}

Today I have devoted to getting ready. Have been here and there and finished up as far as possible. Went down to Annie’s and over to the other house also to the 12th Ward house and have done a great deal of office work as well. I never have time to prepare editorials properly– and this time I have taken it up a page or two at a time. I am pleased however to have the opportunity to travel and speak in the interest of Zion and feel how blest I have been and the truth of the prophecy of Bishop Whitney upon me, when he said I should have nothing to do but to devote my whole time to writing and to literary pursuits, and that I should sit and eat and drink and converse with the nobles of the earth and tell them of the Gospel [p. 189] {p. 192}

This morning came away alone on an early train, had an interesting conversation with Br. Waddell⁵ on the way down; he stopped off at Provo. I went to Chester by train and there a team was in waiting to convey me to Manti. I arrived at the Temple Hotel about six p.m. very weary and soon saw my husband. Every arrangement had been made for me to have Sister Jesson’s⁶ room and she was very kind and attentive. I had some conversation with Sister Hyde about the programme of the meetings for the Conference and a rather unpleasant but satisfactory interview with Sister Hannah [Tupper] Grover who is sealed to Pres. Wells. There were quite a number of brethren and sisters at the Hotel with whom I have been acquainted. Br. & Sister [Edwin and Rebecca E. Smith] Standring of Lehi [p. 190] {p. 193} among the number.

This morning my husband went early to the Temple and after some unavoidable delay Sister Hyde & myself started off to Gunnison where the Conference meets today. We arrived late after a pleasant morning’s ride and found the meeting in session. Sister Helena Madsen taking the lead. Sister Hyde however took her position and presided during the remainder of the Conference– We went to Bishop [Christian A.] Madsen’s and dined, met a number of pleasant people. There were quite a number from other settlements and the conversation was interesting. I spoke at some length in the afternoon meeting, which was a very large gathering. In the evening we talked of many things that were and are transpiring. Br. Madsen has a great fund of information and is a good talker [p. 191] {p. 194}

We were very late retiring and my mind was so active I slept little; in the morning early I was awakened by the flutter and noise of a bird that had come into my room. It was a very beautiful little creature and it seemed not to know its way out. It flew over and over the bed on which I lay and seemed to me a messenger from my loved and departed Louie who some years before had slept there with me. At last it flew away singing some sweet notes as it went. Today I addressed the meeting both in the morning and in the afternoon. I felt much blest in speaking and in the assurances given that I had spoken to the edification of the people. After meeting Br. [Anthony] Metcalf took us over to Manti, the drive was a very pleasant one. [p. 192] {p. 195}

Last night my husband was very pleased to see me come back, and after an evening pleasantly passed in the Hotel parlor we retired and talked over many matters of special interest to us. As I have not had many such opportunities since his return from Logan I felt grateful to be able to speak of things that are not always proper or expedient in the company of others. I rose very late and the morning soon passed. Went to meeting in the afternoon, heard Bishop C. [Christian] N. Lund and Elder C. [Cyrus] H. Wheelock of Mt. Pleasant speak to the people. After meeting we drove to the Temple and I went through it with my husband. Sat with him in his private office and combed his hair and my own bathed myself and felt refreshed in body and in spirit. We talked [p. 193] {p. 196} of the past and the present and also that night we conversed much together, dwelling upon the joys and the sorrows of our lives. Our great struggles and the kindliness that had always diffused itself through our intercourse with each other.

This morning I bade my husband good bye in the North East Office at the Hotel. not expecting to see him again very soon. He went away to the Temple and Sister Hyde and myself journeyed on to Ephraim, and arrived at Pres. [Canute] Petersen’s in time for dinner. At 2 p.m. met in the Sister’s Hall and spoke quite lengthy to them, also interpreted for Sister Hyde;⁷ by the request of Pres. Peterson– At 5. p.m. met with the two Primaries in their meeting spoke to the children as best I could. Sat up late talking with the Pres. & family. [p. 194] {p. 197}

This is little Brent [Sears]’s birthday three years old. What a fine boy he is. Took the stage at Ephraim bade good bye to the Peterson’s and Sister Hyde and had a most miserable time driving over to Moroni to take the train. The driver and the only other passenger were very unpleasant as traveling companions, both using tobacco all the way. However I survived it and on reaching Nephi went up to Sister [Mary Mitchell] Pitchforth’s and rested a little while, dined there and enjoyed the time very much indeed. She invited me to come to the Anniversary of their Relief Society organization on the following Saturday. When I reached home I found it had been raining very hard and the ground was well soaked. [p. 195] {p. 198}

Rain is much needed all over the country but very great drouth prevails in Sanpete Co. and over the whole South. Learned today that Mrs. [Alice Cliff] Scatcherd of England called at my office expecting to see me during my absence. I regret not seeing her very much indeed. Many letters and messages were waiting for me on my return. Verona had kept the office and Annie had been backwards and forwards and attended to many things for me. She took me home last evening and brought me up again this morning. She expects to move to Ogden now very soon. How lonely it will be for me, who have been accustomed to have all my family around me. Daisie is now up in New England visiting my relatives. [p. 196] {p. 199}

<Went to the Conference and acted as Secretary offered the prayer> Today is Pallas [Woodward Clark] birthday she is 69. years old today. I hope she has every thing to make her happy as possible on this day. The paper is being issued and I am much gratified with Annie’s article—on the Women of Utah⁸ Weather is so hot it is all we can do to exist and attend to daily duties. Going to the Lake seems to be the most potent attraction tho’ many go to the caňons and even farther away. Fruits are ripening and the folks are busy putting up fresh fruit, preserving & so on. Mell had many cherries and currants. I sent a box of very nice strawberries to my husband at Manti today. Annie has been shopping preparing for a party of girls tomorrow– [p. 197] {p. 200}

