Thursday, January 1st, 1890.

A very quiet day on the cars. I had a comfortable section.

Friday, January 2nd, 1891.

Reached Ogden at 7:30. Was met at the train by my son John Q., who remained with me while I breakfasted and was shaved. The sleeper that I was in kept on to Salt Lake, where I was met by my son David, who drove me to the Gardo House. Found President Woodruff there, President Smith absent. We had him sent for, and I gave an account of my mission, which was quite satisfactory to them.

We have been endeavoring today to raise Z.C.M.I. stock as collateral upon which to borrow money in the east. I have promised $20,800. This stock stands in the names of my wives, who I know will be willing to let me have it for this purpose.

A dispatch was received by me to the effect that the credit of $50,000. which I had secured at the Pacific Bank had been effected and a letter of advice from the bank had been mailed today. This dispatch was sent by Brother Clawson.

I was very much gratified to learn from my son David that my family had commenced taking their meals in my schoolroom, which I have had arranged as a dining room, each branch having a separate table. I felt exceedingly grateful to the Lord this evening at seeing the sight that presented itself to me. All appeared happy and satisfied, and each of my wives expressed herself, and all the children also, as being greatly pleased with the arrangement. I will not be able myself to eat with them, as this would doubtless be considered a violation of the law; but whatever inconvenience there May be of this character it is nothing in comparison with the advantages of having the family united in this way. I can eat in the pantry, or off by myself, without much trouble; though all expressed their regret that I cannot sit at the table with them.

My aim in having my affairs arranged in this manner is to draw my family together. The tendency at the present time is to separate. The influence of the law, the circumstances which surround us, and the disposition which people naturally have to separate themselves and look after their individual interests, are of such a character that I feel there should be some example set in the opposite direction. Occupying the position that I do, it seems to me that it is my duty to make every effort to set an example to our people in this direction. The building of the kitchen and the arranging of the affairs connected with it has cost me considerable; but I feel that something of this kind should be done. So far it has been attended with the best of effects, and I feel that the Lord has approved the course that I have taken and that He will bless me in doing so. I shall be under the necessity, however, of doing this in a way not to expose myself to the attacks of our enemies. My son David will be the steward, and he will conduct the business as though it were in the interests of the women. I shall convey means to them for them to give to him to pay for their board, and have it done as though they themselves had combined to do this, and not I as the head of the family. In this way I hope to be able, should an investigation or an attack be made, to defend myself and clear myself from any accusation that might be made against me of holding out my plural family as my family.

Saturday, Jany. 3rd, 1891.

I spent the day at home attending to my own affairs. There is a great deal of work to be done, and I employed my sons doing it. When I left California Col. Trumbo and Bp. Clawson both thought that it would be attended with good effects for Mr. Parsons, the U.S. Marshal of our Territory, to visit California and have an interview with Enid. It was through Enid that he secured his appointment, and by seeing him he could tell him the line of policy that ought to be pursued. I promised to converse with the brethren about it when I reached home, as we would have to bear the expense. A dispatch was sent today suggesting that he should be invited to visit California. He had expressed a wish of this kind in a letter that he had sent to our friends in California.

“The Illustrated American”, which is said to have a wide circulation, has had two articles published upon Mormonism. The writer professes to be the oldest member of the church. This is one of the most villainous plots that I have ever known. Everything scandalous about us is embodied in these articles—that we are ready for war, etc. Coming from a professed Mormon, it is a most extraordinary communication; yet anyone familiar with our history will see that the writer is not a Mormon, for he betrays his ignorance of many points that a Mormon would understand. There is no doubt that these articles have been prepared by our enemies here.

A dispatch had been sent to Brothers Grant and Caine, asking them to wait upon the editors of the “American” and represent the wickedness of this publication. Brother Grant telegraphed that they had just had an interview with the assistant editor. He claims that all that they published in these articles has been published in books before, and that they can produce authority for everything they have published. There is another article to appear, under the head of “Fighting Apostles”. The assistant editor says they are perfectly willing to publish our side of the question, if Brother Grant would write anything and supply the necessary photographs for illustrations, they would publish it.

Sunday, Jany. 4th, 1891.

I attended meeting at the Tabernacle today, and suggested that Brother Andrew Jenson and Brother Joseph H. Dean occupy the time. Brother Jenson spoke for 25 mins. and Brother Dean for 35 mins. The latter’s description of his mission to Samoa was very interesting. I followed and spoke about 20 mins.

Monday, Jany. 5th,1891.

I had an interview with several of the heirs of President Young to ascertain what the condition of affairs is. I am anxious to have the incorporation that we have attempted to form carried out. Brother Rossiter reported that he had secured all the signatures of the heirs, excepting Luna Y. Thatcher, the wife of Geo. W. Thatcher, and Dora Young, the wife of a gentile lawyer named Hagan. Hagan will not permit his wife to sign. He is willing to sell out her share for $12,000. Geo. W. Thatcher will not permit his wife to sign until a claim that he asserts his wife has against the estate is settled. The nature of the claim is this: There was a piece of land near the Eagle Gate that fell to her, which he claims was charged $2000. more than its value. There was a great deal of feeling manifested by him at the time of settlement, and he seems to have nursed the matter ever since until it has grown to large proportions now. He talks, as I understand, very improperly concerning Brigham Young and myself, the two surviving executors; and he now claims this $2000 and interest compounded yearly—a most outrageous claim, in my estimation. But he is a man that I wish to have no trouble with, or, in fact, any business dealings, if I can avoid it, because my recollection of former business transactions warns me to have as little to do in this matter as possible. The brethren present felt that it was of importance that he should be settled with if possible, and it was decided that Brother Rossiter be sent there to see if he would accept stock for his claim, at the face value. It was also decided that Hagan should be bought out. I was willing myself, if I could raise the money, to give $11,000. for his wife’s share, in order to effect a settlement.

President Woodruff was quite sick today with something of the nature of bilious colic. He was administered to by President Smith and myself, and afterwards was taken home.

A man by the name of Varney, from Ogden, had an interview with President Woodruff this morning and related revelations which he had received, and which he said he had been told to communicate to President Woodruff. President Woodruff sent for me, and we both conversed with him. After hearing his statement I told him that it was all wrong; that it was just as near for the Lord, if he had a message for President Woodruff, to find President Woodruff as him. It was contrary to the order of the church for a man in his position to bring the word of the Lord to the President of the Church, the man who held the keys[.]

Tuesday, Jany. 6th, 1891.

My nephew, Geo. C. Lambert, called at my house this morning early. He was feeling badly because of remarks which had been made to him by President Jos. F. Smith yesterday at an informal meeting of the Deseret News Co. Brother Smith had stated that he thought George had not the faculty of governing men; he was too harsh and austere. George feels that Brother Smith has been prejudiced against him by things that have been told him. His son has been working in the Deseret News Office and has left, and George thinks that he has exerted an influence against him. I told him the better way would be for him, to arrange the matter, to pray to the Lord and then have an interview with President Smith and tell him all the facts about which he thought he was not correctly informed.

President Woodruff came to the office this morning feeling much better.

A letter of introduction was dictated by me in favor of Nephi W. Clayton, which the First Presidency signed, introducing him to Mr. S. H. H. Clark, Manager of the Union Pacific R.R. Brother Clayton had heard that the Union Pacific had decided not to do anything about laying track to the Inland Salt Co’s works and this would be a very serious matter for that company, and he thought that an interview with Mr. Clark might have the effect to show him the importance of the traffic.

I had a long interview with my sons Frank. J. & Abraham H., talking over business affairs.

I also met with the sugar company and attended to some business. I especially urged upon the brethren present the necessity of something being done to collect means. The payments were crowding upon us, and we must have money with which to run the business. It was suggested that we endeavor to employ Brother H. J. Grant in this business, so that we might be able to raise the necessary funds.

Brother John W. Young telegraphed to my son David, for him to show to us, as follows:

“For a loan of sixty thousand, ninety days, at six per cent, one renewal, Z.C.M.I. stock at seventy five percent, Wilford Woodruff and Geo. Q. Cannon’s note, and Zion’s Savings Bank account to be given Western National Bank. If my suggestions are followed. I can get them at least [one] hundred thousand dollars at the end of six months, and in a little while all the money needed at any time on low interest.”

Wednesday, Jany. 7th, 1891.

The First Presidency had a long conversation this morning concerning the best steps to be taken with a view to getting the gentiles who reside here to cease their opposition to the admission of Utah as a State. I talked very plainly upon the subject. I thought that we ought, if possible, to get the influence of the railroad companies which have lines in our Territory, in favor of Statehood for Utah, and also to develop among the gentiles a sentiment in favor of admission. If we could possibly get the influence of some gentile papers against the “Tribune” it would be of benefit. Brother A. W. Carlson, whom we have appointed as Trustee to hold the stock belonging to various individuals, which is to go east as collateral for the sixty thousand dollar loan that we wish, came up with a paper, which we signed, to show that he had delivered a certificate of 80,000 shares to us. The way this has been done is, all the individuals who have loaned this stock have handed it to Brother Carlson as trustee, and he had had a certificate made out for the correct amount in his favor as trustee, which he has endorsed. Presidents Woodruff, Smith and myself signed a note also for sixty thousand dollars, with interest at six per cent, in favor of the Western National Bank, and I dictated a letter to Brother Winter, to be sent to Brother John W. Young , explaining the whole business.

Attorneys F. S. Richards and LeGrand Young called in relation to the church suite now pending before the course of the Territory. They thought it would perhaps be a good move to test the courts in relation to <(this blank to be supplied)> President Woodruff was desirous to know my views about it, after they had made their statements, and I said that I thought it would be rather imprudent, under present circumstances, to agitate this question, because of affairs in Washington. We were doing our best there to prevent the passage of this bill which Edmunds had pushed through the Senate, ordering our property to be used for the common schools, and any action, I thought, at the present time by the courts might have an injurious effect upon our case and stir up our enemies to pass this bill. The brethren, after hearing my views, agreed with them.

We had a very plain conversation with Brother Richards, the Chairman of the People’s Party Committee, concerning the indebtedness to Andrew Burt. Brother Richards appreciated what was said to him and I believe took no exception to it.

At 1 o’clock the Board of Directors of Zion’s Savings Bank met.

Notwithstanding the narrow circumstances of the church, $5000. was appropriated at the instance of Brother Shurtliff, for the benefit of the church school building which is being erected at Ogden. President Woodruff seemed very reluctant to have this done, because he feels oppressed by the numerous calls which are being made upon us. Brother Jos. F. Smith, however, felt very much in favor of this, and his motion was that half of it be in cash and half in produce, to which President Woodruff finally consented, and Brothers Shurtliff and Stanford, who came in about it, felt very grateful.

I told President Woodruff that I did not wish to say much on these financial questions, because I saw how he was oppressed by them. I am naturally of a hopeful disposition, and I have not felt that our circumstances were so embarrassing as to prevent us from meeting pressing requirements, such as this appears to be. At the same time I know that money is very scarce.

We telegraphed to Brother John W. Young as follows:

“Sent to you by express today note and collateral security as requested as per telegram of yesterday. Wish the amount placed to the credit of Zion’s Savings Bank and Trust Co with Western National Bank there. We are writing full particulars.”

Thursday, Jany. 8th, 1891.

Soon after my arrival at the Gardo House this morning I received a note from President Woodruff informing me that his cough was so bad that he deemed it prudent to stay at home, and expressing the hope that we would be able to get through with the business without him.

Brother Penrose called in and read an article that he had prepared for President Woodruff to sign, to be sent to the “Illustrated American”, in contradiction of many of the false statements in the articles as published by that periodical. We approved of it, and I suggested that Brother Penrose had better take a buggy and go to President Woodruff’s residence and read it to him, which he did, and President Woodruff approved of it also.

Brother Geo. Halliday called to get some counsel concerning the circulation of Brother Daniel W. Jones’ book, “Forty Years among the Indians”. We told him that we could not advise him to favor the circulation of it, but that Brother Jones, like every other man, had the right to do what he could about selling his books. We could not interfere with that, although we did not think the book very reliable, and perhaps it would be well to say but little about it. Brothers John Henry Smith, A. H. Cannon and C. W. Penrose were in the office and I represented to them the condition of affairs in Washington and the efforts which are being made. I also suggested to Brother Penrose that the NEWS pursue a conciliatory course in its editorial articles, and not indulge in anything that would be likely to exasperate or create antagonisms. He agreed with my view, and at my request promised to talk to the other writers on the paper.

At 2 o’clock we held our usual meeting in an upper room. There were present: President Smith and myself, and Brothers John Henry Smith, John W. Taylor and A. H. Cannon. Brother Taylor was mouth in prayer, and Brother John Henry Smith in the circle. After this, I requested President Smith to lay before the brethren the condition of the Deseret News Co, and the general expression was that the company ought to be authorized to put its affairs in a better shape and organize a company on a bona fide basis.

Brother O. C. Hoskins was in once or twice asking counsel about various matters connected with his Stake.

I went to the theatre tonight with some of my children to witness a comic opera called “The Corsair”. It was a spectacular piece and was beautifully mounted: but there was too great a display of limbs.

Friday, Jany. 9th, 1891.

President Woodruff was well enough to come to the Gardo House today.

I felt deeply interested in the case of Sister Maria Dilworth Nebeker, the widow of Geo. Nebeker, and I requested the brethren, as a personal favor, that we appropriate $2000. for the relief of herself and family. My reasons for this are, that I am satisfied that she made considerable sacrifice in going on a mission to the Sandwich Islands some years ago, and in the settlement which was afterwards made with him she did not receive the return which the family thought she was entitled to, and which, I have reason to believe, was not as liberal as might be. The brethren granted this request.

I also brought up the case of Brother Trejo. I felt that this was a case that appealed strongly to us, and that something should be done to use him to better advantage than he is at present, working as a laborer on the Temple Block. Brother Trejo, when he first came to this country, was an officer in the Spanish army. He was returning from Manilla, Phillipine Islands, and was impressed to stay here. He introduced himself to me and was baptized. He has been a most patient and efficient laborer, has endured a wonderful number of hardships, and still seems strong in the faith. My sympathies are moved in his behalf.

Brother John Spencer, of Indianola, called and we appropriated $300. for the relief of himself and family. He gave us some interesting points connected with the Indians and their feelings.

Brother Geo. M. Brown, who is now living in Mexico, called upon us and showed us a plot of a new purchase which he, Brother Macdonald, Erastus Beck, F. G. Williams and Winslow Farr had made in Mexico. I expressed myself to the effect that I had no objection to their getting settlers to go there who were in jeopardy because of their family relations, but I did not think it a wise thing for monogamists to go there and weaken our voting strength in the Territory. Presidents Woodruff and Smith took the same view. Brother Brown told us that he did not wish to get settlers of that kind.

Saturday, Jany. 10th, 1891.

Busy at home and dictated my journal and other matters to Brother A. Winter.

Sunday, Jany. 11th, 1891.

I am sixty four years old today, and several of my family made me presents. I was greatly pleased to receive the congratulations of my wives and children in the dining room today, all of whom wished me much joy and many happy returns of the day.

At 2 o’clock I went to the Ward meeting house. A number of my family also went. Brothers F. S. Richards and James McGhie were the missionaries appointed to the Ward. They spoke to the people. They were desirous that I should occupy the time, but I urged them to speak. We had an excellent meeting. I followed them and spoke about 15 mins. The house was crowded. Everyone is meeting in the Ward meeting houses today, on account of some changes being made in the heating apparatus of the Tabernacle.

Monday, Jany. 12th, 1891.

Brother Trejo came in today and we had some conversation with him respecting the labors that we felt he should perform. It was decided that, if there were no obstacles, he should teach a class in Spanish at the Salt Lake College.

Brother Caine telegraphed that Gov. Thomas was in Washington, and he and ex-Gov. West were urging action on the disfranchisement bill.

We heard a report of the condition of affairs at Deseret from Brother Virgil Kelley, who has been the First Counselor to Bishop Black at that place. He describes matters as being in a bad condition, and that some change should be made to bring about greater union.

Tuesday, Jany. 13th, 1891.

I met, in company with President Woodruff, Mr. Tennant, an English Gentleman, whose sister married Mr. H. M. Stanley, the explorer. Mr. Stanley and his wife expect to be here sometime in March.

Prest. Abram Hatch called and made some explanation to President Jos. F. Smith, while I was out, concerning his attitude and the counsel he had given regarding unlawful cohabitation cases in his Ward. He felt that injustice had been done him by reports that had been brought here.

We received a telegram to the effect that prospects for the election of Enid as U.S. Senator in the event of Senator Hearst’s death, which was very imminent, were very bright; and Bishop Clawson, who sent it, said that Tobias had spent considerable of his own means, and wanted to know if we could help. At the request of the brethren I framed a reply, saying that we did not well know what we should do in such a case, but that we were willing to furnish $5000. I also telegraphed to Bp. Clawson to the effect that anything that I could do personally I would gladly do, as I feel under obligations to him for the active steps he has taken in securing a promise from the Attorney General that he would dismiss my bond suits.

We had an interview with Brothers F. S. Richards, Wm. H. King and J. W. Summerhays, members of the Territorial Central Committee, concerning the collection of funds in order to aid in the political campaign that will result in the election of members of the Legislature. The brethren feel that active steps should be taken towards getting every person belonging to our people naturalized, who had not been naturalized, and who were eligible. We agreed with them, but said there should be other steps taken, we thought, towards the raising of the funds. A meeting of leading men—27 in number—was held in the front parlor of the Gardo House at 2 o’clock, and at President Woodruff’s request I laid before them the object in calling them together. I read to them extracts from the letter that we had received concerning the lobbyists in Washington, who are doing all they can to get unfavorable legislation for us—five or six of them, and not one working in our interest there. I alluded also to the dispatches that had been received showing how determined these people were to get this disfranchisement bill through. I described what the results would be if they were successful. I also read a circular that had been issued by O. W. Powers, Chairman of the Liberal Territorial Committee, and signed by C. E. Allen, the Secretary, calling upon all the gentiles to forward funds in order that they might maintain men at Washington to secure such legislation as they needed. This circular is very artfully worded and appeals to the fears of all the newcomers and everyone who is interested in real estate, asserting that if the plans of the Latter-day Saints are successful, values will be depreciated and there will be great loss to the people.