<Went to the Y. L.⁹ Conference & spoke> Busy as busy can be Annie has invited her company and made all preparations she will have a lovely time I am sure. It is the first time she has invited any <large> company since our dreadful sorrow. She will have all the sisters and sisters in law. and a few others. I am not in the best of health and Mell’s sorrows press heavily upon me. She is depressed in spirits most of the time, and the uncertainty of her going to Idaho or remaining in Utah is a great cross to her. I have had some notable strangers to visit me of late and have quite enjoyed their society. The company passed off admirably. Geo. Q. acquitted himself very handsomely in rendering assistance. [p. 198] {p. 201}

This morning wrote to Mrs. Julia Ward Howe and sent her a handsome bouquet of the very choicest and most fragrant flowers. I asked her in the note if she had any time she could give to Mormon women, Annie delivered it herself. Mrs. Howe had gone to the Lake with a party. This evening she spoke in the Grand Army Hall. Mell was invited to hear her and went. She was also introduced whereupon Mrs. Howe when she heard the name recalled that she had a letter of introduction to Mrs. Major Woods but had been told she lived out of town. She also spoke in the Congregational Church afterwards. It is quite an event to see Mrs. Howe [p. 199] {p. 202}

All day expecting a message from Mrs. Howe but none came John Q. came down from Ogden and went to the farm. I stayed intending to avail myself of any opportunity to see Mrs. Howe. The Tribune of this City published an article about me, and called Mrs. Howe’s attention to the fact that Mrs. Froseiths [Jennie Anderson Froiseth] name had been dropped & mine substituted in its place as Vice President of the National Suffrage Ass.’n for Utah.¹⁰ I waited in vain for any message from Mrs. Howe but later in the day I learned that she would speak Monday evening in the Congregational Church on Paris etc. Dr. Pratt intends to go but I shall not as it would be too conspicuous for me, knowing the enmity they have towards me as a Representative Mormon [p. 200] {p. 203}

All day busy at my work, yet thinking Mrs. Howe might call and quite prepared to receive her in my parlor if she chanced to call. No word, no message came, and I quite gave her up. One and another of the leading ladies would come in and all seemed to think it very strange as did I also. My work however keeps me very busy and I try to do so much that every moment is occupied & now that Annie is getting ready to go to Ogden I have to go down there as much as possible, for the place is very dear to me, as well as to her. I have promised to take Dr. Pratt and Emily Richards with me if there is an opportunity to call on Mrs. Howe. She is of course a celebrated woman. Dr. Pratt has gone tonight to hear her lecture [p. 201] {p. 204}

This morning on arriving I found a note from Julia Ward Howe written the day previous and telling me she would be pleased to receive me about 1/2 past four and could give me until six p.m. the dinner hour. I immediately ordered a handsome basket to be filled with the rarest and sweetest flowers. The Ladies Literary Club of which Mell is a member are going to give her a reception this afternoon. Mell is helping them to prepare for the event. Dr. Pratt and I called. I presented the basket which was certainly one of the most beautiful gifts one could possibly imagine. It was exquisitely arranged. We had a pleasant call and I hope made an agreeable impression in favor of our people– [p. 202] {p. 205}

This is the anniversary of the Martyrdom of Joseph & Hyrum Smith. It is also the last day Annie expects to be at the farm everything almost has been done, and packed up to go. She will sleep here tonight and tomorrow will leave on the morning train. The children feel the sentiment of their mother in their little hearts and especially George Q. who has the most intense feeling for all his pets on the farm. Bantams, turkeys, colts, calves pony, grey-prince and all the animals. I feel a strange tenderness for all there too– my sweet Louie was buried from there, though in the saddest and most heart-rending manner, yet it has given the home we call Solitude a charm indescribable for us all. [p. 203] {p. 206}

Annie went off early this morning in a carriage with all the children, and I felt very lonely indeed. Shortly after Mrs. Snow from Panguitch came and Mrs. Snow of this city with her.¹¹ They stayed a long time talking and then Br. [Arthur] Stayner came and introduced two Evangelist women, travelers, who make a practise of visiting prisons They seemed almost penniless and quite weary. I gave them money to get a dinner down town & they appeared very grateful one of them was very fine-looking and the other quite young. Spent the evening up at Mells with Verona and herself in reading and in conversation, the weather is very warm and nights scarcely endurable. fruit ripening very fast. [p. 204] {p. 207}

So lonesome for me busy preparing copy and reading proof, O, so very busy. The strangeness of being away from Annie and not having her company every day makes another break in my life. Talulah has been in to see me & is very sweet in every way. I shall miss Annie in a thousand ways. Perhaps I may have a little more time for writing. I have long wished to write one or two things I have in my mind to work up, but time always fails me. I have a poem begun and have given some of it to the typo’s but am in doubt about being able to finish it for this paper. Have had a letter from my husband brim full of loving words and wishes. I am exceedingly weary and sorrowful. Mell is very unhappy indeed. [p. 205] {p. 208}

I have been hurrying and bustling all day long to get ready to go up to Ogden, everything seemed to conspire to hinder me Mell is not well at all and I so dislike to leave her alone with only Verona who frets and rebels against her mother’s wishes and discipline. Still I feel I cannot always carry such heavy burdens and while I am traveling to and fro on the train alone, I am weaving in my mind little fragments into verse or song, and in doing this forget the troubles that weigh heavily upon me when in repose. I completed my calculations and came up on the 7,20 train. John Q. and Annie came to the depot with a carriage to meet me. [p. 206] {p. 209}