After this President Woodruff made some remarks confirming what I had said, and then there was discussion as to the course to be taken. Finally a subscription was taken up, and a little over $1000. was subscribed. The meeting pledged itself, however, to be responsible for any expense that would be necessary to send five men such as the First Presidency would select to Washington to represent our cause and to do all in their power to prevent legislation with which we are threatened.

There was an excellent spirit at the meeting. Brother John W. Taylor, after I had spoken about the plan of having monthly collections towards the Defense Fund, spoke very strongly in favor of it, and said he would be glad to take a mission for six months or a year in the Territory, with one of the Twelve or somebody that might be appointed, and he would guarantee, he said, that all the money we wanted could be raised in this way.

The First Presidency felt that he should have the mission if he so desired. A great many of the brethren present offered to pay so much per month regularly, rather than be called upon for large sums at a time; and if this plan were carried out it was felt that it would make the burden more general, instead of it being borne by a few as at present. It is a plan that I have been very much in favor of, and for two months past have taken up contributions in my own family for that purpose.

While we were in meeting a fire broke out in the Co-op Furniture store, in what is known as the Hooper & Eldredge building, and close to Z.C.M.I. It had been burning for an hour before we knew anything about it, when a messenger came summoning Brother Webber, Brother Rowe and Brother Spencer Clawson. We were on the point of adjourning when the word came, and the news excited everybody and they left very quickly.

The fire was raging all the remainder of the afternoon and evening, but was finally extinguished, though not before there was considerable damage done to the Co-op Furniture store and Barton & Co’s, their stock being entirely destroyed, and the rooms above were damaged.

I did not subscribe anything to Brother Taylor, because I have already paid $100. to this Fund, and am subscribing every month in my family much more than the proportion the other brethren subscribed this afternoon. Besides, I have had some thought that I should aid Enid in his election perhaps one or two thousand dollars. This I explained to the meeting, so that they would understand my reason for not putting my name down.

Wednesday, Jany. 14th, 1891.

I made a trade this morning with my son Abraham for his place for my daughter Mary Alice. She and her husband were making a trade with Abraham for his place. He asked a piece of land that she had and $2500. I spoke to Abraham and to David, Emily and Sylvester, and also to John Q. at Ogden through the telephone, and asked them if they would be willing, in view of Mary Alice’s attention and the care she had exercised since the death of her mother, to allow her $1000. out of their mother’s estate. I felt that she would appreciate it very much, and that it would be a very nice present to her, under the circumstances. She was only a little over 14 years old when her mother died and she has managed affairs with remarkable success, considering her youth and inexperience, and has governed that part of my family as well as any part of my family has been governed, the younger children paying her great respect, and she exercising a motherly influence over them. All felt that it would be a pleasure to let her have that amount. I intend to let her have another $1000., so that this would leave only $500. for her to add to make up the amount, and this $500. she has, I having given it to her as her part of the value of the land that her mother received from her father’s city lot, upon which her Aunt Emily is now living. This will make it easy for her to obtain the place, and the title can stand in her name. Abraham proposes to take a piece of land that I have lying on the river behind the piece he buys of Mary Alice, and close to his old place, for that, and to allow me $2500. besides; that is, the piece I give him he values at $5000. $2500. he takes on the place he sells, and $2500. he gives to me.

I dictated letters and journal to Brother Winter.

Brothers Rossiter and Spencer Clawson called in relation to a letter received from Brother Geo. W. Thatcher concerning his wife’s signature. He demands $5000., at 10% interest, payable in one year, and if this is not accepted immediately, he says the offer is not to run long. The point in this to which the brethren object is that he will not accept a note which they propose to give, having as a condition that the incorporation should proceed. He wants a negotiable note. He claims that it is his wife’s right to have this settlement, and demands it. On the other hand, the heirs feel that it is wrong to ask them to settle this claim unless the incorporation is effected; that all that makes them consent to give the money at all is their anxiety to have the incorporation effected. They do not recognize, neither do I, that there is the least justice in the claim; but to have peace and this matter accomplished, they are willing to do this. I said to the brethren that so far as I was concerned I was willing to take the risk and sign a note such as he requested, for the sake of peace and a settlement; but I would not do so if I had the least idea that there would be any failure.

At 1 o’clock the Board of Directors of Zion’s Savings Bank held their meeting. I read an article for the JUVENILE which I had written concerning angels and ministering spirits, to Presidents Woodruff and Smith, both of whom felt to endorse every word that I had written.

Snow is falling and it will do the country good. There has been very little rain or snow now for a long time; in fact, it is the dryest winter I ever saw in this country.

I had a visit this morning from Brother Wm. H. Shearman. He is very anxious to carry out the suggestions which were made looking to the promotion of more harmony among the people of the city, and we talked over the line of policy to be pursued.

Thursday, Jany. 15th, 1891.

My son David comes up with me every morning and drives me to the Gardo House.

President Woodruff’s health is much improved. Brother Smith also enjoys excellent health, considering the way he is confined.

At 10 o’clock there was a meeting of the sugar company. The situation of the company was seriously discussed. We are in a position that requires some thorough action on our part to raise the necessary funds to meet our engagements. The 1st of Feby is approaching, when $50,000. must be forthcoming to meet our contract. The building has been erected sufficiently to receive the joists for the second floor. A great many bills have to be met for work done and for material. We also need funds with which to purchase seed, which will have to be imported from Germany; and here we are on Jany. 15th with scarcely a dollar in our hands to meet all these things. There was considerable conversation upon the subject, and as we had other engagements we made an adjournment until 3 o’clock.

At 1 o’clock there was a meeting of the Board of Directors of Z.C.M.I. at the Gardo House, and there was a full board present with the exception of P. T. Farnsworth. The monthly statement was read, a quarterly dividend was declared, and a statement was made of the condition of the finances, which was quite good, considering the stringency of the times. Brother Grant then described the result of his trip to the East to raise money to help the institution meet its obligations. He has raised $165,000. for Z.C.M.I. From his description of the condition of the money market in New York, it is evident that the Lord has blessed him in his operations. Men with securities much better known than those he had to offer, and to whom the banks were under greater obligations, failed to obtain money where he had obtained it. I moved that the institution pay Brother Grant’s expenses and award him such compensation as would be suitable, and also that we tender him a vote of thanks. This was carried. Brother Grant withdrew from the room while the Board discussed the amount that should be paid. $500. was mentioned, and a motion was made that we should pay him that. Brother Jos. F. Smith objected to the amount, though, he said, he valued Brother Grant’s services very highly; but he was opposed on principle to our rewarding such large sums for services, stating that there should be some patriotism about this and a disposition to help the institution, and referred to the disposition which is being shown for everyone to be paid for everything they did. He alluded to remarks which I had made concerning the directors being remunerated for their services. This was in response to a remark of mine that I thought if we were going to retrench we should commence with the Board. There was considerable conversation. Brother Moses Thatcher had differed with Brother Grant on some points and thought that the State Bank, with which Brother Grant was connected, was not deserving the credit which Brother Grant claimed for it. Various remarks that were made called me to my feet, although I felt that we were trespassing on the time of our regular weekly meeting of the First Presidency and Twelve. I said I had always been opposed to the Directors receiving remuneration for their services. I had been on the Board from the beginning, and until after President Taylor’s death I had never received a cent in payment for services. After his death the Board was increased from 9 to 13, and salaries were given to members of the Board, and, in addition, to the Executive Committee. I myself did not believe that this was a good plan, and was ready to make a motion now, and to vote for it, that we dispense with these salaries, and that we work gratuitously. What I did think was wrong and dangerous was our method of paying tithing for the stockholders—a practice which when it was established was safe enough, because our circumstances were entirely different then to what they are now; but now I feared that we should have trouble from this, unless we changed our plan, because there were stockholders in our institution who were not members of our church, and who might make this a reason, if they became dissatisfied, for attacking us, and I believed the courts would appoint a receiver if that fact were made plain, that we take a tenth of the profits of the institution and gave it to the church. However much the members of the church might be willing, it was not safe. There was danger also from another source; that is, estates that had stock where there were minor children. These minor children could institute suits, when they reached their majority, against the institution for that, and I thought that some plan ought to be devised to correct this. Brother Smith in his remarks had stated that the reasons for allowing the directors salary was that it was feared that after the death of some of them their heirs might set up a claim for services rendered on the Board, and it might give us trouble, and he thought that I was the one who had urged this. I said I had not done that. I had never heard of it until the present. The action giving the directors salary had been taken in my absence, and I had had no voice in it.

After considerable discussion it was decided to allow Brother Grant $500. for his trip and pay his expenses, which amounted to about $150.

In consequence of the manner in which our time was occupied, we postponed our regular prayer meeting.

At 3 o’clock I met with the sugar company, and I moved that there be a committee of three to devise measures by which funds could be raised to enable us to fulfill our contracts. Brother Smoot moved that the chair appoint this committee, and he selected Heber J. Grant, Moses Thatcher and L. G. Hardy. Both Brothers Grant and Thatcher said that they thought I ought to be the Chairman of the Committee. I told them I would act with pleasure on the committee if they would release me from the chairmanship; but Brother Grant, especially, was desirous that I should act as chairman, and I consented at last to do so. Brothers Smoot, Thatcher, Grant, Hardy, Chipman and myself agreed to furnish collateral for $5000. and give our notes on as long time as we could get, and it was thought that perhaps a hundred men could be found who would do likewise. I made an appointment with the committee to meet tomorrow morning at the Gardo House.

I had an interview today with Brother F. S. Richards upon the subject of his going to Washington to labor to counteract the efforts of our enemies there. He afterwards came up and the First Presidency, and we told him our wishes. He was quite desirous that my son Frank should go to Washington on this business also. President Woodruff had expressed a desire, too, to have him go; but I have thought that he could not leave the business of the “Standard” without some danger.

Friday, Jany. 16th, 1891.

Brothers M. Thatcher, H. J. Grant and L. G. Hardy met with me at the Gardo House this morning, and we put down a number of names of persons whom we thought likely to be willing to furnish collateral and their notes for $5000. each in favor of the sugar company.

President Woodruff expressed a wish to have a social gathering, to shake off some of the feelings that oppress him through the calls made upon him for money, and when I entered the room, he and President Smith and Brothers Grant and Wilcken were discussing the matter. After they mentioned it to me, I proposed that they come to my house and I would give them a dinner and we could have a dance afterwards, which they acceded to with apparent pleasure. Brother Grant said he would furnish carriages. Brother Wilcken made out a list of names. I proposed to give them all a dinner; but the brethren protested, as there were so many. It struck me that perhaps I would be taking upon myself too great a burden, so I decided to make a dinner for the First Presidency, the Twelve and the Presiding Bishopric, the dinner to take place at 4 in the afternoon of Thursday, the 22nd inst, and the other persons to be invited to be there at 6 o’clock, dancing to commence at that time. I expect to arrange for refreshments to be handed round about 9 o’clock.

Mr. Frank Kimball, who is the bank examiner under the Secretary of the Territory, had an interview with the Board of Directors of Zion’s Savings Bank and made a number of suggestions to us concerning the method of conducting the business of that institution. I have felt very uneasy for some time respecting the personnel of the bank and I think it is not conducted in a business-like manner. There is inefficient help. I fear that Brother Schettler, while he has been able to manage a small concern as this was in former years, May not be able to grasp it now and to conduct it successfully. The facts communicated to us by Mr. Kimball were of such a character as to increase the feeling of uneasiness that I had. I am satisfied that something must be done to put it into better shape. The securities, he says, are good, but the books and the business are kept in bad shape, and it takes him three days to do what might be done in an hour. There have been some remarks concerning Brother Schettler accepting a bonus from men who have gone there to borrow, and who could not get the loan without giving a bonus. I thought upon hearing this that the bonus must have been for money entrusted to him by other parties to loan, and that it could not be monies of the bank; but even this is objectionable, because some months ago his salary was increased with the distinct understanding that all outside business must be stopped, and that he must confine his labors during business hours exclusively to bank business, and not as an agent for any other person. Some statements were made concerning his conduct which I trust May be exaggerated, and we made up our minds to suspend all judgment in the matter till we knew; but it is evident that there must be a change.

After the withdrawal of Mr. Kimball, the members of the Board had a long conversation on the subject, and we all felt that the business was of so serious a nature that it could not be trifled with. We have in our hands in the vicinity of eight hundred thousand dollars of the people’s money. While in our meeting Brother Heber J. Grant came in and took me aside and said that he had learned from a private source that it was the intention of the Deseret National Bank to enlarge its capital to a million dollars. He felt that the policy pursued by that bank was not so favorable in many respects as it might be, and he suggested a plan which he has dwelt upon several times—the amalgamation of the State Bank, of which he is president, with Zion’s Savings Bank, on some mutually satisfactory terms, and the increasing of our capital stock, so that we might be in the field and do a proper share of the business, and under proper influences. This proposition coming to me on the heels of the other meeting found me prepared to entertain it very favorably, and I said to him that I was ready to do all in my power to effect such a combination, whenever a basis had been sufficiently matured to talk about.

I attended a meeting of the Sunday School Union.

After President Woodruff had left the Gardo House a dispatch was received from Deming, informing us that the teams were there awaiting our arrival, and asking what day they would be needed. In President Woodruff’s absence, President Smith and myself decided to inform them that we would leave here on the 24th, and that we would probably reach Deming about Feby. 8th, and asking if the teams would accommodate twelve persons and baggage. We thought it would be more convenient and proper for us, in going down, to call and visit the saints in the Arizona Stakes, as it was felt that the saints there would feel very much grieved if we did not make them a visit while we were down there, and upon examination it was thought better to do this as we went than as we returned.

Saturday, Jany. 17th, 1891.

Dictated my journal and letters to Brother Winter, also got out invitations for the party to be held on Thursday.

Had an interview with a number of the heirs of President Young in relation to the interest of Dora, the daughter of President Young who married Mr. Hagan. It was decided that Brother Rossiter should start as soon as he could receive word from Mr. Hagan as to the terms upon which he would dispose of his wife’s share. He has resolved not to sign, but has offered to sell for $12,000. Brother Rossiter was authorized to telegraph him and offer $11,000, $3000, paid down and the remainder in three notes. It was thought better to do this, so as to get a definite understanding as to what he would do before going there.

Sunday, Jany. 18th, 1891.

My son David took me to the cars this morning, and I left for Ogden at 8:10. I was met there by Brother Shurtliff, who took Brother Seymour B. Young and myself to the tabernacle. The morning was cold and raw, but there was a very good congregation considering the weather. Brother Middleton, first counselor to Prest. Shurtliff, opened the conference, after singing and prayer, by giving a report of the condition of the various wards in the Stake. After he had finished, Elder S. B. Young was called upon to speak, and I followed. I enjoyed a most excellent flow of the spirit. I spoke for 40 mins.

Brothers Franklin D. Richards, S. B. Young, Brother Shurtliff’s counselors and myself were invited by Brother Shurtliff to take dinner at his house.

In the afternoon, after the administration of the sacrament, the brethren all expressed a wish to have me speak and occupy the time, as I would not be able to remain till the next day. I felt as though I had no word in me to speak when I arose, but I obtained freedom and enjoyed myself.

Brother Shurtliff took me in his buggy to my son John Q’s. He was out at some private meeting on political matters and did not return while I stayed. I took dinner with my daughter-in-law, and was carried by my grandson, Geo. Q. in a carriage to the station. Just as we started my son John Q. came down to the platform, but too late for me to say anything to him.

My son Lewis met me at the depot in Salt Lake.

Monday, Jany. 19th, 1891.

Brother Geo. C. Parkinson, of the Oneida Stake, came down and applied to us for help to pay off the debts on the Church academy which they were erecting. After some conversation, we made an appropriation of $2000. in produce, merchandise, etc, that is in the Stake, towards helping them in this labor.

The First Presidency also had a meeting with F. S. Richards, W. H. King, C. W. Penrose concerning political matters. Brother H. G. Grant came in during the discussion. They desired to obtain Brother Joshua H. Paul, now one of the writers on the Herald, to go south to help organize the People’s Party and to make arrangements for the naturalization of men who had not been naturalized, in order to get the full strength of our party in line for the coming August election, which is a very important one for us. It was decided to change the name of the Defense Fund on account of the meaning that has been attached to it by the lies of our enemies, and call it a monthly free will offering. It was decided also that Brothers F. S. Richards and W. H. King should go to Washington to labor in the defense of our rights and to use all the influence possible to have the disfranchisement bill defeated.

I expressed my views concerning Brother Penrose. His name had been mentioned as being a suitable person to go to Washington. He is very effective both in speaking and writing but I suggested that in view of the departure of the First Presidency from the city it might not be wise to take him from the News, where his services are much needed. I asked, will we not likely need his assistance here and the benefit of his experience in political matters? President Woodruff took this same view. Brother Penrose expressed himself as being perfectly satisfied at the decision.

Brother Wm. H. Shearman suggested, in a note to me, that Brother Abram Hatch would be a good man to go. My son Abraham was commissioned by President Woodruff to find Brother Hatch and ask him if he would not take a mission to Washington and bear his own expenses, to be credited to him on Defense Fund. We had a call today from G. A. Sachse, Director of the Post and Telegraph System of the German Empire, and a Mr. Petzold, his companion. They were introduced by Postmaster Benton of this city. They expressed a desire to Mr. Benton to have an interview with President Woodruff and myself, and he took the liberty of bringing them up.

We read the proceedings in the case of [first and last name redacted] and [first and last name redacted], of [location redacted] County, and after hearing all the minutes it was decided that [first and last name redacted] be requested to make amends for his conduct towards Sister [last name redacted] and make a satisfactory acknowledgment to the people, confessing his sins and repenting of them, or that he be cut off from the church.

My son David rode down with me as usual tonight.

Tuesday, Jany. 20th, 1891.

The First Presidency had an interview with Brother John W. Taylor concerning the collection of this monthly freewill offering, and gave him counsel respecting the care which should be taken in talking to the people.

My son Abraham called and reported his success in arranging with Brother Hatch for him to take a mission to Washington, and shortly afterwards Brother Hatch himself came in and we explained to him in greater detail what we wanted. He expressed his willingness to go, though he thought he would scarcely be able to get away with Brothers Richards and King.

President Woodruff and myself and Brother F. D. Richards had a lengthy interview with the representative women of the Woman’s Suffrage, the Relief Societies and the Young Ladies Mutual Associations, concerning representatives of these various organizations going to Washington to attend the National Suffrage Convention that is to be held there on the 22nd of Feby. next. We had a good deal of conversation and we approved of these societies sending down suitable representatives if they could furnish the delegates with the means to pay their way.

We had an interview with Brother M. G. Trejo concerning the teaching of a Spanish class in our college. We agreed to pay him $75. per month.

As the First Presidency, we signed two notes, of $6000. each, in behalf of Z.C.M.I.

Wednesday, Jany. 21st, 1891.

My son David brought me up in the buggy. I found the brethren of the Presidency in the office.

A dispatch has been received from Brother Caine, stating that Governor Thomas and ex-Gov. West have apparently accomplished nothing in Washington, and everything relating to our affairs is quiet.

In order that our friends in California might know what we are doing, the information was telegraphed to Bp. Clawson that Brothers F. S. Richards, W. H. King and Abram Hatch have been selected to go to Washington.

We had an interview with Brothers LeGrand Young and F. S. Richards in regard to a certain decree which Le Grand Young had written concerning the property of the church, which as now written prevents the Receiver from doing anything in relation to the Council House corner. The ex-Receiver and his attorney, P. L. Williams, claim that they were taken advantage of in this decree. Williams says that he trusted entirely to Brother Young as he would not have trusted to an ordinary person, and protests against the decree standing in its present form. The question arose as to whether we should suffer it to be attacked and set aside by the court, or whether we should consent to having it changed. Brother Jos. F. Smith, thinking it was the decree concerning the entire property, opposed our consenting to have it changed; but after he understood that it was not that decree it seemed to change the matter in his mind, though he did not even then express himself favorable to the change. I felt that as we could not defend it and it placed Brother Young in a bad position we had better perhaps get the benefit of being magnanimous in this instance than to have the impression made that we were ready to take advantage. As, however, it was not necessary to come to a decision upon this point just now, the matter was laid over.

Brother F. S. Richards was set apart by the First Presidency, Brother Smith being mouth, for his mission to Washington.

At 12:30 President Smith and myself met with the Deseret News Co. and attended to several items of business; among others I dictated a letter to Brother Evans, our secretary, to be addressed to the First Presidency and Council of Apostles, giving our views concerning the action that should be taken in relation to the paper mill.

I afterwards met with the Directors of Zion’s Savings Bank.

The First Presidency had an interview with Brother W. R. Shearman upon the subject of endeavoring to get the “Times” newspaper, which is owned by non-Mormons, to urge the impolicy and unfairness of disfranchising the Mormon people and to oppose the plans of the “Tribune”. They are disposed, so Brother Shearman informs us, to take this course; but at the same time do not in the least degree favor our religion. They believe, however, that we should have our rights. We were quite willing, we said, to help sustain the paper, if the management would take this course.

Thursday, Jany. 22nd, 1891.

The First Presidency had considerable business in the forenoon, and at one o’clock we met with the Apostles, there being present, Brothers F. D. Richards, F. M. Lyman, John H. Smith, H. J. Grant and A. H. Cannon. As President Woodruff and myself did not feel like clothing in our temple apparel, the circle was not formed. President Woodruff desired me to offer prayer.

We received a dispatch today from Brother H. B. Clawson informing us that Enid, especially, of our California friends was very much surprised to hear of our intended departure for Mexico. He felt that the present was a very critical time. He had been writing and telegraphing to all his friends in Washington concerning the situation and working with all his zeal, and the thought of our going away struck him unpleasantly, because he felt that we might be needed. Upon reading the dispatch we considered it seriously, and President Woodruff felt, as did all of us, that it would be better for us to postpone our departure for the present. A dispatch to this effect was sent to San Francisco, and dispatches were also sent to the brethren in the south. I reached home about 3:30 and assisted my family in making the preparations for the dinner to the brethren. My wife Carlie was attacked this morning before daylight with a most excruciating pain. It seemed as though it would kill her if she did not get relief. I got the word before I was quite dressed, and I immediately went over and she was suffering great agony. I administered to her several times, and went away and returned again before I went to town. I found her a little easier, but still in great pain. She had got out of bed and was sitting in a chair. I administered to her again. Her mother had been sent for and was with her, and my wife Sarah Jane also. They thought it would be well to have her cousin, Dr. S. B. Young, come down to see her. She told me, however, that she did not suffer any pain after she was administered to the last time. Dr. Young said it was renal calcali that troubled her. In consequence of her sickness, as she had had the general charge of the dinner, there were several things that I had to attend to. But it passed off excellently. The only regret I had was that a good many whom I had invited were not there. But those who were there enjoyed the meal very much. They were Presidents Woodruff and Smith; Elders F. D. Richards, F. M. Lyman, John H. Smith, H. J. Grant and A. R. Cannon, of the Twelve; Bishops Preston and Winder, and Sisters Jannings and Amelia F. Young. All the Presidency and Twelve had their wives with them, excepting Brother Lyman and my son Abraham. Brother John McDonald came in, he having been invited to the dance, when we were about half through the dinner. He was accompanied by his son. I insisted on their eating with us. I was very glad to have the opportunity of having Brother McDonald eat, for he had been exceedingly kind to us while we were on the “underground” and while I was in prison.

At a little after six the company arrived who had been invited to the dance. Tables had been cleared from the dining room, chairs arranged, and a platform for the musicians. Three sets were able to dance at one time on the floor. The music was of a very fine character, and the guests enjoyed themselves exceedingly, so they said.

About 9 o’clock I had a table brought in with refreshments spread on it, which all seemed to enjoy. The party continued till 11 o’clock. My son David took charge of the floor, and everything connected with the party. Brother Seymour B. Young opened the dance by prayer, and Brother Preston blessed the refreshments, and Bp. L. G. Hardy dismissed by prayer.

Friday, Jany. 23rd, 1891.

Sister Heber J. Grant came in this morning, and there was a number of the Twelve present. She desired to be administered to. We administered to her, and I was mouth. It is seldom that I felt more power in administering to a person that [than] I did to her. It seemed as though I had electricity in me, and she said that she felt as never before in being administered to. Her condition is precarious; she is suffering from dyspepsia.

There was a meeting held of the trustees under the incorporation of the estate of President Young, in order to take the necessary steps to put the organization into effect, as all the signatures of the heirs had been obtained, and there were only two signatures lacking—those of Sister Harriet Cook Young and Sister Eliza B. Young. I afterwards went over with Oscar and secured the signature of Harriet.

The First Presidency and Twelve had a meeting at 11 o’clock. There were present: the First Presidency, President L. Snow, F. D. Richards, F. M. Lyman, J. H. Smith, H. J. Grant and A. H. Cannon. We had considerable conversation on the question of raising funds for the sugar factory—whether we as authorities of the church should take hold of that business and obtain the money by borrowing until money became less stringent and the people could raise it. As it was desirable that all the Apostles who could be reached should be present to give their views upon this question, a meeting was appointed for 11 o’clock next Wednesday.

I afterwards attended a meeting of the Deseret Sunday School Union.

Saturday, Jany. 24th, 1891.

News reached me this morning of the death of Sister Lucy Decker Young, one of President Young’s wives, who died this morning. I visited her early in the week and administered to her, and though she was weak I scarcely thought that her end was so near. I fully expected to go to Brigham City today to attend the conference there, but upon reaching town and learning that it was the intention to hold her funeral services tomorrow at 2 o’clock I felt that I should stop, as my relations with President Young, and being an executor of his estate, made it very proper for me to be present.

Our cook has been sick, and we miss his help; but the folks I think can get along very well today and tomorrow, as there is a good deal of food cooked. I see that they all like our present arrangements for eating, and they miss this personage, as he is quite an important factor now in our household economy.

Sunday, Jany. 25th, 1891.

I gathered my children together this morning in the dining room and had a very plain and satisfactory talk with them concerning their lives and the course I desired them to pursue.

My son David took me in my buggy up to Sister Rossiter’s house, where Sister Lucy D. Young died. The house was crowded with mourners. I overheard Brother Heber Young, a son of Sister Young’s, say to the Bishop that they desired the services to be short, and as Brother O. F. Whitney had been invited to speak I requested him to occupy the time, though he told me that the family had said that they wished not more than he and myself to speak. I followed the corpse to the graveyard, and she was buried in President Young’s private burial ground.

I have not felt well today and am rather pleased that my journey to Brigham City was interfered with, as I feel that a rest will do me good.

Monday, Jany. 26th, 1891.

I received a letter this morning from the West, giving me a description of the situation of affairs and informing me that our friends there were afraid that our sending delegates to Washington to work against measures pending might have the effect to stir up our enemies to increased activity. I was informed that they were doing all that was necessary to stop all the bills inimical to us, and they were doing it from a political standpoint and not because of any feeling of favor towards us. After receiving this it was decided that we had better stop Brother Abram Hatch from going, as he expected to start in the morning. We also sent a dispatch to Brother John T. Caine, suggesting that our delegates do not appear too prominently in the field.

I had an interview with Brother Wm. R. Shearman concerning securing non-Mormon influence against disfranchisement. Afterwards the First Presidency met with him.

The First Presidency had an interview with Prest. William Paxman, of Nephi, and Brother I. M. Waddell concerning the organization of Relief Societies. Nephi desired to have two distinct organizations. The policy has been to incorporate the Relief Societies with the ecclesiastical ward corporations. We discussed this matter and came to the conclusion that it would be well to have a distinct organization for the female relief societies, and in order to save multiplying organizations, to have one central board in a city or Stake, and each society send representatives there.

Tuesday, Jany. 27th, 1891.

I had an interview with my son Frank this morning. He related to me the condition of affairs in Ogden. They have succeeded in dividing the Liberals there, and there has a number of them come out as an independent party and have made selections of officers. They are willing to put two of our people on their ticket, and are very desirous that Frank should be one of these, and Brother Thomas D. Dee the other. The objection that I saw, and that Frank also saw, to this is that as they are both on the committee it might be suspected that they had sold themselves out in some form to these people in order to get the nomination, and there would be no way that they could very well explain this. I thought it was not right for him to put himself in such a position. But to be sure, I brought him in to where Presidents Woodruff and Smith were, and they felt the same, and that it would be injurious to the interests of the “Standard”.

I had a long interview with Mr. McCold, a son of Hon. M. A. McCold, of Iowa, with whom I served in Congress some years. He brought me a letter of introduction from his father, and I promised to write him some letters introducing him to some of our people.

At 1 o’clock the Board of Directors of Zion’s Savings Bank met and had a very full and free meeting. Afterwards we went over the condition of the Bank and the propriety of forming some sort of a connection that would be mutually satisfactory with the State Bank of Utah.

Brothers Wm. A. Rossiter and Geo. M. Cannon were added to the Finance Committee. In the afternoon I met with the Co-operative Wagon and Machine Co. I have been elected one of the Directors of this company without my knowledge, and though I am willing to do all I can in such matters I feel that acting on these boards takes too much of my time, and I really am inclined to refuse to accept appointments of this character; but for the present I shall let it remain as it is.

Wednesday, Jany. 28th, 1891.

Brother Ben E. Rich called this morning at the Gardo House, he having come down from Ogden by request to lay before us the case of my son Frank and his accepting office there. He said he had come down without the knowledge of Frank. He said all felt that Frank ought to run on the independent ticket. He could poll more votes than any man, Brother Rich said, in the city, and could do more than three men if he were elected in the Council, because of his influence and his manner of doing things. Brother Rich said that Frank had peremptorily and unqualifiedly declined to accept the nomination. Conversation ensued. I said but little, but afterwards I stated my objection to be that I thought it would be very apt to injure him unless some explanation could be made to the people. Brother Rich said that all the captains of the political clubs knew about it, and he felt certain that there could be no injury done. Brother Jos. F. Smith was very strong also on this point. He said he did not wish Frank to be put in a false position and his influence injured. It was finally decided to leave the matter to Frank and the brethren, and if he could run without being injured we had no objections.

At 11 o’clock the First Presidency and Elders L. Snow, F. D. Richards, M. Thatcher, F. M. Lyman, J. H. Smith, J. W. Taylor and A. H. Cannon, of the Twelve, met in the Gardo House, with Brother Geo. Reynolds as clerk.

President Woodruff requested me to open the meeting by prayer, which I did. He then made some remarks, stating the purpose for which we had met—to consider our financial condition and what steps should be taken by us in view of the responsibilities resting upon us.

Brother Lorenzo Snow arose and spoke with some feeling, and said that it was a time of all others when we should be united. He alluded to the divisions which had existed among the ancient apostles, through which they had not prospered. He said that in our day it ought not to be so, and that he wished perfect union to exist between the members of the quorum over which he presided and the quorum of the First Presidency, and before going into business he was in favor of learning from the First Presidency and from the brethren whether there were any feelings existing in any of their breasts that would interfere with our perfect union.

This brought President Woodruff to his feet. He spoke very plainly and stated some of his feelings. In the course of his remarks he mentioned Brother Thatcher and said that he had not felt <well> towards him for some things in connection with the Bullion-Beck matter.

After he got through, Brother Thatcher arose and spoke at some length and with feeling. He said that he had been aware that President Woodruff did not feel that confidence in him that he had at one time.

After he got through, I got up, but after speaking some little time I was choked down with my emotions. I said I had desired above everything else during my life, next to my desire to keep the faith and to honor my priesthood, that I might have the love of my brethren and the people of God, and of my family. I had craved and yearned for this. I was almost feminine in my feelings in this regard. I explained my position as an orphan in early life, and how I had yearned until it had almost become a morbid feeling for love, and it is a characteristic of mine now. I had no feelings against any of my brethren, if they would only not have feelings against me. But I was harassed with the fear, in consequence of what had taken place in the past, that I would be exposed to their censure and to their condemnation. It was my constant prayer that I might be delivered from this; and I felt to mourn over any weaknesses that I might have or any imperfections of character that would cause my brethren to withhold their love from me, or their confidence. Standing in the position that I did, I thought I ought to be a man deserving love and confidence. I could say that I had no feelings against my brethren that would prevent me from praying for them, as I did whenever I prayed for myself. I never asked the Lord for a blessing or gift to be bestowed upon me that I did not ask the same power to be given to my fellow servants; and if they would have confidence in me, I knew I would have confidence in them. I then went on and alluded, inasmuch as Bullion-Beck matters had been mentioned, to the course that had been taken in depriving me, owning as I did so large a share of the Bullion-Beck property, of representation on the Board. I said this had been a cause of feeling at one time with me, but I had put it behind me; yet whenever anything brought it to my mind, I felt injustice had been done me in this. How far Brother Thatcher or anyone else was to blame in that, I could not say. I spoke with a good deal of feeling.

Brother Thatcher followed and explained how this occurred; that neither I nor my son sympathized with the rest in their determination not to allow the California parties any of the stock.

I had stated in my remarks that I had supposed this was the case; but all that I had been guilty of, to bring such consequences upon me, was a willingness to fulfil a contract that President Taylor and myself had made. President Jos. F. Smith spoke and with great plainness, setting forth his feelings concerning Brother Moses Thatcher and Brother John W. Taylor’s attitude towards the First Presidency in refusing to take their counsel in the matter of settling with the California people.

This led to a general and free discussion concerning these matters, and we disclosed to the brethren of the Twelve a great many things which they knew nothing of. They had felt that we were being humbugged. They did not have confidence in our judgment, and thought they knew more about these things than we did; whereas the facts were, we understood the whole situation. In the course of my subsequent remarks I said that I was aware of this feeling on the part of some of the brethren; but I thought that I had not shown myself incapable of judging men. (These remarks were called forth by a remark of Brother Thatcher, that I had said to him that if a trickster approached me I was apt to believe him; that I was naturally of a confiding disposition). I had been in Washington a great deal, and while there, though I did not wish to boast in the least, I was willing that my record should be compared with that of any of my brethren, and I really had had more experience in these matters than any of them, and I thought I was entitled to confidence; for in my career I had shown that I was not easily imposed upon.

Before we got through they all got a better idea of what we had been doing than they had ever had, and I have no doubt that they revised their opinions concerning us and our movements.

I think that this interview will result in great good. We adjourned about 4 o’clock, to meet tomorrow at 11, with the intention of partaking of the sacrament also[.]

Thursday, Jany. 29th, 1891.

As we had agreed to fast today, I did not eat any breakfast.

At 11 o’clock we met in the upper room of the Gardo House, there being present the same brethren as met yesterday, also Brother A. H. Lund, who had been telegraphed for and had come up. Prayer was offered by President Jos. F. Smith.

President L. Snow desired the brethren of the Twelve who had not spoken to express their feelings.

Brother Lyman was the first speaker, and he expressed the warmest and kindest feelings toward all the brethren of the Council; they had his love and confidence.

Brother John Henry Smith said that so far as he was concerned, if any of the brethren had feelings against him they had never told him about them, and if he had any against any of them he would have told them.

Brother Heber J. Grant then arose, and went into a great many details concerning the feelings that he had had. He told of instances where he had felt hurt by President Woodruff Taylor and myself. The burden of his remarks, however, were more that President Taylor had hurt him than I had, though he seemed to attach the blame to me for what had been done. He spoke about not having perfect confidence in me at the time the First Presidency had been organized, when I had been chosen First Counselor to President Woodruff. Among other things, he said that his feelings of prejudice against me had been melting of late like dew before the sun, and he was learning to love and appreciate me. Still his other remarks made the impression upon my mind that there was a lack of confidence still in his mind; for he said that he had had feelings because I seemed to have more confidence in men like Hiram B. Clawson than I did in him, who was my fellow apostle, and I did not show the confidence that he thought I might have done when I obtained the $35,000 to make payment for the sugar company. He spoke of a great many things in which Brother Moses Thatcher also had hurt his feelings, and he was rather more severe on him in his remarks than he was on myself. But he said, in concluding, that he loved Brother Thatcher and myself as well as any two men in the Council. He told about the manner in which he had been brought up, without a father, and gave that as an explanation of his sensitiveness on some points, and that he did desire the love and confidence of the brethren, which he thought he did not have to as great an extent on my part as he thought he deserved and as he would have liked.

I arose and expressed my astonishment at the remarks that Brother Grant had made. It was to me a complete revelation. I said if I chose to do so I could frame an indictment against him that would be much more serious than anything he had said against me. In referring to Brother Clawson, I said what an injustice it was to blame me for showing confidence in Brother Clawson when Presidents Woodruff and Smith were equally to blame, if there were any blame to be attached, with myself. If I had been reticent and non-communicative with Brother Grant or any of the brethren, it was because I did not feel that it was my place to communicate things which President Woodruff himself could explain if he wished to do so. I was, I knew, a reticent man on matters that were private. I did not talk about them; for I did not think it was a wise thing. It was so in my own business affairs. My family knew but little about my affairs. But it was not because I wished to conceal anything from them. It was not natural for me to be very communicative on matters of this kind. There were matters that we could not very well communicate to the brethren; at least, I felt that I could not; but if President Woodruff chose to do so, it was his privilege.

Brother Grant interrupted me while I was speaking and said I had evidently misunderstood his remarks; for he was only alluding to these things to show how mistaken he had been in me and what trifling causes he had had for his feelings against me.

I thanked him for this expression, because I was afraid, in listening to him, that I was going to have a renewal of old scenes. In my remarks I said if I chose to have feelings against my brethren I thought I had cause enough for it in the past, because I believed the older brethren of the quorum would agree with me that no Apostle had passed through such an ordeal, in some respects, as I had at the hands of his fellow Apostles. But I did not cherish any feeling against anyone on that account. I had forgiven and buried those things, and desired them to never be revived again. It was not natural for me to treasure up injuries. But I have craved the love of my brethren, and was willing to forgive everything, and as far as possible to forget everything of an unpleasant character.

After our meeting was through I took Brother Grant aside and said to him, While you were speaking and saying that you were averse to me being chosen vice president of Z.C.M.I. because of your prejudice that you had labored for Brother Thatcher to get that position, it struck me that I have been recently elected, without my knowledge and against my wishes I might say, a director in the Co-operative Wagon and Machine Co, of which you are president, and I recalled the fact also that you were absent when this occurred, and I made up my mind that as soon as the meeting was out I should resign that position. Brother Grant said, Do you still feel so? I told him, no; his explanations had removed all feeling of that kind; but I still wished to ask whether it was agreeable to his feelings, inasmuch as he was absent; for I had no desire to accept the position. He said, When I heard of it I was delighted that you had been chosen. Says he, I have had feeling against you for refusing to act when I have proffered you positions on boards that I was interested in, and I thought it was because you did not have confidence in me. I replied, That is not the case; but, as I have told you, I do not wish to act in these positions, they take too much of my time. I felt that the labors of my ministry ought to receive my first and principal attention. He then assured me again that his love for me was very great, and he was ashamed of what he had done in the past--ashamed of the prejudices that he had yielded to and the wrong feelings that he had entertained, and he put his arms around me and embraced me, and said that he loved me very dearly and trusted that I would forgive him.

This conversation was private, but it was very gratifying to me; for I have earnestly desired that my brethren might see at some time the wrongs they have done me in the course they took after President Taylor’s death. After I had finished talking in the meeting, and Brother Grant had made further explanations, President Woodruff said he desired these bygone affairs to be buried and not referred to again.

Brother Thatcher made some explanations concerning remarks that Brother Grant had made about him, and he was quite humble. While on his feet he turned to me and asked my pardon for everything that he had done against me. I said to him that he had my fullest pardon for everything, and I was exceedingly glad to hear him say what he did.

Brother John W. Taylor expressed himself as feeling well, as did Brothers F. D. Richards, A. H. Lund and A. H. Cannon.

After the brethren got through, President Woodruff made some interesting remarks concerning the differences in men’s characters and dispositions. The Lord had made no two things exactly alike, and this applied to us also. He said that he did not think there ever was a body of men more united than the Apostles in this dispensation. There had been a few exceptions; but as a general rule there had been a great deal of union among them.

President Lorenzo Snow made some very timely remarks concerning the reverence which he had for the Priesthood, and which he thought ought to be entertained by all the brethren. He spoke of the Prophet Joseph and of the Prophet Brigham. Though they were men and had their failings, and he felt that he had the right to scrutinize their conduct, at the same time, though he saw some things that he could not endorse as being always right, he knew they were servants of God, and they had his love and confidence, and he had never felt, even in his thoughts, to find fault with them or condemn them, much less in words.

President Jos. F. Smith afterwards arose and moved that we seek to live so humbly before the Lord that we may get His Spirit to guide us in all our transactions; that we will set uppermost our allegiance to God and our brethren; that all other things be secondary to this; that we seek the Spirit of the Lord and act like men, and show due respect to each other as men holding the Holy Priesthood, and to our seniors therein; that we let the little differences of the past be buried, and we agree to forgive each other always.” He spoke with a great deal of power concerning the principle of reverence for the Priesthood, and mentioned several things to illustrate the thoughts that he had; for instance, interrupting each other while we were speaking, and taking liberties with men that were older. He said that he never felt that he could precede a man, even going upstairs or through a door, who was his senior in the Priesthood. He dwelt on the great change that had taken place since the death of President Young in this respect in the Quorum of the Apostles. There was a great lack of respect and reverence which in the days of Brother Brigham was very noticeable. The brethren of the Twelve then did respect each other and reverenced their seniors. He described his own feelings upon this point. His remarks were excellent, and I think all felt greatly edified by them.

I spoke to the brethren and said that the remarks of President Smith were most appropriate, coming as they did from him and I desired to bear testimony that in all my association with him he had carried out in his life and in his demeanor towards me the principles that he had set forth today. He had treated me with a respect which I felt many times was undeserved on my part, and sometimes it almost embarrassed me. I said I could not do justice to my own feelings nor to him without stating this.

President Snow, in the course of remarks which he made in this connection, stated that while at St. George the Lord had shown to him that President Taylor’s days would be short, and he had seen that President Woodruff would preside over the church, and that I would be his first counselor and Brother Jos. F. Smith his second counselor. He said this in consequence of Brother Smith having spoken about a feeling that he had that President Woodruff and President Snow did not have the confidence in him that he would like them to have. But he said that if brethren did not have confidence in him to the extent that he would like, he had felt that it was because they saw something in him that prevented them from giving him that confidence, and it had made him feel very humble. President Snow related this circumstance or vision (he said it was the first time he had ever told it, except to President Woodruff while he was down at St. George) to show the confidence that he had in Brother Smith.

President Woodruff also made remarks expressing his entire confidence in Brother Smith. He also spoke about the fitness of himself for the position which the Lord had called him to fill. He said he was a very weak instrument. But the Lord had called him and he intended, with His help, to endeavor to do his duty. He spoke about the union between himself and his counselors, how united we were; and he said he was very glad that the brethren had expressed themselves as they had done; for he believed it would lead to greater union and to a stronger feeling of love and friendship than had existed.

There was a good deal of conversation indulged in by all of us, and all expressed their feelings with freedom.

The motion which President Smith had made was carried unanimously. The question of administering the sacrament and the method of doing it-- whether it was proper to take it to the principal authority first or not-- was discussed. It was felt that as a rule it would be no more than right, especially if the President of the Church or his Counselors were present, that it should be presented to them first, though we all felt that too much stiffness in this respect would not be proper. At the same time it was thought that it sometimes was necessary to maintain a custom of that kind, lest by neglecting these things a feeling of indifference and want of respect might grow up.

We had an intermission of ten minutes, while the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper—bread and wine—was prepared. Upon being seated around the table, President Woodruff called upon President Snow to bless the bread and the wine. The First Presidency and Twelve, and Brother Geo. Reynolds, who was with us as clerk, then partook of the sacrament.

The question of the sugar industry was next taken up, and President Jos. F. Smith moved that Brother Heber J. Grant be appointed to go East or West, after we had made the necessary arrangements, with securities to borrow a hundred or a hundred and fifty thousand dollars, to be applied temporarily to the sugar industry, also to visit the manufacturers of the machinery to see if an extension of time could be obtained from them. This was seconded by myself. Brother Grant suggested that an effort be first made to obtain the money in San Francisco. He had an idea that we could borrow $200,000 for five years. The question as to the best means of raising the needed money was then fully canvassed by us. Brother John W. Taylor said that he thought he could raise $50,000 if we wished him to do so, and related a conversation that he had had that morning with Fred Walker, who has a bank down town. It was finally decided that he should go and see what he could do with these bankers, and that Brother Grant should see what he could do, they acting as a joint committee, after which the meeting adjourned until 11 o’clock tomorrow[.] It is not often that I have a headache, but I suffered from a severe one for awhile before the meeting dismissed. The closeness of the atmosphere, the fasting and the drinking of the wine at the sacrament together produced it, I think; but as soon as I got out in the air and took a drive home, my headache left me. It is a pain that I have never suffered from but one [once] in my life, and that was when I was a boy, in Nauvoo.

Friday, Jany. 30th, 1891.

I omitted to mention last evening that I had a conversation with my brother Angus and told him that I thought he ought to attend more to the duties of his ministry than he was doing. No one had complained of him to me, but I felt that he was spending too much time away. He explained his reasons for it, and he hoped that he would be able soon to devote more time and attention to his calling.

There were present this morning at our meeting the same brethren as met yesterday. Prayer was offered by Brother F. D. Richards.

Brother Grant reported that McCornick could not loan any part of the amount that we desired. Brother John W. Taylor had two interviews with parties, and he reported also that at the present time the Walkers could not loan either the whole or any part of the amount he asked for.

Brother Grant said that he had a meeting with the executive committee of the State Bank, and though they were closely pressed they were willing to furnish $25,000. He went on and explained how $24,000 might be raised on Z.C.M.I. paper through the State Bank, and if this could be done (which Brother Thatcher, as vice president of Z.C.M.I., thought might be done<)> the bank could make up $26,000, which would be enough to pay the pending payment required under the sugar company’s contract with the manufacturers of the machinery. There was a feeling came over me, in listening to him, of great pleasure, to think that this appeared so likely to be successful.

President Snow desired to know from President Woodruff what counsel should be given to the brethren who were brought before the courts when they were asked to promise to obey the laws. President Woodruff replied that his advice had been that the brethren should make that promise.

As considerable had been said at our previous meetings concerning our friends in California, especially in relation to Messrs. Badlam and Trumbo, President Jos. F. Smith in his remarks dwelt at great length on the services these men had rendered us, especially Col. Trumbo. In this he was joined by President Woodruff and myself. In order that the brethren might have a more perfect understanding of what we were doing, and feeling that it would be better under the circumstances to impart confidence to them, even though it was a little contrary to the understanding that we had with our friends in California, I read a long communication which I had requested Judge Estee to make, being a report of what he had done in Washington and his views concerning our situation. The reading of the letter and the explanations which I made gave great satisfaction to the brethren.

Elder Moses Thatcher moved, and it was seconded by Brother Lyman, that in view of the explanations which had been made, the course of the first Presidency in all these matters was approved by the unanimous vote of the brethren present. All voted for this, excepting Brother John W. Taylor, who was out at the time.

The sugar question was then again taken up, and a great many remarks were made pro and con.

Brother Grant suggested a plan of agreement among the banks by which we could be greatly strengthened. Brother Thatcher described what he had tried to do in this direction some time ago.

Among other points, it was declared to be the sense of the meeting that it was unwise for corporations to follow the practice which had hitherto prevailed to some extent, of paying the tithing of the stockholders by the institutions themselves, instead of leaving it to the individual stockholders to do so. It was felt this was a dangerous practice.

The question of encouraging outsiders to take stock in our institutions was discussed; and while the general feeling of the brethren was that it might not be improper for honorable men to have interests with us in our institutions, still no action was taken upon this to make it a policy.

Brother F. M. Lyman expressed himself as desirous to know what the mind of the Lord was concerning taking hold of the sugar industry. From his expressions he evidently has but little faith in the success of the enterprise, and this is the case with several of the Twelve. I got one of the circulars that had been signed by the First Presidency and sent out to the Presidents of Stakes and Bishops, and after it was read I said, this is the position that we occupy as the First Presidency. I said I did not think it right to ask President Woodruff to say, “thus saith the Lord” upon questions of this character. We all had taken part in this, and I was opposed myself to the church taking upon it this responsibility. The question before us at the present time is, Shall we, representing our community, step forward and use our credit to help meet these payments which are contracted for, so that time May be given to the people to raise their subscription. The money is not here and not procurable, and something has to be done to enable us to meet our contract.

President Woodruff made remarks in the same strain. He said he had taken hold of this just as he would Z.C.M.I. or any other enterprise that ought to be sustained.

Brother Grant moved that the church take one-tenth of the capital stock of the Utah Sugar Co—$50,000—and that the church use its credit and influence to borrow money necessary to carry the enterprise through, and that we make an indemnifying bond, as officials of the church, to guarantee to all persons who May personally give their notes, to protect them from all loss. President Snow seconded this motion.

Then followed remarks by all the brethren. There were a few—Brothers Lyman, Taylor and A. H. Cannon—who expressed themselves as having no faith in the success of the enterprise. Brother Taylor’s remarks were very strong and threw over my feelings a dark and dampening effect.

Brother Thatcher spoke very strongly in favor of the project and showed by figures that it was an enterprise that there was every reasonable prospect for it paying. His remarks were made after I had opened the subject and set forth our reasons for believing that it would be a success. Practical men, in whose judgment I had entire confidence, had examined this question and had concluded from their observation in visiting factories, etc, that it could be made a success. The country needed something of this kind to furnish employment and to stop the drain of money from the country for this important article of consumption.

My son Abraham’s ground for doubting the success seemed to be based on the idea that the beets could not be produced in Utah County that would be suitable.

After considerable conversation, Brother Grant’s motion was finally carried. This was after President Woodruff, Brothers Snow, Richards, Thatcher, Grant and myself had all spoken in favor of it.

President Woodruff explained in some detail his feelings. He said that for three days and nights he had tried his best to get to feel that it should be dropped, but it made him feel very badly; and whenever he thought of carrying it out he said he felt well and that it was right. This was the testimony of all the brethren who were in favor of the project.

A motion was made yesterday for Brother Grant to go East. It was carried today, and he expressed a desire to have one of the First Presidency go with him, and suggested Brother Jos. F. Smith. In view of the labors that devolve upon us as the First Presidency I said, after the meeting, that I felt that he should not go. While I desired that he should have the liberty and pleasure of going, at the same time I thought he could scarcely be spared. In this feeling Brother Smith agreed, and we decided that Brother John Henry Smith should go with Brother Grant, as it was felt that someone should accompany him in his present condition of health.

Brother Thatcher, who expected to go to Mexico, desired to be blessed before he left, and Brother Grant also. We all laid our hands on Brother Thatcher and President Woodruff desired me to be mouth. I was favored with a good deal of the Spirit in blessing him, and afterwards he shook hands with me and expressed the great pleasure he had in having our affairs settled. He said he had perfect love and confidence in me. I replied that I felt glad and it had been a happy day for me to hear him say so. Well, he said, you have more of my love and confidence than appears on the surface always; I can say that.

President Jos. F. Smith was mouth in blessing Brother Grant.

Brother Thatcher dismissed the Council.

Saturday, Jany. 31st, 1891.

Brother Arthur Winter came down to my place this morning and I dictated to him my journal for the last few days, also two articles for the Juvenile Instructor.

In the afternoon I went to town, having been invited to a birthday party at the house of Brother Wm. B. Dougall. His wife and Sister Phoebe Beatie are adopted daughters of Sister Zina H. Young. They are daughters of President Young, but their mother died when they were very young, and Sister Zina brought them and Willard and Mary up. This is Sister Young’s 70th birthday, and there was a very select and interesting company of people gathered together. My wife Carlie was invited also. The evening was spent in conversation, etc. A piece of poetry was read which had been composed for the occasion by Sister Emily Hill Woodmansee, and Sister Susa Young Gates read a piece of her own composition, in honor also of Sister Zina; after which Sister Maria Dougall requested me to make a few remarks; but as Brother F. D. Richards was there and was near Sister Zina’s age, I suggested that he be called upon. He spoke for about 15 mins, and being again requested I followed for a few mins. Lunch was served, which was very much enjoyed by all present.

My son Brigham took us home in the victorine.